Now that I'm no longer a full time stay at home mother, I really have to wisely manage my time so that I can have time for my family. Besides working as a part time administrator, I also have my ministry and church activities. That already takes 3-4x a week. and I have one special day that I only go out on a date with hubby. I know that all working mothers are very busy and admit it, there are times you feel guilty for not spending enough time with your kids.
I have come to realize that it is not the amount of time you give to your kid. But whether you use that certain amount for some really good quality and bonding time with your kid. You see...we may be in the same house, seeing him in the living room playing his blocks, while we are doing something else. Yes, you are with him but you are not spending time with him.
Everyday I make sure I have time for my son. and not just spending or wasting time with him but this has to be a real good quality time. How do I spend my quality time with Caleb? I walk with him in the park and while walking, I talk to him, sing to him, joke with him. I create learning time in a fun way so that he can still giggle. We go swimming together or go somewhere else without the maid, just us. and finally, my fave quality time ever is....the bedtime rituals!!! this is when I read books and pray with him before he sleeps. I hate to miss bedtime that's why as much as I can, I try to be home before bedtime.
and Oh..one more...bath time! yes, this is our fun time together too :)
Believe me when you have a good quality time with your kid, you won't ever feel guilty everytime you leave your house. There was one day when I felt so insecured and feeling guilty when I left the house. I felt something was missing. I knew I was spending the time at home but I was tired and I took nap and when I woke up, Caleb was already out at the playground with my maid and before he went home, I already had to leave again. I was thinking and thinking and came to realize that I have not spent any good quality time with my son and that was why I felt guilty leaving him again. It would be a different story if I spent a good time with him, no matter how busy I was, and eventhough I had to leave him again in the evening, I would not feel guilty.
So mommies, it is okay to go to work, to go on a date with your hubby, to have your 'me' time, to meet your friends and so on...as long as you make sure your son get to spend a good quality time with you, you will never feel guilty.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
The eye level talk
This method has been working well so far.
Instead of yelling, shouting to your kid, kneel down until you are at the same height as him, having eye to eye talk.To get his attention, squeeze his arm but don't hurt him, just enough to get him sees your eyes and then say what's your point, e.g. "you cannot draw on the chair, ok?" and teach him to reply "ok" to you. He will listen to you because he feels respected.
I told my hubby to try this technique. I told him that it works for me. So he tried.
and it worked. :)
Instead of yelling, shouting to your kid, kneel down until you are at the same height as him, having eye to eye talk.To get his attention, squeeze his arm but don't hurt him, just enough to get him sees your eyes and then say what's your point, e.g. "you cannot draw on the chair, ok?" and teach him to reply "ok" to you. He will listen to you because he feels respected.
I told my hubby to try this technique. I told him that it works for me. So he tried.
and it worked. :)
Thursday, January 20, 2011
happy parents, happy kids
philipmantofa: The best inheritance we can give to our kids is not material wealth,
but their parents' happy marriage!
I agree Ps.philip. Happy parents, happy kids.
Your relationship with your spouse determines aand shapes your kids' character and emotional beings.
Always pray for your marriage and spouse relationship.
but their parents' happy marriage!
I agree Ps.philip. Happy parents, happy kids.
Your relationship with your spouse determines aand shapes your kids' character and emotional beings.
Always pray for your marriage and spouse relationship.
Caleb's update
Caleb is to be 2 years old in 2 months time! Can you believe that? Time flies so fast..I thought I just ordered his 1st bday cake and now I'm gonna have to think another cake's theme for his 2nd!
Here's some updates on his development:
He naps once a day most of the time.
He is now able to nap for 2.5 hours which is good!
His bedtime is around 8-9PM. He still asks for night feeding although we have 3 times sleeping through the whole night..So I'm looking forward to more and more success. There was a period when he asked for 2x of milk bottles, I guess he was having growth spurt.
He eats bread for breakfast.
He eats lunch and dinner quite a lot actually but his menu is limited. He is still quite picky and reluctant to try new menu.
Language development:
He has abundant vocabs now..I really lose counting of how many words he can speak and understand now.
He can also form 3 words sentence. For example:
Mommy go work
Daddy wear shoes
Itchy go away
He can also indicate what he wants: I want this or that...
He understands all instruction given to him.
Other development:
He is learning to wear his own shoes and slippers. He has many success wearing his own crocs slippers.
He can open a bottle's cap and love to play with it..twisting, turning etc
He still cleans up his toys after playing
He knows what a will power now, and knows the meaning of refusing by saying "don't want"
He has his own preference of what shoes or clothes to wear
He is still friendly and funny. we still get many compliments from neighbors, friends, and even strangers in street of how cute and smart he is.
His brain is an amazing recorder. He'll immitate what he sees. Promise him something, he'll remind you of what you have said.
He developes dislikes in insects such as butterfly, lizard, cockroach, etc but his expression doesnt look scared at all. he sometimes will just say "hiiii...mommy!! lizard!!!" and will come running to me n hug me but he still has this wide smile on his face lol :D
He has completed his alphabet learning from A-Z and numbers 1-10 by 20 months old. This is a very good achievement for both if us. we still study this everyday to make sure he doesn't forget. Now besides numbers and abc, I am teaching him to say his own name, mommy's and daddy's name, practicing to say and knows when to say 'sorry', 'excuse me', 'please'. He has good improvement. I'm proud.
He certainly loves MUSIC. His first love is drum, now he begins to like guitar and keyboard as well.
He dances when he hears music (or beat or drum beat :D)
His routine:
7.30 or 8AM: wake up - breakfast (mostly are bread) - to the park
9.30 AM: shower and water play time
10AM: study time & Bible reading time for 5-7mins
10.30AM: to playground (play time)
11AM: Lunch
12 or 12.30: nap (milk before nap - 100ml)
2.30 or 3pm: wake up - snack time - tv/play time
4pm: to the park/playground
6pm: dinner
7pm: shower
7.15pm: family time
8 or 8.30pm: get ready to bed - story book time - prayer - milk (150ml) - bed
Here's some updates on his development:
He naps once a day most of the time.
He is now able to nap for 2.5 hours which is good!
His bedtime is around 8-9PM. He still asks for night feeding although we have 3 times sleeping through the whole night..So I'm looking forward to more and more success. There was a period when he asked for 2x of milk bottles, I guess he was having growth spurt.
He eats bread for breakfast.
He eats lunch and dinner quite a lot actually but his menu is limited. He is still quite picky and reluctant to try new menu.
Language development:
He has abundant vocabs now..I really lose counting of how many words he can speak and understand now.
He can also form 3 words sentence. For example:
Mommy go work
Daddy wear shoes
Itchy go away
He can also indicate what he wants: I want this or that...
He understands all instruction given to him.
Other development:
He is learning to wear his own shoes and slippers. He has many success wearing his own crocs slippers.
He can open a bottle's cap and love to play with it..twisting, turning etc
He still cleans up his toys after playing
He knows what a will power now, and knows the meaning of refusing by saying "don't want"
He has his own preference of what shoes or clothes to wear
He is still friendly and funny. we still get many compliments from neighbors, friends, and even strangers in street of how cute and smart he is.
His brain is an amazing recorder. He'll immitate what he sees. Promise him something, he'll remind you of what you have said.
He developes dislikes in insects such as butterfly, lizard, cockroach, etc but his expression doesnt look scared at all. he sometimes will just say "hiiii...mommy!! lizard!!!" and will come running to me n hug me but he still has this wide smile on his face lol :D
He has completed his alphabet learning from A-Z and numbers 1-10 by 20 months old. This is a very good achievement for both if us. we still study this everyday to make sure he doesn't forget. Now besides numbers and abc, I am teaching him to say his own name, mommy's and daddy's name, practicing to say and knows when to say 'sorry', 'excuse me', 'please'. He has good improvement. I'm proud.
He certainly loves MUSIC. His first love is drum, now he begins to like guitar and keyboard as well.
He dances when he hears music (or beat or drum beat :D)
His routine:
7.30 or 8AM: wake up - breakfast (mostly are bread) - to the park
9.30 AM: shower and water play time
10AM: study time & Bible reading time for 5-7mins
10.30AM: to playground (play time)
11AM: Lunch
12 or 12.30: nap (milk before nap - 100ml)
2.30 or 3pm: wake up - snack time - tv/play time
4pm: to the park/playground
6pm: dinner
7pm: shower
7.15pm: family time
8 or 8.30pm: get ready to bed - story book time - prayer - milk (150ml) - bed
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Another growth spurt?
My husband is very involved in the matter of raising Caleb. He would not just leave me alone to decide what's best for his son, he would want to be involved. I'm not talking about big matter like which school Caleb should go to, or Which girl he should date (haha!)..but for matters that usually only moms concern. Last few weeks, Caleb had been waking up at night and asking for milk - twice a night! 2am and 6am.
and my hubby said "this has become a habit, we should do something about it!"
My instinc said that it was not a habit. I don't know what's going on but it just didn't seem like he grew a habit out of sudden. But anyway, I followed his sugestion. The next night we refused to give another bottle of milk and ended up Caleb waking up so grumpy! We finally gave him a Meiji cow milk and he gulped down so fast and still cranky. He was really hungry! So I knew it..it was not a habit.
To my surprise, I logged on to the motherhood forum and found an interesting topic that some of the kids there (all same age as caleb), were also waking up twice at night for milk!!
So I guessed...these babies were going through another growth spurt period. This is when they need food intake more than usual for their growth and usually lasts for 3-4 days or even a week.
So I told hubby about it and he agreed that we would just feed him milk if later on that night he asked for it.
True enough a few days later, Caleb was back to normal and did not ask for 2x bottles a night.
What a relief.
and my hubby said "this has become a habit, we should do something about it!"
My instinc said that it was not a habit. I don't know what's going on but it just didn't seem like he grew a habit out of sudden. But anyway, I followed his sugestion. The next night we refused to give another bottle of milk and ended up Caleb waking up so grumpy! We finally gave him a Meiji cow milk and he gulped down so fast and still cranky. He was really hungry! So I knew it..it was not a habit.
To my surprise, I logged on to the motherhood forum and found an interesting topic that some of the kids there (all same age as caleb), were also waking up twice at night for milk!!
So I guessed...these babies were going through another growth spurt period. This is when they need food intake more than usual for their growth and usually lasts for 3-4 days or even a week.
So I told hubby about it and he agreed that we would just feed him milk if later on that night he asked for it.
True enough a few days later, Caleb was back to normal and did not ask for 2x bottles a night.
What a relief.
Partnership
You may have read many parenting books. You may have known many methods by now. You may want to put it into practice. You want to make the theory alive.
Oh well, whatever your method you choose - be it how to develop a routine, to discipline your child during meal time and so on, you need your PARTNER to first agree on the method so that you both can go in the same pathway. Partner means your husband and whoever else involved in taking care your kid. You need all the support you can get! You insist not to give snacks before dinner, but your partner went home with some crackers and happily fed your kid with it. I'm sure that will destroy all your efforts and frustrate you even more. So sit down and discuss your concern and what solution you have found and ask support from your partner so that he or she will be going the same path as you.
To change the kid's bad habit needs preserverence and support from your partner. There will be times when you feel like this doesn't work and you're about to give in, that's when your partner has to keep on encouraging you to keep on going.
Oh well, whatever your method you choose - be it how to develop a routine, to discipline your child during meal time and so on, you need your PARTNER to first agree on the method so that you both can go in the same pathway. Partner means your husband and whoever else involved in taking care your kid. You need all the support you can get! You insist not to give snacks before dinner, but your partner went home with some crackers and happily fed your kid with it. I'm sure that will destroy all your efforts and frustrate you even more. So sit down and discuss your concern and what solution you have found and ask support from your partner so that he or she will be going the same path as you.
To change the kid's bad habit needs preserverence and support from your partner. There will be times when you feel like this doesn't work and you're about to give in, that's when your partner has to keep on encouraging you to keep on going.
My belated wishes
Oh my Goshhh
We were having such a great time this holiday season that I barely blog..How could I???
sigh..
Oh well..
I wish you all had a great wonderful time on your Christmas day and New Year too.
Merry Christmas
Happy New year
(belated)
(so late!)
We were having such a great time this holiday season that I barely blog..How could I???
sigh..
Oh well..
I wish you all had a great wonderful time on your Christmas day and New Year too.
Merry Christmas
Happy New year
(belated)
(so late!)
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