How do I do it?

I had a friend whom last week was left alone by his maid for holiday. He had to do all the houseworks by himself: cooking, cleaning, laundry, groceries. And he asked me "how did u do it all by yourself last time, Nov?"

haha...he made me remember all those days when I had my first newborn baby and no maid/nanny...and no relatives who lives here in Singapore who can come and help me. I just have my hubby and God to help me! I was freaked out at first! But I survived, I guess! 

Here's what I did:
+ I cleaned the floor everyday. twice a day. Morning and evening.The floor is important for me. Caleb spent most of his time on the floor and on the bed (when he still couldn't walk), so I took a great deal that these 2 had always to be clean.

+ I cleaned decoration item,furniture, and bathroom once a week. Because it would take an hour to complete everything, I did it either at night after caleb was asleep (7pm) or in the morning when my hubby was still around.

+did laundry and ironed clothes once a week. Did laundry with Caleb around. He would play with the hangers :)
and ironed the clothes at night when he was already asleep.

+cleaned the window every 2 weeks. I hate cleaning windows haha... It was tiring and alot of job. Not to mention, the weather! rained after you cleaned them!

+did errands and groceries with Caleb and hubby in the evening, before Caleb's bedtime.

+I didn't cook but order catering food. I salute moms who could manage to cook as well as doing other house chores and raising a baby.

Please take note:
*I have a very active and curious baby who demand my attention hahaha but thank God I managed to do the houseworks too. That's why having a routine on your baby and having independent time for him help you accomplish your house chores.
*I always clean and tidy up Caleb's toys right after he's done playing with them. I would not wait for him to sleep and clean up, although it was easier to do it when he's not going to create another mess, but by doing this in front of your baby, you are actually teaching and encouraging him to clean his own mess. Once he's able to do it, ask him to help you, first by asking him to put 1 piece of toy back to the toy box. Caleb now always puts back whatever he takes from its original place #payoff days! ^^
* I always cleaned the floor when Caleb was awake, mostly at his independent playtime. So he got to see me doing cleaning everyday. Once he could walk, he wanted to have a broom and a mop and helped me clean the floor. I find it sweet and another good achievement and benefit :D

My hubby once commented that he still found the house was much tidier and cleaner when I was in charge, meaning I did a better job than my maid now.
I couldn't blame the maid though. She had to finish all the house chores (cleaning all the rooms, bathrooms, doing laundry, ironing) and cooking before I leave to work in the afternoon. When I'm working, she has to watch over my son. Unlike me who did some of the chores once a week, she did the complete cleaning everyday. But I take it she's not as detail and perfectionist as me.
I can be a perfectionist when I am doing the chores by myself. But I know with the maid, I couldn't be so demanding. As long as she's doing a good job, that's fine with me.

The book helps!

I wanted to write about this since 3 days ago and just so happened today my cousin who just gave birth a month ago, asked me whether it is necessary for her to read any parenting book
I told her that I couldn't really answer the question. Because one may feel that it is a need to gain and equip herself with knowledge by reading or doing researches from books, websites, etc. And one may feel that she can just go on relying on her mom's instincs.
I am number 1 type of mom. I read books, follow parenting websites and blogs, join a motherhood forum. I do so to equip myself with knowledge and gain wisdom because I realize parenting is not an easy job to do. Even with all the books I read, I still wouldn't be able to do it without God's grace.
You can be mom no 2 too, who doesn't read any books to guide you how to raise your children. I believe you can survive too because moms are already equipped by God.

I personally do not regret I had come to find baby whisperer book. It helped gain so much knowledge that I can practically apply on my son. Not all the theories work for me and my son. For example, Caleb still needs my gentle pat to send him to dreamland while in the theory, babies should be able to soothe himself to sleep without our help. Caleb sometimes still asks for night feeding, which actually he should be able to sleep through without milk at all by now.
But some theories really work and I am happy with the result. I wasn't surprised when Caleb was around 8 weeks old and suddenly asked for more frequent bottles of milk than he usually needed. I knew straight away he was going through a growth spurt period which lasted for 3-4 days.
3 months old, when Caleb woke up at dawn around 4am and just went cooing, I knew it was a phase.
4 months old, when he threw out all his milk..pouring out of sudden like a fountain, he was having a mild reflux. the book helped me to have the knowledge so I didn't get panic.

And the book helped me to know the importance of having a routine.
With routine, both I and my baby know what to expect next and therefore, I can organize my time well and know when I can run errands, and have free time for myself, because I know when Caleb is going to eat, nap, awake, etc.
With routine, Caleb knows when is bedtime, meal time, play time, etc. It helps him to prepare himself for what's next.
With routine, Caleb sleeps around the same time every night. When he was a newborn, he slept at 7pm so after 7 I got my free time already. How nice was that right! Now he sleeps around 8. And it is still a good timing, I still have time for myself and for my hubby :)
Sometimes I hear some kids are still playing at the playground around 10pm, sometimes I see a father trying to make his baby sleep by pushing around his stroller at the park around 11pm!! and my hubby told me "i'm just glad you want to read a book, do some research and stick to it. Otherwise, I'd be just like these people. 11 pm at the park, trying to make my son sleepy and go to bed"

The book taught me the importance of having an independent playtime.
It taught me how to toilet train. and many many more...

And today, I would like to thank my dear friend once again...yes, once again. Because I thanked her before and then again some time after that..and now I'm going to do it AGAIN!
I thank you, SYLVIA, for choosing to give me these books as a gift to me. I know you follow my blog and you'll be reading this post. Thank you! You should get these books too for yourself someday when "the good news" come okay :)
Now, have fun in Paris and Estonia. and Merry Christmas dear :)

Tips on teaching flashcards

One mommy told me how his son couldn't sit quietly when she tried to teach him flashcards. Moreover, her son would scatter all the cards and bite them. She asked me how I do it with Caleb.
Well, here's some tips:

* Start early, before he turns 1 (or 2)
When the kids enter 2 year old, they will have their own will and power to refuse what they're told to. So teaching them and to make them sit and study is another challenge. I started when Caleb was able to sit without support which was around 7 or 8 months. Some moms start earlier.

*believe that it'll work!
He may not be able to copy what you said, he may be distracted with other things as well. That's okay. Keep showing the card one by one, even if he takes only a glance at it, even he only sees it for a sec, just make sure he sees the picture and then tell him what's the picture (bird, cloud, sun, etc). Believe it, his brain is recording it. Even if he's a late talker, at least he will soon understand many words by the time he's 18 months old and your benefit is that you have a toddler who understands whatever you're talking about. If he starts talking earlier, he would have so many vocabs by the time he's 18 months old!

*make it a routine
set a time for learning time. I had my learning time with Caleb after his nap and now switched it in the morning after his shower. This will tell your child what to expect next and he'll get used to this learning activity. Caleb was so used with having flashcards that after his nap he would point his finger to where I put his flashcards.

*Have a strategy
There were a period of time when I faced a challenge. That was when Caleb demanded to hold the card by himself. But when I gave them to him, he would scatter them and make a mess in the room. So what I did was I grabbed all the cards and only showed him one by one. After he guessed the picture in the card (or I say the word to him), I would then give him the card and asked him to put it back on the box (with my help). He found it interesting. It was another challenge for him beside guessing the picture, he got to figure it our how to put the card back in the card box. That way he would not scatter them again.

*apply in real life
the pictures you've shown in the flashcards, be sure to show him what's the real thing.
For example, you show him pictures of hat, socks, pants etc...and later on when you dress him up, you tell him this is the socks, these are your pants etc.
When you're at the supermarket, have fun showing him this is apple, orange etc
When your're at playground, show him...that's uncle with his dog, that's the slide, etc
Flashcards works more effective when you show him the real thing.
and when you teach him numbers and ABC with cards, you can also ask him what's the letters on the poster you both see at the bus stop, or when you pass by a mall, you ask him to spell the letters of a mall's name and so on. Be creative :)

I love flashcards because it is a fun and educative toy. It helps building vocabularies. It encourages your kid to talk.

pouring out my heart

Today I have been talking to a group of moms since morning in my bbm group, I started a topic about how to teach our kid small letters in alphabet. Caleb has recognized all the 26 letters in alphabets but they are all in big letters, and he seems to be confused when I try to teach him small letters. These moms that I asked for an advice, are actually moms with older kids (let's say 2-4 years old) whom I assumed should be able to give me some tips. To my surprise, not all of their 3-4 year old kids have learned the alphabets well. But that's not my point of today's sharing. Out of the topic I brought in, one mom commented and cynically accused me for giving Caleb such a hard time studying in such a young age! She said Caleb should have all his time for playing and not studying as once he starts school, it's a long way and years to go so let him have the fun while he can get one.
Instead of giving me the tips that I asked for, she gave me an advice to step back and relax, don't push too hard on my son. yeah right!
She also gave me a lecture about how moms tend to compare their kids, and if another kid is able to master something earlier than the others, they get panic and try to push their kids to do better by signing them up to phonic class, tuition, etc and resulting unecessary stress for the kid.

ehem... first, let me explain...I have been teaching my son with alphabets, numbers, flashcards since he was able to sit and cruise, which means before he was 1 year old. My reason is because I don't want my son to spend all his time having fun with toys that do not educate him well and then pass the responsibility to teach him academic lesson to his teacher later on. Isn't it shameful when you're not working, a stay at home mom, but there is nothing you do to make a good progress in your son? I'd rather go back to full time working then!
Secondly, if the kid himself is willing to learn, is interested, is curious..wouldn't you want to use this opportunity to teach?
It's not like I sign him in to classes or playgroups. I am teaching him myself and he gets to spend the time with me and not someone else.
my son enjoys his learning time! He has fun! He giggles in victory whenever he guess the alphabet or the picture in the card correctly. what's the stress you're talking about, mom??
Lastly, I hate comparing! and that's why I seldom ask other moms who have children at the same age as Caleb about what their kids have mastered/ can do. I am also not the type of mom who would pressure my son to study and have so many tuitions. If you know Singapore, you know for sure how the education system here is tough! school alone is stressful enough, I wish my son would not need additional tuition so he can have his free time to relax.

Seriously, that was a very ridiculous and unbelievable accuse!

The terrible twos

What is terrible twos?

It is a time when toddlers learn to assert themselves and test limits

It is the way two-year-olds express their emotions. Raw and powerful emotions at age two. They will show you what they feel right away. If they’re happy, they giggle. If they’re angry, they scream.

And according to wikipedia:

A child developmental stage which normally occurs around the age of two (but can start earlier) and consists of toddlers often saying no and throwing temper tantrums.

These words – terrible two – have actually threatened me when I first heard there is such label for our toddler when they reach 2. Some mommies in the forum claim that their 20 months old toddies have started their terrible two already and giving them so much headache.

Caleb has recently started to give me some attitudes during meal time. He will want to use his own spoon but when you give him the spoon, he won’t eat but just play with the food! I don’t accept this kind of behaviour. So when he only plays with food and not eating it, I quickly put him down from his chair and take away the bowl. He will cry, of course. And because we usually give him lunch right before his nap, he sometimes threw mini tantrums because he was sleepy. So to avoid this, I change his lunch time after his nap. And replace his snack time at 2.30 pm to 10.30 am, before he naps.

I’m not sure whether this is the sign of terrible two. But I tell myself I have to refuse this. I will not label my son with a terrible two title! Instead, I will stay positive and speak blessings over his 3^rd year!

However, be it a terrible twos or threes, we do face our challenges to raise our kid. They do misbehave sometimes. So discipline is necessary. You may refer to my previous post: discipline

It's december!!

Yes it is december! Our fave month of the year. And I can't believe how fast the time flies. This time last year I thought in another 3 months time, Caleb would be 1 year old and that was fast. Now, in another 3 months, he'll be 2 years old. and I even feel that the time flies even faster than last year. I can't believe I will have to think for Caleb's birthday this soon...how we're going to celebrate it, the presents, the cake, etc. It feels like just a few moments ago we celebrated it. Moreover, we enjoy this year so much. As I told you I love this stage, compared to his baby life. We all enjoy him so much that we don't want it to pass soon..and pray that if he has to arrive at another stage of life, which means being a 2 year old toddler, bless that year so it'll be even more blissful and enjoyable!

Toilet Training

In baby whisperer book, Tracy suggested that we start as early as 9 months old. I did try that but it did not work well so I postponed. I resumed the training when he was 15 months old. But Caleb drinks water a lot! He can drink up to 800ml/day and pee almost every 10 minutes. I postponed it because he seems that he still didn't have the ability to hold, he would just pee right there at the moment he wanted to. However, we actually earned success with poo-ing. It was much easier for poo training because he understood quickly the sensation of going to poo, and poo doesn't come as fast as urine, so he can hold it. He has his time to tell us he is about to do his business and run to the toilet.
We also took Tracy's tips that we should train using toilet seat, and not potty. With potty, you will need to train him again, (another effort and energy), to use the toilet seat later on.
Since then til now, Caleb always poo on the toilet, except when he was having diarrhea due to stomach flu, there were many accidents but after he was recovered, toilet is where he does his business.

Well, today there's a little success. A very good sign. Today out of sudden he just stood still. I asked him what was wrong. He told me "pee".  So I brought him to the bathroom and undressed him quickly, and so he peed. Yippeee!!!

This is a signal for me to resume the training because:
1. He is telling me that he is ready
2. He knows the sensation when he's about to pee
3. He is able to hold it for a while
4. Tracy's book suggest that we should toilet train the kid before he reaches 2, as it would be easier.

Of course after this one time success, he had his accidents again, by peeing on the floor which I already expected he would and that's okay. But honestly it is difficult to have a full-day training as I am now working part time. But tomorrow is weekend and I should be able to do it full day. I plan to not use diaper at all, just like last time. I want him to feel the discomfort of being wet so that he knows that he needs to at least tell me if he's about to pee and we can quickly put him on the toilet.

One mommy who heard my little success story today asked me, how at the first place he would stand still and said "pee", how did he know he was going to pee?
I think my son got the idea because every now and then when he had accidents by peeing on the floor, or when he pee during his bath, I would tell him "oh see...you pee". Maybe he gets the idea from this experience. So I think it's a good idea to make him aware of what peeing is like.

Oh well, I hope I'll be having more success on the training :)

Action speaks louder

My hubby and I both come from a family background where kisses, hugs, and 'I love you' were not done and said frequently. It's just our family's culture, typical asian - I guess. But when I was pregnant, hubby and I both agreed that we want to build a family where you can find warmth - giving kisses and hugs, or saying "I love you" will not be an awkward thing to do.

It is the same thing as if you want your kid to say 'please' and 'thank you', you need to be the role model for her/him and use these words alot. We do the same thing. We show love and affection towards one another at home. So far, whenever Caleb sees mommy and daddy hug each other, he would run to us and join us in our family hug. Every morning when Caleb opens his eyes, he will smile at me and he will give me a kiss. He couldn't say the words  "I love you" properly yet but if we tell him "I love you", he will reply you "awooo" , meaning: I love you too :p
One day, he patted my head and said "hug mommy" and then kissed me. That was one of the best memories I want to treasure and I pray he will always be this lovely even when he grows older later.

Jesus The healer

This morning we went to a nearby supermarket and while we were walking, Caleb stopped and scratched his leg. He told us "itchy...itchy..". I noticed he had a mosquito bite. So daddy lay hands upon the bitten area and prayed that the itchiness will go away in the mighty name of Jesus. As soon as daddy said Jesus name, Caleb replied and closed the prayer with "Amen" and off he ran and giggling cheerfully.

I believe that he didn't feel itchy anymore. It is amazing how God loves and hears little children's prayer.
It is amazing how a young toddler can have such faith to believe that once daddy or mommy pray in Jesus name, every discomfort will go away.

It is amazing!

Language development

Some babies speak early. Some later.
I am blessed to have an early talker. But here I would like to calm you down if your baby has not started talking by 1 year old. First, most babies start talking when they are two years old. Most kids in my church started talking when they reached three. Second, they have not talked do not mean they do not understand all your words. Don't underestimate babies. They are SMART!

We were just watching Barney today. He used to love and watch Barney every day and then fell in love with Hi5 and Elmo and never watched Barney for quite some time. When he used to watch Barney back then, he didn't have as many vocabs as now. But today when we watched Barney sang a few songs, Caleb was actually singing along with Barney. I was surprised because first, it's been long time since we watched Barney but he remembered the song. Second, he knew exactly the words on the songs.
So I was thinking that all that time when he used to watch barney everyday, his brain recorded all the songs..word by word though he couldn't say it out. Now that he's able to say it out, those words easily come out. Amazing right...

So my point is, whatever your baby's listening to right now...his brain is recording it, compiling it in his file and saves it for future use :)
so don't worry...they'll eventually talk sooner or later!

You're not alone

My church is one of the place where you can see many young couples with babies. To be honest with you, these moms in my church are blesses\d with such angel babies. Well, I don't know exactly how easy their babies are but what I know for sure is that they are so calm, do not make so much noise, just sit quietly on their strollers, content enough playing with their mittens, pacifier, etc. And they nap well enough too. Bless those moms!

But I know that some moms out there may have babies who are not napping well and long enough. They may have been blessed with spirited babies who are very active and may not just let you sit and listen to the sermon quietly.

Don't worry. you're not alone. Many other moms experience just like you do.

Caleb never naps well when we're outside. He only takes 30-40 minutes nap when he's outside. He didn't sit quietly too in church.Most of Sunday nights, he would end up being overtired n stimulated resulting not sleeping well at night. So I have to be careful on his schedule. Usually I will put him to bed earlier at night.

I am sure whatever struggle you're going through now..be it about nap, sleep, meal time, picky eaters...
you're not alone moms... somewhere out there, there are moms who feel the same way as you do. Knowing that you're not the only one will always make you feel better :)

When everything doesnt work out...

When everything you've tried doesn't work, pray!

When Caleb did not sleep well for nights for no reason. No sign of teething, no sickness. Changed his diaper to a clean one. Set the air con to the right temperature. I wonder and wonder why. Was it the nap? Was it too much? and so I did trial and error with the nap. And stilll it didn't work.
So I prayed.
and so he slept through again.

When Caleb was cranky for no reason I could find out. I prayed.
and he soon was back to his old self, charming.

When things go wrong, and you don't know why. You've done your research. You've tried everything you know. and it still doesn't work out. Remember to pray.
Mommies, you are not alone. God is with you. He understands your struggles, your concerns and most importantly He knows and understands your baby more than you. So let Him take control.

The Prince and The Boy

Mommy: Caleb, you are mommy's little ..... ?
Caleb: Prince!!!
Mommy: and daddy is the ... ?
Caleb: Boy!!!!
(LOL !!! it's supposed to be "king")

About my blog

My name is Novita, born in 1983, I am Indonesian who is currently residing in Singapore. I have a loving dedicated husband and an adorable sweet little boy who's turning into two years old next March. Mostly my posts are about my experience as a wife and a mother. 

Pardon me that some of my previous posts here were written in Indonesian. But I realized that I get visitors from other countries as well and so from now on I decided to write in English.


For some of the posts which I consider to be important as reference, I label them in topics to make it easier for you to find what you want to read.


I am not an expert but I wish to be a blessing for someone out there who might have the same experience with me, someone who is doing research about raising her kid, or just simply to have fun 
reading my stories.


Cheers

we are here

Looking back to a year ago when I wished my baby would grow fast, I couldn't wait til he was able to walk and talk, I knew it would nice, life would be easier and my baby would be even more enjoyable.
And now finally we are here. Yes, we have arrived to this stage of his life where he is being so adorable and fun to be with. Yesterday, hubby and I had a talk about how we enjoy Caleb so much these few months and to be honest, we neither want to go back to his baby life nor for this stage to pass soon. We wish that he won't grow up so fast, we just want to treasure these moments :)

Talking about baby life, I read my previous posts about when Caleb threw tantrums or when he was going some emotional development, I really could say that we are all glad and relieved that we are not in that phase anymore at the moment. And actually when I said "tantrum", it wasn't really a tantrum with Caleb. You know..those big tantrums which usually happen when your baby rolls on the floor, kicking,screaming etc. Caleb used to have mini fits, not tantrums, and he did it by arching his back and crying. I notice that he has stopped doing it now. When he doesn't get what he wants, he usually cries and easily distracted as well and then stop crying within seconds.
Those emotional development, especially separation anxiety, is now getting a lot better. And because he can now walk and run properly, without falling down/accidents, he doesn't cry often too. Even when he falls down, he knows if it doesnt really hurt, he doesn't need to cry.
Moreover, he now can say alot of vocabs and getting better at joining words to make a sentence, so he seldom has frustration of not being able to say what he wants. This also has contributed alot of him not throwing tantrums.
So is his teething. We are left with another 4 molars and still no signs of them to show up...so we are at rest and peace now :)

But well... I am knocking my wood that it won't happen after I post this :D *knock wood hardly and repeatedly*

know your kid well

In baby whisperer book by Tracy Hogg, she explained that every baby has different character: angel, textbook, spirited, touchy and grumpy.

Caleb is both a textbook, for he always goes by what the books says (milestone on time, dropping nap at the appropriate age as stated in the book, and so on), and also a spirited baby, for he is a very active baby. He only becomes grumpy, easily irritated and gets upset if something is wrong, like when he is not feeling well or when he’s teething. Other than that he is a very sweet, loving, funny toddler. Just fun to be with.

Last week Caleb was down with stomach flu and of course he was a little cranky that time, we understood. But funny thing is after he recovered, for the next 3 days, he was even crankier than when he was sick. He got upset and cried easily. He was just so sensitive. He responded every ‘no’ and ‘mommy not near him’ by crying out loud.

It was weird because he was not sick anymore. A negative thought crossed my mind: the terrible two had started?? But quickly removed it from my mind and convinced myself that there must be something wrong, for I know my son well. He couldn’t just change character in overnight. This was not him, not his old self.

After three days and I suspected he was teething but couldn’t be so sure if he really was, I’ve just had enough with his overly sensitive behaviour. I prayed for him, lay my hand on him and bless him with the spirit of Joy, and rebuke all discomfort that stole his joy away. And after I prayed for him, he went down to playground, and praise God when he retuned home, I just knew that he was back to his old self. Yes, that instantly. By prayer that changes everything. Powerful right?

I was so relieved to see him being the son that I know. I brought him again later on to the park for a walk before bedtime, we met a couple on the lift. Caleb said hi and waved hand to them and smiled. I heard the guy commented how cute and adorable my son was as Caleb and I walked out from the lift. ^_^

Know your kid’s true character so you can tell if he’s just being himself or something is wrong. That way it saves you from assuming the wrong concerns.

DISCIPLINING OUR TODDLERS

I have been reading some information regarding this and I have been thinking about how I would discipline my own kid, and I thought it would be good to share what have come to my knowledge and my experience. But please, I am no expert, I just want to share with you. Please also log on to other resourceful websites like www.babycenter.com or www.supernanny.co.uk . I find it useful.

These are the information that I gather from my research:

The meaning of discipline:

It is a form of teaching our kids, not punishment

The principle:

1. Consistency: Whatever method you’re using, be consistent to use it everytime your kid needs to be disciplined

2. No lecture, a firm “no” and a quick explanation like “that’s dangerous” or “that’s not yours”. Sometimes a toddler needs to hear this “no” a hundred times before he gets the message. I witnessed it myself. After many times saying ‘NO’ to Caleb for the same thing he did, and he did it again the next day and the next day and so on, he finally understood and stopped. Nowadays he would point to our Christmas ornament in the tree and said ‘No’ (he used to want to touch or hit or drop the ornament)
3. No hitting/spanks/slaps

The books and websites I read saying that this only make the kids feel threatened and not learning anything other than being afraid of you. One mommy told me she regretted spanking her kid, coz later on her kid learned to spank and throw anything if he gets upset.

I honestly have not decided yet whether I would use this. My own pastor use cane to discipline his kids. But hitting is advised not to use our hand (physical contact), but use a stick/cane. It is because if you use physical contact, your kid will be afraid of you, but if you use cane he will be afraid of the thing and not you. And never do it out of anger (emotionally). The cane should not be too hard on them but not too soft, but just enough to let them know that his behaviour is unacceptable. Again, I have not decided yet since this is still not necessary for Caleb.

The methods:

1. Face the wall

Send the kid to face the wall for a period of time (2-3 minutes) when he gets out of control, or doing something unacceptable. I did it a few times. But actually it didn’t really work because caleb still didn’t understand why he was asked to face the wall and so he refused to stay facing the wall unless I hold his body still, by then his cries would be even lauder because he was confused.

2. Naughty corner

Send him to a corner/chair specially created when he misbehaved for a period of time (2-3 minutes). I Never did this because:

# I don’t think Caleb can sit still or stay there for the time given

# I don’t like the name “naughty corner”, it is as if I label my own son as naughty. Because I don’t believe he is naughty, he just sometimes make mistakes, but he is NOT naughty. And I also do not want him to think he is a naughty kid as well.

3. Time Out

Usually children understand this concept when they reach 3 years old. The concept of time out is to give some time for the kid to be able to calm down after a tantrum or anger. Again, it is not to punish.

I recently just used this method and it worked. But instead of sending him alone to his room, I went in with him and stay with him until he calmed down.

What I would do to discipline my kid:

For a first time misbehaved action, I would give him a warning by saying “no” and give him a reason ‘That’s not a toy’ or something. If he continued what he was doing, I would get down to his eye level, squeeze his hand but not hurting him, just enough to get his attention to me and then I will say say ‘no’ again and distract him. By the 3^rd time, I would proceed to the method (which last time I did it with ‘face the wall’.

For a repeated misbehaviour, I would directly make an action instead of saying no again. For example, he draw on our furniture instead on his paper although he had been told not to for a several times, I would take his crayons and keep it for a few days (but not too long that he forgets about it).

My experience using a time-out:

Last two weeks, Caleb was playing near our Christmas tree and suddenly he took an umbrella and I just knew he what he was going to do, so I told him “no, you cannot hit the tree”. But he didn’t listen. He hit the tree. I gave him another firm ‘No’ and he did it again and this time 2 ornaments dropped from the Christmas tree. I walked towards him and he just knew he was in trouble for not listening to me, so he cried before I even did anything or even reached him. By the time I reached him, he cried louder. I grabbed his hand and brought him to his room.

He sat down on his bed (we had a queen sized bed laying on the floor), still crying. I was sitting near the door and I told him ‘you need to calm down, Caleb’, but he didn’t calm down, he was crying even louder and confused why I didn’t come and hug him or carry him or help him calm down. So he tried to reach me to hug me, he even went behind me and hugged me from behind, I swear my heart melted but I had to remain firm. He needed to learn his lesson and learn to be able calm down by himself.

I told him again ‘I’m not leaving you, Caleb. But you need to calm down’ (in a loving tone)

He went to sit on the bed again, still crying.

I told him again ‘When you calm down, I will hug you and we can go out again’

He stopped crying.

And the moment he stopped crying, I praised him “good! See you calm down and stop crying”. The instance I said “good! See you calm down”, he looked a bit surprised and then he smiled, hugged me and I hugged him too, to let him know that he is forgiven and mommy loves him J

I took it that he was surprised that calming down is something good to do that deserves praise. I really hoped he understood.

After the hug, I asked him”do you want to say sorry to mommy”, and so he said sorry and we both went out the room.

Jesus name

And once the fever subsided, we had a good closure.

I make Caleb join me to say:

Mommy: fever, you don’t come back to me in the name of ….

Caleb: (shouting) JESUSSSS!!!!

:D

(proud of him that he’s familiar with Jesus name. Although he still doesn’t understand who Jesus is but I am glad that he knows Jesus since he is young. He hears Jesus name mentioned everyday!)

kisses after fever

Poor boy..he is having stomach flu since last Tuesday. Thank God the fever subsided on day 3. Relieved to see him being his old self, smiling, playing, and…kissing mommy!Yes.. he just showered me with lots of kisses without me asking him. It was as if he said “thanks mommy for taking care of me” :)

#sweet moment#

Teach your kids to clean up

I told you I like reading books about raising my kiddo, although it’s hard to find the time nowadays, but I still have a weekly update from baby center and I am glad I keep getting information that educates me.

One of the useful information that I have read, either from a book or from a website, I barely remember the source, but it said that when it comes to cleaning your baby toys, don’t do it when your baby sleeps, although it is easier to do that. You may think that there is no point of cleaning up when your baby is awake because then he will re-create the mess again. But when you clean the toys in front of your baby, you are teaching him and showing him a good example. He may not get it now, but later you will see the benefit.

Since Caleb was born, I always do the cleaning myself…cleaning the house (floor,window,furniture,kitchen,bathrooms) and Caleb often saw me doing that.And do you know what’s the first thing he wanted to do when he was able to walk by himself?He wanted my broom and help me sweep the floor and mop the table!

Once I was toilet training him, and he peed on the floor. He quickly grabbed a cloth to mop his pee on the floor. Well, of course I did not allow him to do it but I was very proud of his initiative to help.

About cleaning his toys, I always do it everytime he gets bored and stopped playing with one toy, I will tell him “let’s clean and tidy up before we leave the room”. There were lots of times he just ignored me and crawled outside the room, but I continue what I was doing. And then one day I decided to really make him a part of the cleaning job by leaving 1 item for him to put back on the his toy box, and I still do that til now whenever he doesn’t feel like cleaning up, at least he put one item back in its place.And so these days I am relieved that I begin to see some benefits actually show up.He now does the cleaning of his bath toy after shower on his own, without being told!

And what makes me proud even more…

Yesterday we were at the doctor’s clinic and while we were waiting there, I grabbed 2 car toys for Caleb to play. And when he had done playing with them, he put them back to where I took those toys!! I am so amazed and proud of him! J

It was a pleasure to have the knowledge I have, been applied and gain its benefit!

Cute talks

Kids never lie. true story. Be careful.
Mommy: Caleb, what are you eating? (it's almost dinner time and he cant have snacks!)
Caleb: krupuk
Mommy: daddy, did u give him krupuk?
Daddy: no answer (either didn't hear me or he simply didn't want to answer OR pretend he didn't hear me!!!! @_@)
Mommy: Caleb who gave you krupuk?
Caleb: DADDY!!!

aha!
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kids are simply pure and naive.

Mommy: Caleb, why are you wearing the same pyjamas for 3 days?
Caleb: Daddy (with finger pointing at his daddy, meaning "it's daddy who make me wear this mommy!)

Lol

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One evening, we just came back from our family outing and once we reached home, Caleb was directly walking to his fave red chair and sit on it, then he was doing this 'pat-pat' to his legs.
Mommy: what are you doing?
Caleb: tired!

I am so amazed that he understood well what tired means. and how he pat his legs as in doing a massage!
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We just set up our christmas tree at night after Caleb slept. And did a little decor in the house. Put some ornaments on everyone's door.
In the morning when Caleb woke up, he noticed there was something different in the living room. He ran to the tree and saw the light and said "woww...NICE!!"
and he noticed that every door has a decoration on it and he comment on every door the same thing "woww...nice!"
:D

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Yesterday he purposely played with our christmas tree ornament till it fell down. Luckily it didn't break. He knew he just did something he was not allowed, so he took the ornament and hid it behind his back...then he told everyone "no no no" while still holding that ornament behind him.
HAHA...Of course we knew he was hiding something! Really couldn't scold him after that.

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One day we had my pyjamas and my hubby's clothes folded and a hanger lying on the bed.
Caleb went in and saw..so he took my clothes and indicating that it was "mommy", and my hubby's clothes as "daddy" and when he came to the hanger, he said "ibu!" and went to the kitchen to pass the hanger to my maid.
he knew exactly which thing belongs to who!
ok..i tell u one secret...he sometimes open our laundry basket and sort out which one is mommy's and daddy's underwear!! OMG... where did he learn to differentiate that?!!
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readers,

which one is your fave story among all that is above? :)

The nicest milestone

I remember when caleb was a baby, I always excitedly wait for the next milestone. For him to get his head strong enough to do tummy time, for him to sit on hiw own, for him to crawl, cruise and so on.

But friends, I have come to my 19th month of having Caleb..I tell you...
the most joyful and fun milestone to us are:
1. When Caleb took his first step.
Babies have different milestones. Some can crawl first than the others, some can cruise first and so on... but if he walks earlier, he becomes independent earlier than others.
I am grateful Caleb's first steps was quite early: 12th month. And so he mastered walking and running earlier than most others. So saving my energy..I don't need to carry him everywhere on a longer period, considering that he'd get heavier.

2. When Caleb starts to talk!!!
this is amazing! when he starts to understand whatever you say and start communicating with u..life's just easier and more fun. It's so funny to hear his replies to your questions :D

I love these 2 milestones and grateful that Caleb masters this earlier. :)

I love kids!

Most of my office building floors are actually occupied by childcare. I actually never come to talk to one of the kids there although they visit my floor everyday. I assume they have some activity on the 6th floor and then they go down to my floor (5th) to take the lift down back to their classes (there is no lift on the 6th floor).

This morning I was standing in front of the glass door because my room's air con was being serviced, so I wait outside...then those kids ran down to my floor and to their surprise there was someone behind this glass door, which is me!
I know they always knock on this door..but noone attend to them because I will always be inside my room. Anyway, they do is for fun only..so I dont think it's necessary to open the door and let them in.
But since today I was there, I open the door..and they were surprised..but a happy surprised because instead of got scared to see a starnger, they smiled and said Hi...and one by one eagerly wanted to ask me question and wanted to know who I am.
They were so sweet and funny and cute.
I'm glad they were not scared or shy..that means I must have the face that children like, right? hahaha..

To think of that short moment with them...I know I love kids. I love them and I'm glad I have one to my own. I never regret having Caleb alhtough I do face many challenges in raising him. I was a full time stay at home mother...well, it was tough i tell u...
and I am just glad that I WANTED to have Caleb. He is not an accident. He is someone that I want despite people telling me.."dont rush..u just got married, enjoy" or "wait til u are financially stable". Maybe they are right, I should wait. But u know what...even IF they are right, I DID NOT regret to want to get pregnant and now having Caleb.

I love you my lil boy.
remember this... you are wanted. I always believe that it is important for every child to realize that his parents want him and love him. He needs to know. and I will always make sure he knows.

my child's angel

Sometimes, er..no, alot of times when I leave Caleb at home, I do feel worried. Not because I don't trust my maid. But I know that being a toddler, he is prone to accidents - name it: falling down and hurt his lip badly, bang his head, etc..many can happen..and the thought of it is scary enough.
No moms while outside/at work or come home wish to receive bad news.

I realize that even I as his own mom is not perfect. He sometimes still falls down under my supervision. I learn not to blame myself for being lack of attention in watching over my son. I realize too that not all bad things happen because of other people's mistakes...not our hubby nor maid. hey, we are having an active toddler here...

But I'm glad there is one thing I can do and all parents are advised to do, which is: to always pray for your children. Lay your hands on them and bless them in the mighty name of Jesus.

This morning I found this verse:

“Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven." matt 18:10

Their angels.
Yes. My son has his own angel guarding him. That is how precious my son is to God that He sent His angel to watch over my son and this angel never leaves him, NEVER!
and so I know my son is in good Hands. :)

Dear hubby,

Dear hubby,

Honey...today I miss you so much!

and I know you always read my blog.

I just want to say that I love you :)
and I never regret to give my life to you when I said "I do" on our holy matrimony.

We will go through all the joy and storms together...we'll pull it through!

and on this ordinary day(not our birthdays, not anniversary..just one ordinary day)..I would like to say:
"love youuuu alwaysssss"
muachhh^^


wifeyyy

Independent Playtime

Training our babies to have independent playtime is a MUST, and we do it since they are very young, meaning since newborn, starting as short as 3 mins and then prolong the time as they grow up.

Why is it important?
1. to teach the baby to be independent and not dependent on us all the time
2. to give us some time alone to do what we need to do, this is esp important for stay at home moms!

How we do it?
Always leave your baby in a safe place, like a playpen or his cot.
I left Caleb to play alone on his play mat when he still couldn't move alot and then moved him to his fisher price bouncer seat with seat belt, and when he started cruising, I let him play on his cot.

To be honest, I still feel that I hadn't done it well..or as good as I have expected...especially during teething period and separation anxiety period (10-18m), Caleb was so dependent on me and insisting his mommy to be on his sight.

But as he grows up, now 19 months old, I see him having his independent playtime more often and longer than usual. He can just play alone in his room or in the living room. and when he does a good independent playtime, I know I shouldn't disturb him. He has his privacy to be respected. and I'm proud of him.

I know a 4 year old boy who still demands to be accompanied everytime he plays.
Hmm I surely don't want that. There should be family time where we all hang out together, mommy and son time, daddy and son bonding time and also independent time. they all have to balance.

Ever since Caleb was a baby, everytime I go back to Indo, people often surprised on how I raise my son, that I sometimes left him to play alone on the floor...
First, in my country...most people don't allow babies on the floor until they are 7 months old. so all the time babies would spend their playtime on someone's arms or bed.
(fyi, the benefit of letting your babies to be on floor is that they learn to roll over, sit, cruise, crawl and walk faster! caleb walked when he was 12m old while most boys in Indo walk at 14-15m)
Secondly, people are soooo afraid that their babies will get hurt, fall down and so on... they are afraid of hearing cries...once the baby cries, they pick up and carry him...
well, do u know that teaching babies to control emotions, soothe himself, learn to be careful after a fall or a bump is a skill that they have to develop? and it is our job to teach them. But we can't never teach them if we are too cautious and all the time carrying them and make all efforts to not let them cry or feel frustrated whenever they can't stack their blocks toy.
Moreover, our babies will someday have to deal with life: disappointment, anger, frustration, broken heart, pain....they need to deal with it...again, it is our job to teach them the skill.

Today, I was in the bathroom and my maid was in the kitchen, Caleb was in the living room playing alone...and my friend who just in time arrived in my house was surprised enough to see Caleb ALONE in living room. She asked "why is Caleb alone here", as if something was not right and not supposed to be this way. ehem... I believe she got the idea from our country's culture where she and I were raised that way too :)

and when she thought it was something not right...I thought to myself "so what's wrong with that?" :)

The candy

A few days ago I thought to myself "I'm glad that up to now I haven't given any sweets to caleb, it's not good for his teeth". I do give him some biscuits that contain sugar but to me eating a candy is like eating nothing but all sugar! so I forbid that...(at least until he learns how to brush teeth properly)

Until yesterday..

when I found out that my maid gave him FOX mint candy!!
OMG...

she said it was a tiny bit of candy coz she broke it into pieces before giving it to my son.
but it's not the amount that matters. it is the experience of tasting a candy that matters to me.

Oh..
*speechless*

note: to those who read this, if you happen to meet my maid..dont say anything to her about it.
I have talked to her (nicely but meant my words well!) and..I hope she got my point!

Lessons I learned

I have promised myself that I want to give something for Caleb when he turns 18 months. I have a few lists in my mind and I think that they are nice presents. But to tell you honestly, some of my presents which I think good and interesting enough...apparently were not that interesting to Caleb. Among all the toys that he has now, only a few he likes to play with everyday. Others he only play randomly and seldomly.

And so it has come to my mind that no matter how a parent wants the best for her kids, she doesn't always know exactly what's best. Unlike our God...He really beats all the parents in the world for He knows exactly which one is the best that will make us happy!

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Yesterday I was window shopping in children department store. When looking for a toy, I make sure I choose the one that's suitable for my son's age. I don't want to give something that is too difficult for him to handle and will only frustrate him or something too simple that will bore him and lose his interest.

and then there's this voice in my heart: and so is God. Sometimes we wonder why we have not receieved what we've been praying about. I believe it's just a matter of time. Because God wants to give us at the appropriate time when we are ready so that we can handle it well and be really happy for that.

Are you hurt?

A dear sister has sent me her testimony today. I feel really blessed and really moved my heart.
Here's what she shared to me:

Shalom,

Senang sekali buat aku berbagi setiap kejadian, sekalipun itu merupakan kejadian sederhana , namun sangat berkesan di hatiku.

Tadi pagi2 sekali, aku sudah bangun, menyeterika seragam sekolah anak2 ku. Pagi ini, tidak seperti biasanya anak2 ku pun bangun lebih awal daripada semestinya. Joshua, yang kecil, memberitahukan suamiku bahwa dia harus tiba di sekolah jam 6.30 am. Dia sudah janji dengan teman2 nya untuk ketemu lebih awal di sekolah. Aku sendiri jujur, tidak mempercayai janji teman2 nya ( maklum, namanya juga anak2 ). Ternyata, ketika jam menunjukkan pkl 6.30, aku baru saja siap2 pakai sepatu hendak mengantar dia ke sekolah. Langsung dia menunjukkan raut muka yang tidak happy, karena dia berharap suamiku akan mengantar dia ke sekolah by car. Tapi, suamiku masih dalam keadaan kurang sehat pagi tadi, jadi aku tidak mengijinkan dia mengantar Joshua.

Joshua menunjukkan marahnya kepadaku. Dia tidak menunggu aku untuk berdoa buat dia ( seperti biasa, setiap pagi sebelum berangkat ke sekolah aku selalu berdoa, memberkati anak2 ku ) tapi langsung turun ke bawah rumah. Aku pelan2 turun dan berdoa buat dia di pinggir jalanan mobil, sekalipun tidak ada respon, kecuali marah kepadaku. Sepanjang jalan dari rumah menuju ke sekolah dia tidak mau dituntun. Bahkan dia melangkah kira2 satu meter lebih jauh dari langkahku. Sepanjang jalan dia menunjukkan sikap marahnya kepadaku. Aku cuma diam..dalam hati, aku mengucap syukur kepada Tuhan untuk hari yang baru, itu lebih baik tentunya ..Sikap marahnya tidak mendapat tempat sedikitpun di hatiku. Bahkan ketika sampai di sekolah, jarak dia dan aku semakin menjauh. Dia tidak menoleh ke arahku, bahkan ketika aku mengucapkan "God bless you, Jo ".. Namun aku tidak marah kepadanya.

Sepanjang jalan, aku berkata2 kepada Tuhan.. "Tuhan, mungkin sikap anakku terhadap aku salah, tapi aku memaafkan dia.. Tuhan, aku mohon, Engkaupun mengampuninya, karena dia tidak mengerti apa yang dia lakukan terhadapku. Aku mengasihinya, Tuhan, dan aku ingin dia menyadari apa yang baru saja dia perbuat terhadap ku.. supaya dia tidak kehilangan sukacitanya hari ini di sekolah..Sepanjang jalan aku memberkati anakku..

Sampai aku di rumah, suamiku mangatakan, ada beberapa missed call, tapi setelah diangkat, telp nya diputus. Setelah suamiku mengatakan demikian, handphone bunyi, dan itu dari Joshua. Ternyata Joshua mencoba telp aku beberapa kali dari public phone di sekolah. Suamiku memberikan handphone tsb kepadaku.." Mum..sorry ya mum.. yang tadi sorry ya mum.." Nadanya seperti mau menangis.. I know my son very well.. Aku cuma menjawab, " nga pa2, Jo..Mami sudah memaafkan kamu dari tadi.." Kita sama2 bersukacita mengakhiri pembicaraan singkat di telepon. Dan dia sudah melupakan apa yang barusan terjadi. Dia happy sekali.

Aku cuma mengatakan kepada suamiku, " Praise God..Tuhan berbicara kepadanya. Joshua telah melakukan apa yang semestinya. Tidak membiarkan dia kehilangan damai dan sukacita, tapi menyelesaikan nya. Dia melakukan bagiannya. Sehingga dia bebas dari rasa bersalah yang menuduh. God is good. I praise God.

Friends, kalau mungkin ada orang lain yang saat ini membuat engkau marah, entah orang tuamu, saudaramu, teman baikmu, ,"..ampunilah.." Karena firman Tuhan mengajar kita, " jangan membalas kejahatan dengan kejahatan, tetapi dengan kebaikan.." Jangan mengutuk, tapi berkatilah.. Dengan mentaati firman Tuhan, secara tidak langsung , kita telah memberi kesempatan orang lain untuk menyadari kesalahan mereka dan menyelesaikan nya, yaitu waktu kita mengampuni mereka dan memberkati mereka.

Friends, kalau engkau mungkin secara tidak sengaja menyakiti hati orang lain, baik suami atau istri, orang tua, sahabat atau siapapun, jangan menunda waktu untuk mengakui dan minta maaf.. Secara tidak langsung, engkau sedang memberkati diri sendiri. Karena dengan mengakui kesalahan dan minta maaf, engkau sebenarnya sedang berbuat baik untuk dirimu sendiri. Engkau sedang mengambil kembali sukacita itu bagi dirimu sendiri. Nama Tuhan akan dimuliakan dalam hidupmu.

Friends, kiranya short sharing ini memberkati mu. God bless you!

I love you,

Lusy


I pray that when given the same situation, I can act and pray the same thing for my son.
May Jesus bless me with wisdom to become a good mom and wife according to His criteria.

Can't get enough of you, son!

I'm flattered with the fact that I am my son's fave person! Seeing him running with giggles to hug me makes me feel like I am loved and needed.and I love him even more too. Now I begin to understand why God says "I tell u the truth, unless u change n become like little children, u will never enter the kingdom of heaven" matthew 18:3

I wrote this on my FB and twitter.
It is true...I feel so flattered that no matter what the situation, with me going to work and all, my position to caleb has never changed. I am still his fave person! I love to see him running with giggles to hug me...I love the way he calls looking for me "mamma....mamma..."
I love the fact that I am the one who comforts him the most when he cries.
I love the way he hugs me tightly

I just love him so much...

I believe that God in heaven will love us so much and will be pleased if we come to Him with the heart of a little child like caleb. To allow Him to have the biggest space in our heart, to make Him our most fave, to call Him in needs and in seek of comfort. I bet He wont even wait to help you and to give you what you want.

rabbit

This is the very 1st picture that Caleb had drawn by himself.
he may just anyhow draw without the purpose that he really wants to draw this.
but what amazed me is that after he finished drawing..he looked at this picture and then he pointed at it and said "rabbit!"
I thought to myself it might be just another scribbles...
but OMG...when i saw the picture..it was a RABBIT!!!
oh..I'm so proud of you!!

Happy 18 months!

Caleb is now 18 months old and up til now he can communicate quite well for his age.
I notice that he understands and speaks English alot more than Indonesian.
He understands instruction well and actually understands almost everything I say.

If I tell him to turn off the tv, he will do exactly like I say.
If I tell him to off the dvd, he will do so...

his ability to memorize things are incredible too...not like when he was a baby who really has a short term memory..he can now remember better..esp to where he put his things/toys.
he now has preference to..esp about which shoes/slippers he wants to wear and which dvd he wants to watch (mostly Hi5). he is also learning to put his own shoes and learn to self feed.

I am a proud mommy to have him as my son! :D

Moral Education

Having a helper/nanny in our family for the past 2 months have taught me that it is best to raise our kids ourselves. I have some beliefs and knowledge that may differ from others and I hope that my son will learn good and true moral education.

Last month I overheard my helper scolded our TV cabinet because Caleb bang his head to it while trying to reach a ball. She scolded " bad cabinet!! ".
I didn't agree and approve that..neither have I ever blamed a non living thing just because my son had bumped to it. I would rather tell my son that he needs to be careful next time.

Today, I am not feeling well..down with flu symptoms and really want to rest. So I told my helper to take my son to the playground so I can rest a while. But Caleb still miss her mommy so much, he didn't want to be separated from me. So my helper told him "come on let's go..see..daddy is home already..he's at the door!". Of course, hearing 'daddy is home' had distracted my son enough to make him run to the living room...just to find there was noone there.
I hate this. I don't like lying. So far I remember I never lie to my son. and I don't like the idea of someone else planted a seed of lie to my son. It is because we lied to our kids, then they know how to lie when they're bigger.
So I just told my helper.." don't lie to him".

When I was in Jakarta, I remember one incident where my sis in law talked over to my nephew who at that time refused to take shower and go to school. My sis in law said "you have to be a good boy, otherwise mr policeman will come and arrest you...you don't want that to happen, don't u?"
I don't know if my nephew really believed her or not...but he then took shower and went to school with a grumpy face.

I have always thought and believed that kids (and babies) are smart. We are not supposed to treat them like they don't know anything.
I have always believed that Caleb understands what I'm talking about since he was a baby...and these days I see him able to communicate and follow instruction better than other kids I know.
If we choose to believe that kids/babies are not smart enough that they just believe your lies, well...that's what you'll get. It may save your situation for that moment, but I don't think it's a good moral education for them in future if you planted lies.

But I guess what just happened between my helper and my son, that would happen again...we are living in this world who belong the the king of lies, we face this. I pray that I will never have to lie to my son or anyone else...and may I be given the wisdom to educate my son and to help him deal with people's lies and that he will grow to be an honorable man of God.

My favourites

These are my fave list of "Caleb's lil actions":

1. He will say 'amen' whenever he hears me saying "in Jesus mighty name". Sometimes he will even say amen before I finish my prayer :D
the point is..he knows that we are praying!

2. He knows where's Jesus! If I ask him..where's Jesus? He will point up..and I will say "yes, He is in heaven". and If I ask him where's Holy Spirit, he will touch his chest..and I will say "yes, in your heart" :)

3. Every morning 8am and evening 5pm..he will automatically take his slippers and ask mommy to put them on because he knows for sure it's playground time! There's one time..we had a playdate at my friend's place..it was 5.15pm and he went to take his slippers and knock the front door, telling me it's time to go home coz he wants to play at playground *lols*

4. He makes sure he says bye-bye to mommy before he's going to playground. Yesterday I wasn't paying attention coz I was reading. So he called me "mamma...mamma.." to get my attention...and then he said bye-bye and kissed me. awww...so sweet...

5. Whenever I say "no..no..no" to him..he will repeat after me "no..no..no" and immitate how i shake my point finger :D

6. Whenever he sees some flyers, brochures below our mailbox downstaits..he will clean it up n throw them into the bin!

7. He is getting more friendly than before. He will smile to strangers and say HI and BYE.

8. Every morning he will join all those ah-ma (elderly) and do excercise with them...those ah-mas surely have a good laugh watching my son...I'm glad he brings joy to them every morning :)

9. He likes to carry heavy things now..he will say " heavy..heavy.." but still insist to carry it!!

10. he likes to drink tea!! he will go "ahhh...ahhh" as if the tea is very hot, although it is actually not hot at all..

thank You for our health

Being physically and mentally healthy is really something we need to be thankful everyday.
As a parent to see my son gets flu is heart breaking enough, I couldn't imagine something worse than that.

I have read articles about autism, hyperactive and read a blog and watched a movie about parents with autism kid. Wow..my heart cried for those parents and kids. They must have gone through alot of struggles, shed alot of tears, drained emotionally and not to mention the expenses on the treatment.

and today I witness with my own eyes..an autism kid.. a 6 year pretty girl on the MRT. I wouldn't notice she is an autist if she wasn't yelling, keep wanting to bite her finger and poke her nose.
She is one pretty girl u know...
She was sitting in the midle of two filipino maids...wow her mom has 2 maids to baby sit her..can u imagine how costly that is! I bet she pays very expensive for the helpers...otherwise who would want to stay if not for the high pay..
As I looked at her...I can imagine what her parents are going through..it must had been hard when the first time they found out that their daughter has autism. and the girl too..she couldn't grow up normally like other kids do. :(
I try my very best not to stare or look at her whenever she made noise or screamed.
I know and understand this. When Caleb is having those mini-fits on MRT coz he doesnt want to sit still on his stroller, I will feel so uneasy if people stare at us...with or without the judgement from them..well, hey what do you know about my struggles or my kid? you're not in my shoe...so pls dont make it more difficult right?

To help myself get distracted from looking at her, I prayed. yes..I prayed for her parents that God will give them strength and the patience that they need to raise their daughter. and I prayed that God will make this pretty girl to come to know Jesus someday..despite her development disorder.

Jesus loves you, pretty girl..

when is the 2nd one coming?

I have alot of people asking me this question. Maybe they see Caleb is bigger now, they wonder if I plan to have #2.

The answer is....

NO......T

YET.

it will only happen when Caleb is about 3.5 years..then I will start to plan for #2.

Why?

OMG...I love this stage so much! I love Caleb being 1.5 year old..he just has too many cute actions and words. I don't know if other toddlers at this age really give you a colorful life full of joy and laughter like Caleb does, but Caleb is one wonderful person of mine and I really want to enjoy him so much and I'm not willing to share my attention and love to another baby right now.
I do pray and tell God about it, but of course if by all means He still wants to trust me another baby sooner than I expect..I will love her (hopefully it's a girl!) too, of course!

FInally...

Yes...finally I am able to blog again...and I have a sudden rush to post 3 topics today.

Firstly, I'm going to update regarding the helper and Caleb.
After 1 month+, I see a good improvement which is...ibu now can put Caleb to sleep and she is able to feed him. BUT...caleb still refuses to receive his milk bottle from ibu. He wants mommy or daddy to be the one passing him the bottle.

They have actually bonded quite well now...it is that well that makes me worried if mommy is no longer be Caleb's fave person in his world now.
But thankfully...it is not proven! yippee...!! :D

I am still his no 1 person!!
I knew this when Caleb was having fever and very cranky due to post MMR-V vaccination, he only find his most comfort in me - his mom!
and then I found out from hubby that sometimes after he comes home from playground in the morning..he will run home and call mommy and search all around the house. Of course he won't find me coz I have already left to office by that time. The good thing is he doesn't cry. He will look for me and after he realized I'm not home..he's fine.
And on weekend when i'm not working, I noticed that when he wakes up from his nap, he will also look for me. I asked my husband if he looks for me too on weekdays...my husband said yes it happens sometimes.
and then one more thing: there are times when he only wants to be with mommy, don't try to take him away from me..he will get..like really mad at you! :D

thankful

We had a great weekend.
On saturday we went swimming and caleb was really excited..he kept pointing on the float and said "miming..miming" (*swimming)
and once he saw the pool he got more excited that he just want to run into the pool before we got to undress him haha..

on Sunday after church..we had a great and fun fellowship with dear friends.
and really Thank God that we finally able to sit and talk for the entire 'cafe-ing time'. Neither me or hubby need to attend to cranky Caleb because he is bored. My helper really did a good job entertaining Caleb and accompanying him here and there...so Caleb had fun too..mommy and daddy also happy :) everyone had fun...

Oh Caleb and his cute actions never fail to make us laugh.
He is now the little Mr.Hygiene in the family. Whenever he sees rubbish...paper, cans, box..he will pick it up and throw it into the dust bin. Last week, we passed by the mailbox downstairs and saw so many flyers and brochures scattered on the floor...he just went there and pick it up one by one and threw it into the dust bin. We all cheered him on the last paper he picked..and he also cheered and clapped together with us :D

I am now in office and missing him so much!

Happy Husband

I was listening to pastor's sermon cd at home just now and Caleb woke up twice. He walked out the room...first with crying and second looking confused and rubbed his eyes..he must have wondered if he was in church hahaha..or if pastor visited us??

Anyway, I am happy I get the cd coz we missed out this good sermon because we went back to indo. The first sermon's title is happy husband, second one is happy wife. Today I listened the happy husband (not finished yet due to Caleb waking up).
But I like what pastor said. He said that a man's success is determined by the level of his wife's happiness. If a man is rich and all but his wife is living and feeling miserably then you cannot say he is a success man. Pastor also encouraged all husbands to treat and appreciate their wives. To bring us to nice restaurant, to buy us some make ups, to make sure we eat well and dress well...
Because you will grow old together..and someday your children will leave you, and it will just be the two of you. So make sure your wife will look good and live well...(And she will only look good if she is well taken care since you both are young).

I do not write this in a hope that my hubby will read this and get a clue of how he is supposed to treat me (I know he will read this post). No...in fact, I want to say thank you for being a good husband and has done all the things that pastor said before you have even listened to this sermon.

I love you, honey..I'm thankful to have you.
Good night..(can you stop playing WE now? =_=)

my prayer

Caleb is almost 17m now..
and I love this age and this phase so much!
he just understands so much and watching him is always fun.
One minute he can be dancing..one minute he grabs a broom and help me clean the floor and so many things he does now..and everything he does is cute!

My boy may not be the cutest baby but he is cute! haha..cute and chubby and definetely cute in all his action. he is smart and funny just like his daddy :)
I pray that God will use him always. That when people with all their problems, when they see my baby and his cute actions..they will for a few secs have a good laugh and forget what bother them.
May he always spread the joy and become blessing to the people around him :)

FTWM vs SAHM

Deciding to be a FTWM (full time working mother) or SAHM (stay at home mother) can be hard because you don't know what's going to happen if you choose this or that. It does take some risks. Thanks to one of my oldest friend (Merilyn) who is now pregnant and might have this consideration on her mind right now..It has inspired me to write about this topic.

My view may not be perfect solution or the best guideline but I post this with no other purposes but to help you out.

so here it goes...

You may consider to be a FTWM (full time working mom):
1. If you know for sure you are a career woman type. You just love to work, reach your target, being in a competitive environment, you love the feeling of your adrenalines at work. Well, some woman, like my mom for example, their calling is to be on a career track and they just do well on their jobs. Don't feel guilty for being a great career woman, even if you suck being a housewife. and don't be afraid that your child will bond more to your maids rathen than with you. a child will know who is her/his parents. I am a living example. My mom never on the 'hands on' taking care of me when I was a baby. My baby sitter did her job. But I grew up closer to my mom than my baby sitter (my bb sitter is still with us til now..tho she doesn't bb sit anymore, she is the chef in my house now). To me..it's just a matter of how you manage your time to spend some quality bonding time with your child when you're not at work.

2. If you are worried about your family financial situation if you quit your job, then it's probably best to stay at work.

Here are some suggestion (re: your baby care) if you decide to be FTWM:
1. Hire a helper/maid
2. Hire a nanny (in singapore you can also hire a nanny but of course it's expensive)
3. You may put your child in childcare
(you may need to request for a tour of the childcare before you decide to choose. Make sure the care taker there really cares for your child. Ask how many babies one person is allowed to handle. the smaller group, the better. Also, check on its hygine too. Usually a good childcare will maintain cleanliness and check on every child, making sure none of them are sick before they go to class..this to prevent you child to fall sick often. Because babies immune are not strong built yet. Oh lastly, choose the one that is nearby your home or your work place so that it saves your travelling time and cost)
4. If your parents or relatives stay in the same country/city and willing to take care of your child...why not?

You may consider to be SAHM (stay at home mothers):

1. If you know for sure you will love your job as a housewife.
2. You just can't trust or can't find a good maid/nanny, no parents or relative stay nearby.
3. You want to bond more with your child
4. Your family will survive with single income comes from your husband.
5. You want to eliminate maid/nanny/childcare cost

Some other tips:

If you are now pregnant and working and still couldn't decide whether to quit your job after your labour. Don't rush your decision. You have your 3 months maternity leave. During these 3 months you can see and observe yourself whether you'll be good at taking care of your baby and stay at home. Some mothers just can't wait to go back to work.

If you love being SAHM but worry about financial issues, you may consider:
1. rent one of the rooms in your house so you can get extra income without leaving your baby.
2. start online business
3. freelance job

If you love working but you don't want to leave you baby too long, you may consider a part time job (half day), but then you have to find a way who is going to take care of your baby while you work. Childcare has half day programs, if you are interested.

If you really plan to hire a maid, my suggestion is to hire one before your baby reach 7m or max is 10m, that is before the separation anxiety kicks in (baby refuse strangers). The older your baby is, the harder it will be for him/her to adjust to new person in your house.

My view towards both FTWM and SAHM:
I believe both have their own challenges. FTWM struggles to find time for their baby while SAHM deal with isolation, losing their 'me' time and so on.
I have spent almost 1.5 year being a full time SAHM. I tell you more about it since I've been there. You will feel like you are so isolated because you spend too many time just you and baby. You feel like you can't do the things you used to do. Routine is your life. From waking up til you to bed, it's the same. There are alot of sacrifices you make. this is why a career woman will find it difficult to be SAHM. One working mother who spent a week being SAHM because her maid went back to indo confessed in the forum that she couldn't do this and really can't wait to go back to work.
But I tell you..despite those scarifices, it's worth it because you will find joy to be the first person (Always) to witness your baby's milestones. When he first roll over, eat, crawl, stand up and walk etc. And it is your privilege that your baby thinks that you are his only world!!! he will love you and want you so much..all the time!! haha...

I suggest if you SAHM, involve yourself in a motherhood forum, find some mommies whose babies at the same age as your baby and arrange some playdates. It feels good knowing you are not alone and that some mothers feel what you feel.

I have now come back to the work place. Although I take part time job, but I feel this is the best for me. I honestly tell you I love working! but I really want to have enough time with Caleb. I love to be able to teach him many things and see how fast he improves everyday. It makes me proud being a good mother. For now this is the best solution for me...part time job, hiring a maid I can trust, and still be on track on the motherhood thingy.

I hope you make the right decision :)

Officially back at work

How do i feel?

hmmm....biasa aja tuh...ngga excited juga ngga sedih2 banget..totally biasa banget.
not nervous too...Coz 5 years ago I worked there and I still remember what my job scope was and now is pretty much the same except that there are more accounting jobs to do.
Eventhough I was a total SAHM (stay at home mother) for 1.5 years, I'm quite confident I still got what it takes to be in the working line.. ---> not trying to boast but anyway I'm saying this also because I want to prove myself that I am right about what I say.

But I miss Caleb!!!
I was sitting on my office when I suddenly stared at a familiar cutey face nearby the PC..which is my son's picture :D
I can't help smiling at the photo...really miss him!
which is why...I want to arrive on time at office so that I can go home on time too..

Until now..I still consider part time job is the best for me.
I can't imagine working full time + the travelling time..that would leave me only 2-3 hours to see Caleb at home...that's sad! and that's not what I want.
I only want to work full time if the office is at my house! hahaha...

oh about Caleb..
he's doing fine being left at home with ibu. So far we stick to the plan that hubby will take care of him til his lunch time then he will leave to office, leaving Caleb for about 1 hour til I come home around 2pm.
we haven't tried training ibu and Caleb for nap and meal time. we decided to give them some more time to bond and then try again. But I observe that both have actually been doing pretty good in bonding in these 2 weeks. I hope soon this matter will settled!

the adjustment - week 1

Caleb was crying everytime ibu wanted to bring him down to the playground.
but once he was at the playground, he got distracted and forgot his mommy :)

But...it was still hard for both of us..
I don't like him crying so badly everytime he got separated from me.
I wished he knew that it is okay to leave mommy because after a while he can see mommy again..and that he will still have lots of fun eventhough mommy is not with him.

But one day he came home from playground, running to me happily.
I told him "see how happy you are after playing at playground..so next time don't cry when you leave mommy okay"

and since that day...he never cried anymore...when ibu said "let's go downstairs", he will take his shoes and I will put them on for him..then he will wave and say bye-bye to me (this is cute!), and go out and close the door.
I am so relieved.

Last monday I even tried to leave Caleb alone with ibu at home..just to see how it went..if he would cry looking for mommy..or if he would just be fine.
it turned out..he was fine. he didn't cry.
the only problem is that...he still refused to be put down to sleep with ibu.
he also refused to be fed by ibu.

so I'm still getting nervous about coming back to work because these 2 aren't settled well yet.
and it's just another 5 days left before I work! sigh...
My back up plan is to take turn with hubby...so I will go to work in the morning and be back by 2. While hubby will leave house after he feeds Caleb, which means around 1pm.
We will settle his nap and his meal before we leave him with ibu.
But my plan is to keep trying on training ibu so that Caleb can take a nap and have meal with ibu.
I know ibu is nervous too because of her previous failure...sigh...but this has to worked! please..please..please...

The copycat is in action AGAIN!

OMG

I can't believe this.

When Caleb started to walk, I wrote this in my BB status: there's a toddler walkin around in my house
and the next day I changed into : a toddler in da house

at that time noone copied anything I wrote about Caleb.
Well, yes of course...because her son still couldn't walk yet at that time.

But recently I read her post about her son started to walk already and guess what she wrote in FB?
yup..exactly the same thing: there's a toddler walking around in my house
and today her BB status is: a toddler in da house

I can't believe this!!!
that means she read what I wrote and memorized it and she had even planned that she would steal these words once her son could walk!!!

But this time I just took it lightly..not so emotionally like last time..
(cuma ngga habis pikir aja...herann ada orang kayak gitu! hahaha)

"tetu"

Caleb is always a fan of biscuits, cookies and basically...SNACKS!
He can eat alot of it!!

Today he tried to show me how nice a biscuit is!
He was eating it and suddenly put the biscuit on my mouth and said "Eat! Eat!"
So I took a bite and guess what he said: "tetu", which means: thank you

Ha! I can't believe he expected his mommy to say thanks to him for sharing his biscuit!
hello mister...Mommy gave you that biscuit! hahahahhaha..

Caleb's Vocabs development

Caleb's vocabs by 16m

English

1. Car
2. Cow
3. duck
4. dog
5. cake
6. fish (*fi)
7. robot (*bot)
8. apple (*ple)
9. flower (*wowe)
10. turtle
11. clock (*cok)
12. bear
13, lion (*arrgghh)
14. pig
15. nest (*ne)
16. egg
17. drum
18. heart
19. key
20. moon
21. pants
22. ant
23. tree
24. banana (*nana)
25. ball
26. bike (*bak)
27. train
28. pea
29. hat
30. bird
31. pig
32. ladybug (*bug)
33. tiger (*ger)
34. bee
35. butterfly (*ba ba)
36. truck
37. clown
38. star
39. owl
40. head
41. chest
42. go
43. bye bye
44. more
45. dont want
46. eat
47. milk
48. biscuit (*bik)
49. bottle (*baba)
50. spider (*spa)
51. daddy
52. mommy (*mama)
53. ibu (*buk)
54. Book
55. bible
56. uncle (*cle)
57. Alphabet: A and O
58. Numbers: 2 and 3
59. grandma (*ma)
60. grandpa (*papa)
61. our dogs name: chico, casey, zendo (*co, keci, dodo)^^
62. watermelon (*nemene)
63. caterpillar (*cepece)
64. no
65. yes (*ya)
66. yogurt (*gurt)
67. barney (*baba)
68. flashcard (*card)
69. cheese (*chee)
70. pampers (*pampie)
71. baby
72. girl


I know the last 2 words, he's really working so hard to say it and it really sounds cute when u hear him say these words!! :D
some of the words are also not perfectly pronounced, but most importantly is we understand what he means to say

Indonesian:
1. sudah (*dah)
2. bobok
3. enak (*nak)

Other than these words, he can actually understand many things that but he can't say.
Like when we ask him to put on his shoes, he will take his shoes and give them to me. Or he will dance when I ask him to dance.
he knows where is hand, teeth, toes, etc
he knows sun, leaf, grass, grapes,orange, elephant, etc though he can't say the word but he will point it correctly

we are still working on some more new vocabs
still practising ABC and numbers everyday
oh boy..we've alot to do! :)

Be Selfish

I have a friend who just gave birth 3 months ago and she is now a stay at home mother (SAHM).
When we were chatting on BBM (Blackberry Messenger), she told me how she felt guilty leaving her baby at her mom's place so that she could take a break window shopping at the mall. She felt that she was being selfish to satisfy her own need to have some 'me' time.

and this is what I said to her:

Dont feel guilty for being selfish. We-SAHM- need to be selfish sometimes. Our 'me' time is important so that we can keep our SANE in order to have a balanced life.
It is not good to be burned out. When we are tired emotionally, we tend to lose temper easily and get impatient to the people around us, including our baby.
SO don't feel guilty. Take a break. Be selfish when you get the chance to do so.
I also tell myself the same thing whenever I get the chance to spend some 'me' time..like during my recent trip to sby, I went to salon, shopping, facial...leaving hubby alone with Caleb at home.
I did feel guilty..but then I told myself...I hardly get this kind of chance..so let's be selfish this time and enjoy while I can. you deserve this. WE deserve this.

Anyway, a happy mom begets a happy baby.