Lessons I learned

I have promised myself that I want to give something for Caleb when he turns 18 months. I have a few lists in my mind and I think that they are nice presents. But to tell you honestly, some of my presents which I think good and interesting enough...apparently were not that interesting to Caleb. Among all the toys that he has now, only a few he likes to play with everyday. Others he only play randomly and seldomly.

And so it has come to my mind that no matter how a parent wants the best for her kids, she doesn't always know exactly what's best. Unlike our God...He really beats all the parents in the world for He knows exactly which one is the best that will make us happy!

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Yesterday I was window shopping in children department store. When looking for a toy, I make sure I choose the one that's suitable for my son's age. I don't want to give something that is too difficult for him to handle and will only frustrate him or something too simple that will bore him and lose his interest.

and then there's this voice in my heart: and so is God. Sometimes we wonder why we have not receieved what we've been praying about. I believe it's just a matter of time. Because God wants to give us at the appropriate time when we are ready so that we can handle it well and be really happy for that.

Are you hurt?

A dear sister has sent me her testimony today. I feel really blessed and really moved my heart.
Here's what she shared to me:

Shalom,

Senang sekali buat aku berbagi setiap kejadian, sekalipun itu merupakan kejadian sederhana , namun sangat berkesan di hatiku.

Tadi pagi2 sekali, aku sudah bangun, menyeterika seragam sekolah anak2 ku. Pagi ini, tidak seperti biasanya anak2 ku pun bangun lebih awal daripada semestinya. Joshua, yang kecil, memberitahukan suamiku bahwa dia harus tiba di sekolah jam 6.30 am. Dia sudah janji dengan teman2 nya untuk ketemu lebih awal di sekolah. Aku sendiri jujur, tidak mempercayai janji teman2 nya ( maklum, namanya juga anak2 ). Ternyata, ketika jam menunjukkan pkl 6.30, aku baru saja siap2 pakai sepatu hendak mengantar dia ke sekolah. Langsung dia menunjukkan raut muka yang tidak happy, karena dia berharap suamiku akan mengantar dia ke sekolah by car. Tapi, suamiku masih dalam keadaan kurang sehat pagi tadi, jadi aku tidak mengijinkan dia mengantar Joshua.

Joshua menunjukkan marahnya kepadaku. Dia tidak menunggu aku untuk berdoa buat dia ( seperti biasa, setiap pagi sebelum berangkat ke sekolah aku selalu berdoa, memberkati anak2 ku ) tapi langsung turun ke bawah rumah. Aku pelan2 turun dan berdoa buat dia di pinggir jalanan mobil, sekalipun tidak ada respon, kecuali marah kepadaku. Sepanjang jalan dari rumah menuju ke sekolah dia tidak mau dituntun. Bahkan dia melangkah kira2 satu meter lebih jauh dari langkahku. Sepanjang jalan dia menunjukkan sikap marahnya kepadaku. Aku cuma diam..dalam hati, aku mengucap syukur kepada Tuhan untuk hari yang baru, itu lebih baik tentunya ..Sikap marahnya tidak mendapat tempat sedikitpun di hatiku. Bahkan ketika sampai di sekolah, jarak dia dan aku semakin menjauh. Dia tidak menoleh ke arahku, bahkan ketika aku mengucapkan "God bless you, Jo ".. Namun aku tidak marah kepadanya.

Sepanjang jalan, aku berkata2 kepada Tuhan.. "Tuhan, mungkin sikap anakku terhadap aku salah, tapi aku memaafkan dia.. Tuhan, aku mohon, Engkaupun mengampuninya, karena dia tidak mengerti apa yang dia lakukan terhadapku. Aku mengasihinya, Tuhan, dan aku ingin dia menyadari apa yang baru saja dia perbuat terhadap ku.. supaya dia tidak kehilangan sukacitanya hari ini di sekolah..Sepanjang jalan aku memberkati anakku..

Sampai aku di rumah, suamiku mangatakan, ada beberapa missed call, tapi setelah diangkat, telp nya diputus. Setelah suamiku mengatakan demikian, handphone bunyi, dan itu dari Joshua. Ternyata Joshua mencoba telp aku beberapa kali dari public phone di sekolah. Suamiku memberikan handphone tsb kepadaku.." Mum..sorry ya mum.. yang tadi sorry ya mum.." Nadanya seperti mau menangis.. I know my son very well.. Aku cuma menjawab, " nga pa2, Jo..Mami sudah memaafkan kamu dari tadi.." Kita sama2 bersukacita mengakhiri pembicaraan singkat di telepon. Dan dia sudah melupakan apa yang barusan terjadi. Dia happy sekali.

Aku cuma mengatakan kepada suamiku, " Praise God..Tuhan berbicara kepadanya. Joshua telah melakukan apa yang semestinya. Tidak membiarkan dia kehilangan damai dan sukacita, tapi menyelesaikan nya. Dia melakukan bagiannya. Sehingga dia bebas dari rasa bersalah yang menuduh. God is good. I praise God.

Friends, kalau mungkin ada orang lain yang saat ini membuat engkau marah, entah orang tuamu, saudaramu, teman baikmu, ,"..ampunilah.." Karena firman Tuhan mengajar kita, " jangan membalas kejahatan dengan kejahatan, tetapi dengan kebaikan.." Jangan mengutuk, tapi berkatilah.. Dengan mentaati firman Tuhan, secara tidak langsung , kita telah memberi kesempatan orang lain untuk menyadari kesalahan mereka dan menyelesaikan nya, yaitu waktu kita mengampuni mereka dan memberkati mereka.

Friends, kalau engkau mungkin secara tidak sengaja menyakiti hati orang lain, baik suami atau istri, orang tua, sahabat atau siapapun, jangan menunda waktu untuk mengakui dan minta maaf.. Secara tidak langsung, engkau sedang memberkati diri sendiri. Karena dengan mengakui kesalahan dan minta maaf, engkau sebenarnya sedang berbuat baik untuk dirimu sendiri. Engkau sedang mengambil kembali sukacita itu bagi dirimu sendiri. Nama Tuhan akan dimuliakan dalam hidupmu.

Friends, kiranya short sharing ini memberkati mu. God bless you!

I love you,

Lusy


I pray that when given the same situation, I can act and pray the same thing for my son.
May Jesus bless me with wisdom to become a good mom and wife according to His criteria.

Can't get enough of you, son!

I'm flattered with the fact that I am my son's fave person! Seeing him running with giggles to hug me makes me feel like I am loved and needed.and I love him even more too. Now I begin to understand why God says "I tell u the truth, unless u change n become like little children, u will never enter the kingdom of heaven" matthew 18:3

I wrote this on my FB and twitter.
It is true...I feel so flattered that no matter what the situation, with me going to work and all, my position to caleb has never changed. I am still his fave person! I love to see him running with giggles to hug me...I love the way he calls looking for me "mamma....mamma..."
I love the fact that I am the one who comforts him the most when he cries.
I love the way he hugs me tightly

I just love him so much...

I believe that God in heaven will love us so much and will be pleased if we come to Him with the heart of a little child like caleb. To allow Him to have the biggest space in our heart, to make Him our most fave, to call Him in needs and in seek of comfort. I bet He wont even wait to help you and to give you what you want.

rabbit

This is the very 1st picture that Caleb had drawn by himself.
he may just anyhow draw without the purpose that he really wants to draw this.
but what amazed me is that after he finished drawing..he looked at this picture and then he pointed at it and said "rabbit!"
I thought to myself it might be just another scribbles...
but OMG...when i saw the picture..it was a RABBIT!!!
oh..I'm so proud of you!!

Happy 18 months!

Caleb is now 18 months old and up til now he can communicate quite well for his age.
I notice that he understands and speaks English alot more than Indonesian.
He understands instruction well and actually understands almost everything I say.

If I tell him to turn off the tv, he will do exactly like I say.
If I tell him to off the dvd, he will do so...

his ability to memorize things are incredible too...not like when he was a baby who really has a short term memory..he can now remember better..esp to where he put his things/toys.
he now has preference to..esp about which shoes/slippers he wants to wear and which dvd he wants to watch (mostly Hi5). he is also learning to put his own shoes and learn to self feed.

I am a proud mommy to have him as my son! :D

Moral Education

Having a helper/nanny in our family for the past 2 months have taught me that it is best to raise our kids ourselves. I have some beliefs and knowledge that may differ from others and I hope that my son will learn good and true moral education.

Last month I overheard my helper scolded our TV cabinet because Caleb bang his head to it while trying to reach a ball. She scolded " bad cabinet!! ".
I didn't agree and approve that..neither have I ever blamed a non living thing just because my son had bumped to it. I would rather tell my son that he needs to be careful next time.

Today, I am not feeling well..down with flu symptoms and really want to rest. So I told my helper to take my son to the playground so I can rest a while. But Caleb still miss her mommy so much, he didn't want to be separated from me. So my helper told him "come on let's go..see..daddy is home already..he's at the door!". Of course, hearing 'daddy is home' had distracted my son enough to make him run to the living room...just to find there was noone there.
I hate this. I don't like lying. So far I remember I never lie to my son. and I don't like the idea of someone else planted a seed of lie to my son. It is because we lied to our kids, then they know how to lie when they're bigger.
So I just told my helper.." don't lie to him".

When I was in Jakarta, I remember one incident where my sis in law talked over to my nephew who at that time refused to take shower and go to school. My sis in law said "you have to be a good boy, otherwise mr policeman will come and arrest you...you don't want that to happen, don't u?"
I don't know if my nephew really believed her or not...but he then took shower and went to school with a grumpy face.

I have always thought and believed that kids (and babies) are smart. We are not supposed to treat them like they don't know anything.
I have always believed that Caleb understands what I'm talking about since he was a baby...and these days I see him able to communicate and follow instruction better than other kids I know.
If we choose to believe that kids/babies are not smart enough that they just believe your lies, well...that's what you'll get. It may save your situation for that moment, but I don't think it's a good moral education for them in future if you planted lies.

But I guess what just happened between my helper and my son, that would happen again...we are living in this world who belong the the king of lies, we face this. I pray that I will never have to lie to my son or anyone else...and may I be given the wisdom to educate my son and to help him deal with people's lies and that he will grow to be an honorable man of God.

My favourites

These are my fave list of "Caleb's lil actions":

1. He will say 'amen' whenever he hears me saying "in Jesus mighty name". Sometimes he will even say amen before I finish my prayer :D
the point is..he knows that we are praying!

2. He knows where's Jesus! If I ask him..where's Jesus? He will point up..and I will say "yes, He is in heaven". and If I ask him where's Holy Spirit, he will touch his chest..and I will say "yes, in your heart" :)

3. Every morning 8am and evening 5pm..he will automatically take his slippers and ask mommy to put them on because he knows for sure it's playground time! There's one time..we had a playdate at my friend's place..it was 5.15pm and he went to take his slippers and knock the front door, telling me it's time to go home coz he wants to play at playground *lols*

4. He makes sure he says bye-bye to mommy before he's going to playground. Yesterday I wasn't paying attention coz I was reading. So he called me "mamma...mamma.." to get my attention...and then he said bye-bye and kissed me. awww...so sweet...

5. Whenever I say "no..no..no" to him..he will repeat after me "no..no..no" and immitate how i shake my point finger :D

6. Whenever he sees some flyers, brochures below our mailbox downstaits..he will clean it up n throw them into the bin!

7. He is getting more friendly than before. He will smile to strangers and say HI and BYE.

8. Every morning he will join all those ah-ma (elderly) and do excercise with them...those ah-mas surely have a good laugh watching my son...I'm glad he brings joy to them every morning :)

9. He likes to carry heavy things now..he will say " heavy..heavy.." but still insist to carry it!!

10. he likes to drink tea!! he will go "ahhh...ahhh" as if the tea is very hot, although it is actually not hot at all..

thank You for our health

Being physically and mentally healthy is really something we need to be thankful everyday.
As a parent to see my son gets flu is heart breaking enough, I couldn't imagine something worse than that.

I have read articles about autism, hyperactive and read a blog and watched a movie about parents with autism kid. Wow..my heart cried for those parents and kids. They must have gone through alot of struggles, shed alot of tears, drained emotionally and not to mention the expenses on the treatment.

and today I witness with my own eyes..an autism kid.. a 6 year pretty girl on the MRT. I wouldn't notice she is an autist if she wasn't yelling, keep wanting to bite her finger and poke her nose.
She is one pretty girl u know...
She was sitting in the midle of two filipino maids...wow her mom has 2 maids to baby sit her..can u imagine how costly that is! I bet she pays very expensive for the helpers...otherwise who would want to stay if not for the high pay..
As I looked at her...I can imagine what her parents are going through..it must had been hard when the first time they found out that their daughter has autism. and the girl too..she couldn't grow up normally like other kids do. :(
I try my very best not to stare or look at her whenever she made noise or screamed.
I know and understand this. When Caleb is having those mini-fits on MRT coz he doesnt want to sit still on his stroller, I will feel so uneasy if people stare at us...with or without the judgement from them..well, hey what do you know about my struggles or my kid? you're not in my shoe...so pls dont make it more difficult right?

To help myself get distracted from looking at her, I prayed. yes..I prayed for her parents that God will give them strength and the patience that they need to raise their daughter. and I prayed that God will make this pretty girl to come to know Jesus someday..despite her development disorder.

Jesus loves you, pretty girl..

when is the 2nd one coming?

I have alot of people asking me this question. Maybe they see Caleb is bigger now, they wonder if I plan to have #2.

The answer is....

NO......T

YET.

it will only happen when Caleb is about 3.5 years..then I will start to plan for #2.

Why?

OMG...I love this stage so much! I love Caleb being 1.5 year old..he just has too many cute actions and words. I don't know if other toddlers at this age really give you a colorful life full of joy and laughter like Caleb does, but Caleb is one wonderful person of mine and I really want to enjoy him so much and I'm not willing to share my attention and love to another baby right now.
I do pray and tell God about it, but of course if by all means He still wants to trust me another baby sooner than I expect..I will love her (hopefully it's a girl!) too, of course!

FInally...

Yes...finally I am able to blog again...and I have a sudden rush to post 3 topics today.

Firstly, I'm going to update regarding the helper and Caleb.
After 1 month+, I see a good improvement which is...ibu now can put Caleb to sleep and she is able to feed him. BUT...caleb still refuses to receive his milk bottle from ibu. He wants mommy or daddy to be the one passing him the bottle.

They have actually bonded quite well now...it is that well that makes me worried if mommy is no longer be Caleb's fave person in his world now.
But thankfully...it is not proven! yippee...!! :D

I am still his no 1 person!!
I knew this when Caleb was having fever and very cranky due to post MMR-V vaccination, he only find his most comfort in me - his mom!
and then I found out from hubby that sometimes after he comes home from playground in the morning..he will run home and call mommy and search all around the house. Of course he won't find me coz I have already left to office by that time. The good thing is he doesn't cry. He will look for me and after he realized I'm not home..he's fine.
And on weekend when i'm not working, I noticed that when he wakes up from his nap, he will also look for me. I asked my husband if he looks for me too on weekdays...my husband said yes it happens sometimes.
and then one more thing: there are times when he only wants to be with mommy, don't try to take him away from me..he will get..like really mad at you! :D