Happy 4 months old Caleb!

I believe that when we have a baby, both joy and challenge will come into our lives.
I realize month by month I face different challenge to raise caleb.
But each moment, I believe, is to be treasured. Enjoy!
Because babies do GROW UP fast.
we'll miss these times - despite all the struggles we've been through
we will MISS this moment!

when you face struggles, preservere, be patient, endure with it
coz it will pass
Pray..coz it works!
Jesus is with you
so mothers, you're not alone
just enjoy your moments with your babies :)

happy 4 months old, Kay!
....mummy loves you...

four story books for caleb

I was wondering if i was wise to spend so much money on amazon.com to buy these story books for caleb. I was disappointed when I found out that the shipping cost is 100% of the total price of the 4 books!!! that means i paid double!
But once the books arrived, I fall in love with them.
So I read the first 2 books for caleb before his nap..and he LOVES it!
He keeps touching the book and say ouu..coo..etc hehehe..

Anyway, these are best sellers books in amazon.
for your recommendation:
brown bear brown bear what do you see- eric carle
the very hungry caterpillar - eric carle
goodnight moon - margareth wise
mister dog - little golden book

Happy reading, Happy bed time :)

REM and NON REM

There are two types of sleep:

REM (rapid eye movement sleep)
This is a light sleep when dreams occur and the eyes move rapidly back and forth. Although babies spend about 16 hours each day sleeping, about half of this is in REM sleep. Older children and adults sleep fewer hours and spend much less time in REM sleep.


Non-REM sleep:
Non-REM has 4 stages:


Stage 1 - drowsiness - eyes droop, may open and close, dozing


Stage 2 - light sleep - the baby moves and may startle or jump with sounds


Stage 3 - deep sleep - the baby is quiet and does not move

Stage 4 - very deep sleep - the baby is quiet and does not move

Babies may awaken as they pass from deep sleep to light sleep and may have difficulty going back to sleep in the first few months.

more information, please see:
source:http://askville.amazon.com/SimilarQuestions.do?req=newborn-cry-minutes-stop-crying

Period back!

Finally, right 1 month after I stopped breastfeeding, I got my menses back!
I realized it's exactly 1 year I never had menses..wooww..had a good time haha...but well, this coming back is a good thing too..I'll be worried if my period hasn't come back.
Anyway, with menses we can always check our ovulation period right..
remember that ovulation period is 14 days before the next month's menses (plus minus 4 days before and after the 'day') ..

til now..haven't decided what birth control I'm going to use hee..
jaga tanggal dulu dehhh...belom sempet ke gynae utk discuss..tapi dulu kata pak barnabas never use pills..as they make womb dry and bakal susah punya anak lagi..anyway pills bisa menyebabkan gemuk ato jerawatan..
IUD? people say better not use it unless we are sure enough we don't want any children anymore..
but so far, it's the safest to use??

Going to church is both a challenge and sacrifice

I am so happy with his babywise blog I found the other day! Because she has exactly the same thought as me about going to church.

You see...my church service is from 10-12..and we have to leave home by 9am and come back home the earliest by 1.30pm (mostly will reach at 2pm anyway). That means caleb will miss 2 naps! 2 naps for him is alot!!! and then with alot of people coming to see and play with caleb..that makes him become over stimulated..so when we reach home, not only he's exhausted but also over stimulated..can u imagine how cranky he is? I always have my struggle on sunday night...putting him to sleep on sunday night is always difficult.
That's why I got so pissed off with a friend who woke caleb in his sleep on last last sunday!!! Grrr....masih sebel banget kalo inget itu...gw udah nidurinnya susah..gendong slm 45 mins, eh baru gw taruh di kereta (strollernya gw tutup loh padahal!!!), pas nyampe gereja ada juga yang maen nyelonong ngagetin caleb - padahal keretanya ditutup loh!! suebeeelll buangetttt.... dan gara2 itu, caleb jd cranky...dan jadwalnya ngaco...akibatnya aku ngga bisa denger sermon..krn caleb rewel, ngantuk!! --> yakkk ini marah2 jadi pake indo deh nulisnya hahaha...

anyway..about this babywise blog..she gives many suggestions about going to church with baby.
and so I follow her...this morning, I wake caleb earlier (7am) so by 8.45 he'll be sleepy and he takes his 1st nap earlier than usual. the plan worked. he slept for 45 mins before going to church. At least he had his morning nap! It's so important not to miss the 1st nap. we took cab to church (hubby sacrificed money to save caleb's nap). so when we arrive in chruch, we enjoy the praise and worship. by 11.30 caleb was sleepy again and ready for his 2nd nap..so hubby put him to sleep outside..well, this is a sacrifice too..coz one of us has to miss half of the sermon.
the plan worked well...caleb was not as cranky as all the other sundays..coz he had his nap (Although only 45 mins of each nap). But even IF he is cranky after all the plan that we work through and finally I have to face him being cranky..that's just my sacrifice right..

so let all these sacrifice I make is for the glory of God :)

anyway, check this out for info about going to church with baby:
http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2008/05/church-weekly-disruption.html

My greatest sacrifice

Motherhood does change you alot and often requires your biggest sacrifice (especially those without any helper to take care of your child).

Since I become a mother, I have given up alot of things that I like to do..
For example, just because I want to make sure caleb has enough sleep, I would give up any outings that will take alot of his nap times. If he misses one nap, it's okay but not 2 naps in a day or else he'll become cranky. Anyway, to me caleb's sleep is very important as we all know that when they sleep well, they grow well too. And also when it comes to bedtime, I really want him to sleep in his room, not in a crowded place like malls...imagine yourself sleeping on the street where people walk by..I bet you won't have a good sleep too, right? maybe, when caleb is older and ready for a longer outing, I may take him..but not now..
For this reason, I am really sorry for not being able to come to erinna's and daniel's farewell dinner.
I really want to come..but I have caleb now..and he's my priority. This is what a mother has to sacrifice.

Before caleb was born, I loved going out and just hanging out with friends and be home by midnight. Sometimes I really miss those times. And even to just go out to the mall for 1-2 hours, just to have time for myself..it could not be possible this time. Sometimes I have planned it well but I may have to cancel because my hubby has to work late, or the timing just unfit caleb's schedule. There were once..I really don't know why but I just burst my tears just because I can't go to the mall to buy some things..I know it's not important..but I felt so dissapointed that I couldn't go..desperate enough to have some private time for myself. Again, a sacrifice I've to make. and the next day, I finally could go to the nearest mall to buy some presents for friends..and I have to rush coz I only have 1.5hour to do it and had to be home for caleb's bedtime.

I didn't call friends anymore to chit chat. Friends don't call me too. my sacrifice.
(lucky, got FB..so still updated for their latest news ^^)

I give up my singer duty in chuch music ministry. another sacrifice.

My first commission this year, I spend to buy caleb's stuffs. forget about buying clothes for myself. somehow I just loose the will to buy for myself. For me, I'm happy I can buy nice things for caleb :)

But today I am so relieved to hear pastor preached about whatever we do, we do for the glory of God, including what you do for your family, raising your child, etc.
I so agree with pastor! this mummy job actually takes more sacrifices than any kind of ministries I ever did in church. and truthfully, this is the kind of sacrifice that makes your spirit grows stronger as you kill more of your flesh. This is when you put others first than yourself. This is when you say NO to the things that you want for yourself. it's not easy, but I thank God I am a mother now and that I serve Him now in my true calling as a mother.

take one step back

Just found a wonderful blog which explains my questions- well, at least I think this could be my answer!!! yayyy^^

So..I send message to the blogger and told her about caleb case. and she replied me sooner than I thought. she said that it seems that caleb is not ready for a 4 hourly routine (she's also a tracy hogg's reader). I should go back to 3 or 3.5 hourly routine. well, that makes sense!! I think somewhere between last week and this week I misread caleb's sign. when he refused to finish his milk on 3 hourly routine, i thought that he he should be moved to 4 hourly routine. and after i read this blog, she mentioned that some babies in this 3-4months period may not be so hungry in the morning, so feed him on 4 hour duration in the morning but continue with 3 hourly for the rest of the day! well, bener bangettttt caleb pas pagi bangun tidur yang gak mau minum susu...kaya belom laper gitu...dan aku lgs buat kesimpulan..wah caleb skrg uda masuk ke 4 hourly schedule nehhh..

well. the blogger says..not all babies at 4 month old ready for 4 hourly routine..her own baby starts at 7 months old!! hmm yahh maklum lahh saya 1st time mother yg sangat tidak pengalaman dan belajarnya cuma dari buku..yah ngikutin textbook persis deehh hehehe...

anyway, this is what she says on her blog:
So how do you know if your baby is ready?

1. My first answer to that is, you will just know when your baby is ready. With both of my kids, they moved to 4 hours themselves, I didn't move them. I had to let them, but that is a different post.
2. Item 2. Baby should be STTN (sleeping through the night). By STTN I mean 12 hours with no feedings. The book, however, says 9-10 hours before moving to a 3.5 hour schedule. Watch your child and do what you think is best.
3. Item 3. Your baby will likely be taking 5 feedings a day between 7 AM and 7 PM (or 7:30-7:30, depending on your waketime) before you are ready for the 4 hour schedule. 4 hours means 4 feedings. You want to be sure your baby is physically ready. That is why I say don't push. Some women need to do 5 feedings if they are BF (breastfeeding). Watch yourself.
4. Your baby is always asleep when it is time to eat. This is the biggest sign. Items 2 and 3 are taken care of, and now you watch for item 4. By always I mean most of the time. Some babies (like my Brayden) will be able to have longer wake times and therefore will sleep later. Others (like my Kaitlyn) will have the same waketime length, but just sleep longer for naps. I just wouldn't move to a four hour schedule if the child wasn't sleeping well. If you are entertaining them before mealtime on a 3 hour schedule, imagine what it will be like if you extend it to four hours.
5. Baby isn't that hungry for each meal eating every three hours. They don't show interest in it.

Let's say your baby can go longer in the morning but not all day, what do you do? I say this is a sign that 4 hours is coming soon. Until then, let baby go 3.5 hours in the morning, then do 3 hours the rest of the day. You can do a combination 3-3.5 or even 3-4 hour schedule.
Don't feel pressured to move to a 4 hour schedule. Don't measure your success by it. Kaitlyn didn't move to 4 hours until she was almost 7 months old, and Brayden was older. They may have gone sooner with pushing, but I let them set the pace and we all were peaceful, happy and relaxed. Don't thrown one more thing into the mix to stress you and and cause you frustration.
-----------------------------------------------------
after reading this, I feel like there's a light of hope that this can be the solution..so tomorrow I'll take one step back! pray for my success!

source- http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/2007/12/when-to-move-to-4-hour-schedule.html

just naturally and eventually will get there..

I really cracked my head doing alot of research to solve this sudden habitual night waking.
this morning..I decided to go back to CIO (cry it out method) since I couldn't find anything else that seems to be the solution. Actually there's another way: PU/PD (pick up/put down) by tracy hogg.

what is PU/PD?
it is a technique to teach baby to fall asleep on their own, extend longer nap, fall back to sleep if they wake up in the middle of their sleep WITHOUT leaving the baby alone. cara ini emang lbh manusiawi yah...so..when the baby cries, you pick him up to calm him..once he is calmed, put him down..if he cries againm pick him and so on..it could go on and on from 20 pick ups til 100 pick ups!!

But I still decided to use CIO as it proves to be effective for so many people. but I know CIO sepertinya ngga manusiawi..tega amattt sama babynya..well, ngga juga lohh...CIO berat juga buat mummy-nya..coz it drains mothers emotions too..she can cry along with the baby!
I have a friend from singapore motherhood forum who used this technique since her baby came home from hospital, and her baby now sleeps well and can fall asleep on her own too!! I admire her!! but anyway, i know many indonesian mothers are against this. Adat timur masih ngga terbiasa pake cara orang bule gini..maklum di indo bisa pake pembantu/suster. The good thing is..at home cuma ada me n hubby..kalo ada my in laws, mungkin sampe skrg aku masih end up gendongin caleb mulu utk nidurin dia..

Anyway...for his 2nd nap, I tried CIO again. I also made up my mind later at night I'll be using this too if caleb suddenly wakes up (not for hunger). well, this time it lasted for total 45 mins with 4x check in. and those 45 mins..he was still crying out loud..and again I gave up! I went in and comforted him til he was asleep.
During this 1 hour nap, I just felt like I want to pray. and I really asked His wisdom so I would know what to do. I just want caleb to have enough sleep and milk so that he grows well.
And this is what I have in my heart during the prayer...that I should just let it all fall naturally in its time..caleb will fall asleep on his own when he is ready..he will eventually get there...and that word: NATURALLY...stucks in my heart. but i feel peace. so I dropped the CIO idea for tonight.
I believe there's power in a mother's prayer..and let God alone works... so I wont rely on any techniques!

New Sleeping Challenge!

Parenting is challenging! there's always new challenge...wahh really being a mother is not easy..I wish to fully focus on caleb, I wish I don't need to work but still earning money haha.. Now with my job starting already, I get so tired sometimes..mostly capek pikiran berujung capek badan hehe..

well, back to the topic..
iya nih duhh masalah sleeping kok datang silih berganti..
dulu masalah ngga mau ditaruh di ranjang, minta gendong mulu - case solved!
trus..masalah ngga bisa ketiduran, selalu nangis kayak orang berantem sebelom bobo - now has improved alot!
dan sekarang........ hux my caleb yg bisa sleep through the night sampe pagi..tiba2 3 hari ini kok bangun tiap jam 2-3 pagi..pertama aku kira habitual waking, hari pertama aku kasi paci sukses, bertahan sampe jam 5.30an..eh hari ke 2 n ke 3 kok gak sukses ya...itu paci-nya diemut bentar trus di spit out..dan masih gelisah terus...akhirnya aku kasih minum susu, tapi juga ngga habis.
wahh pusing dehh..krn gara2 ini, jadi merubah jam minum dan nap-nya yg sudah dibuat rutin kmrn2 ini..
After doing some research from tracy hogg book, it said that baby who had been sleeping through the night is possible to suddenly wake up in the middle of the night..if not because of growth spurt, then it is due to the transition from 3 months to 4 months old. As babies below 4 months old has a 3 hourly routine (feed every 3 hour) and 4 months above has 4 hourly. Naps also change. at 4 months, babies nap 2-3x only, while below 4 months nap for 3-4x. So all this changes and transition cause disruption to baby sleep pattern.
And it seems that there's not much that I can do..except to wait that this phase will be over soon and caleb can sleep thru again..

Sleep Training

After spending a night on research from many websites...I decided to follow this method (since all webs suggesting this): to leave your baby cry out til he finally able to fall asleep by himself!
the webs say that crying out is normal (to my surprise there are so many babies cry before sleep!). By crying out, baby finds his way to soothe himself to sleep. but often the mothers interruption is just delaying the process to fall asleep.
this method is not an easy thing to do..coz not only the baby can cry, but the mother too!
well..here it goes..
after the bedtime routine, kiss good nite to the baby you leave him lying on the bed ALONE.
after 5 mins come back to check on him (expect he's crying!), and then leave again for 10 mins and come back...and so on and so on...just increase the duration after each come back.
it says that some babies can cry up to 15-30mins.
the second day usually is the worst! but by third day should be less cry or no at all.
however, some babies take even 7 days!!

And so...today I tried. and Failed! Haha..
i tried for 2 mins and come back..crying was so loud!
and then left him for 5 mins and came back...cry was louder!
and then 8 mins (supposed to be 10mins), but his cry really melted my heart..so i went in and calmed him..within 1 mins he fell asleep! haha the good thing is..he may be too exhausted crying and just fell asleep once I patted his back.

His second nap? did i try again? NO!
I just make sure he was calm enough before sleep. I talked to him and give him lots of cuddles and then put him on his side and pat his back..guess what..he fell asleep within 1 min also! and the nap lasted for 2.5hour! yayy..!!

and just now I did the same for his bed time. fell asleep directly too and no crying at all.
hmm...
could it be the room is nicer?
(well, we moved caleb to our master bedroom since caleb's room aircon was leaking - so of course the bed is more comfortable, our bed is king sized bed..it's bigger, more cozy)
Or..
could it be he learned from this morning.."it is better to sleep fast and has mummy beside me than being left alone lying on this bed" ?
hmm..I don't know..
but I hope this is for good...!!

enjoying my short time having a maid

This is really a blessing!
To have a maid is sooo sooo nice! apalagi kalo maid-nya pinter sepertin marilyn ini
selaen urusan rumah...bisa bantu maen sama caleb...kalo kita jalan2 ada yg bisa bantu gendong caleb...huhuhu I think i'm gonna miss her when she's back to ci lina... (tinggal 1 bulan lagi nih!)
pengennyaaa punya maid!!!
kalo gak ada dia ntar pasti berasa sebanget-bangetnya dehhhh...lbh capek uda pasti! dan lebih sepiiii....caleb cuma ber 2 di rumah sama aku...tadi aja ditinggal my mom balik indo..waa berasa banget lbh sepi rumah ini...

belom lagi caleb ntar dah hrs makan cereal, bubur, fruits...mesti siapin makanannya jg takes time toh...aduhhhhhh mau dong maid!!! :) - mupeng banget neeeehhh....

need sleeping solution

Weekend ini kembali ke vivo hehe..coz grandma nya caleb ngajakin ke sono..kita berangkat agak sorean jam 3 setelah caleb took nap 2x, tapi sayang nap-nya ngga lama..total 2 jam for 2naps..I really hoped caleb would sleep again di vivo supaya malemnya ngga rewel...but anyway, I planned to go back home before his bed time..
but well...unfortunately...

Because Caleb loves going to the mall..and he refused to sleep..dia cuma bobo di MRT 30mins...and di vivo 15mins..his eyes popped open once we stepped in the mall..
and then pas makan, restonya crowded dan nunggu agak lama..akhirnya bener2 uda bed time-nya caleb dan kita masih belom nyampe rumah! oh Noooo....on the way home, caleb rewelllll buangettt...huxxx sampe org2 di mrt pada ngeliatin...I think he was exhausted...i tried to put him to sleep, but then he screamed....I knew I wasnt supposed to be panic..coz if you're panic, your baby can feel it and he will even cry more...but I did panic! Anehnya pas sampe rumah, dia seger lagi..senyum2 gituhh..haduhh ngga mau bobo lagi! padahal dia uda melek 5 hours lohh...that considered very LONG for a baby to be awake! and when I put him to sleep, he screamed and cried...I was exhausted too...so I gave up and gave him pacifier...and baru deh diem..and finally fell asleep!

I knew that some of you will go againts pacifiers!! katanya pake empeng menyebabkan gigi tonggos dll...aku juga ngga mau banget pake paci kalo gak terpaksa nehh...tapi gimana lagi...we don't have maid or suster or parent/in law to help us take care the baby..it was very very tiring on these kind of days...esp that caleb dari dulu paling susah ditidurin..ngga tau napa dia ngga suka kalo di lie down..kalo mau minum susu aja, pas ditidurin dia marah, kirain waktunya bobo...makanya kalo minum susu aja hrs cepet2 masukin botolnya spy dia tau kalo ini minum susu bukan bobo..otherwise, biasanya aku dudukin on my lap trus minumin susunya..
nahh ini lohh problemnya...karena caleb ini fuzzy before sleep...ngga kaya babies laennya..(walau enaknya si caleb ini bobo malemnya bisa sleep thru the nite. which most other parents still struggle at nights)..
i've asked soo soo many people about giving pacifier...and guess what...those who say DON'T are the ones who have maids/suster...Those who say "we can't live without pacifier" or "paci is our little hero" are those mummies who take care the baby by themselves! I guess because those with suster are easy...susternya bisa gendongin terus sampe baby-nya bobo...dan mereka kan ngga ikut ngrasain susahnya nidurin baby...

Pas di sby, susterku juga pernah kasi empeng..dan aku omelin..pokoknya ngga boleehhh...
ehh tapi emang sih pas di sgp..ngrasain sendiri susahnya boboin caleb...aduhh sometimes kalo dah cranky banget dan mummynya capek..apa bole buat...paci, I need you!

skrg lagi pergumulan...antara mau pake paci ato ngga...hubby bilang kalo urgent aja baru pake...waaaa the thing is I'm so tempted to use everytime boboin caleb...

how about isep jempol ya?
benernya di buku dibilang it's better isep jempol drpd empeng..krn anak tau kapan dia hrs stop isep jempolnya..but that can take long too..some stop only when they are 6 or 7 yrs old! bayangin di skolah ngempot jempol kan malu!
tapi juga banyak yg bilang isep jempol lbh susah di wean-off..kalo empeng kan bisa dicontrol pemakaiannya..kalo jempol kan ga bisa...masak mau diambil gimana...
I know that some babies/kids always need something to soothe themselves in order to fall asleep..mau itu empeng,jempol,guling ato boneka...I really hope caleb can find this 'thing' yang gak usa pake diemut...I really hope caleb can fall asleep fast, on hiw own....I really hope there's a breakthrough soon...

hari ini jadwal vaksin-nya caleb..can't wait for that karena selaen pengen check berat badannya, juga ada banyak questions yg mau ditanyain ke PD.
well, okay...update for caleb..3 months old weight 6.8kg (doctor commented that he is slightly overweight, but still okay), height 61cm (nurse said roughly around there, coz caleb was moving alot when she took the measurement - hubby said must be more than 61 coz he just measured yesterday, he said it was 67 ---kok beda banyak ya? mana yg bener??)
Caleb was not in a very good mood during this PD visit coz just around his nap time and he was sleepy. He was already 'mewek' before he entered the doctor's room. Pas di-cus dia gak nangis emang, cuma mewek2 doang...hehehe..I'm still proud of him!

oh ya..ini questions2ku ke PD:
I asked about when to give solid food..she said 6 months is the best time, but some people already give at 4 motnhs, but she recommended to wait at least til 5 months +
I told PD that these 3 days caleb sometimes did not finish his milk like usual, and she said not to worry coz around this age babies drink less, coz they are not so hungry as they were younger before.
I also asked about the red spots/dots on caleb's forehead, PD said it's blood vessels and will dissapear when he reaches 1 year old.

PD asked if the last injection, caleb developed any fever. I said yes,mild fever only. and she said that this time probably will too.
So I went home and paid attention to him.
He wasn't tired as before, in fact, he was very active and enjoyed his tummy excerise mat so much today. And until now - 11PM his temperature is still 36.8C.

He is getting more and more adorable each day!
I love him so much.
he is now super cute..loves to talk and when he hasn't finished talking to me, and I had something to do, he once shouted as if he called me back to attend to him..and when I was back to him, he was smiling so wide!! :)

Oh and these 2 days...he loves sleeping on my bed beside me more than sleeping on his own cot! *gawat nih* everytime he woke up crying on his cot, I put him on my bed beside me, and he just directly falls asleep again. I don't mind this..as I love his presence beside me too but I have to admit that on the other hand, 3 people on 1 queen size bed is super squeezy (with my giant hubby, of course we have to squeeze ohohoho)

another update...my mind now is filled with researching any kind of baby food recipees as caleb will start his solid food in 2-3 months later!! and I suddenly feel not so confident about my cooking skill (i never cook baby porridge before!!). Also, confused how I shoud proccess the food..just mix all with blender..use slow cooker? does everything has to be sterilized (all the utensils and bowls)? experienced mummies please advise...Dewi???