Having a helper/nanny in our family for the past 2 months have taught me that it is best to raise our kids ourselves. I have some beliefs and knowledge that may differ from others and I hope that my son will learn good and true moral education.
Last month I overheard my helper scolded our TV cabinet because Caleb bang his head to it while trying to reach a ball. She scolded " bad cabinet!! ".
I didn't agree and approve that..neither have I ever blamed a non living thing just because my son had bumped to it. I would rather tell my son that he needs to be careful next time.
Today, I am not feeling well..down with flu symptoms and really want to rest. So I told my helper to take my son to the playground so I can rest a while. But Caleb still miss her mommy so much, he didn't want to be separated from me. So my helper told him "come on let's go..see..daddy is home already..he's at the door!". Of course, hearing 'daddy is home' had distracted my son enough to make him run to the living room...just to find there was noone there.
I hate this. I don't like lying. So far I remember I never lie to my son. and I don't like the idea of someone else planted a seed of lie to my son. It is because we lied to our kids, then they know how to lie when they're bigger.
So I just told my helper.." don't lie to him".
When I was in Jakarta, I remember one incident where my sis in law talked over to my nephew who at that time refused to take shower and go to school. My sis in law said "you have to be a good boy, otherwise mr policeman will come and arrest you...you don't want that to happen, don't u?"
I don't know if my nephew really believed her or not...but he then took shower and went to school with a grumpy face.
I have always thought and believed that kids (and babies) are smart. We are not supposed to treat them like they don't know anything.
I have always believed that Caleb understands what I'm talking about since he was a baby...and these days I see him able to communicate and follow instruction better than other kids I know.
If we choose to believe that kids/babies are not smart enough that they just believe your lies, well...that's what you'll get. It may save your situation for that moment, but I don't think it's a good moral education for them in future if you planted lies.
But I guess what just happened between my helper and my son, that would happen again...we are living in this world who belong the the king of lies, we face this. I pray that I will never have to lie to my son or anyone else...and may I be given the wisdom to educate my son and to help him deal with people's lies and that he will grow to be an honorable man of God.
2 comments:
well ci.. i agree with you.. lie is not a good seed to plant to young innocent kid. they might follow as they dont know as much stuff as we know..
but there will be, someday, a case where you have to "lie" for a bit. like what if he asked u, "how was i born, mom?"
this kind of questions kinda bothering me sometimes [well not that im being so adult to even think about having child now, but sometimes this kind of adult quesetion considering my next generation bothers me].
if that's the case what will u tell Caleb? >___< if u told him the real detail, it will be a bit gross for him and "porn" seed planted on him. >___<
Liev..
I believe every parent is equipped with wisdom that we dont have to lie to them..
I will not explain/answer him in a porn way, of course :D
I haven't thought about it yet how to answer...but most probably I will answer according to in what age when he asks me that question.
Maybe I can simply tell him that when 2 people are in love and get married, God bless them with a baby..just like a seed can grow to a big plant..a baby used to be as small as a seed in mommy's tummy...
and because I gave birth through c-sect (caesar), it's easier for me to explain that he came out to see the world from my tummy hahaha!
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