Independent Playtime

Training our babies to have independent playtime is a MUST, and we do it since they are very young, meaning since newborn, starting as short as 3 mins and then prolong the time as they grow up.

Why is it important?
1. to teach the baby to be independent and not dependent on us all the time
2. to give us some time alone to do what we need to do, this is esp important for stay at home moms!

How we do it?
Always leave your baby in a safe place, like a playpen or his cot.
I left Caleb to play alone on his play mat when he still couldn't move alot and then moved him to his fisher price bouncer seat with seat belt, and when he started cruising, I let him play on his cot.

To be honest, I still feel that I hadn't done it well..or as good as I have expected...especially during teething period and separation anxiety period (10-18m), Caleb was so dependent on me and insisting his mommy to be on his sight.

But as he grows up, now 19 months old, I see him having his independent playtime more often and longer than usual. He can just play alone in his room or in the living room. and when he does a good independent playtime, I know I shouldn't disturb him. He has his privacy to be respected. and I'm proud of him.

I know a 4 year old boy who still demands to be accompanied everytime he plays.
Hmm I surely don't want that. There should be family time where we all hang out together, mommy and son time, daddy and son bonding time and also independent time. they all have to balance.

Ever since Caleb was a baby, everytime I go back to Indo, people often surprised on how I raise my son, that I sometimes left him to play alone on the floor...
First, in my country...most people don't allow babies on the floor until they are 7 months old. so all the time babies would spend their playtime on someone's arms or bed.
(fyi, the benefit of letting your babies to be on floor is that they learn to roll over, sit, cruise, crawl and walk faster! caleb walked when he was 12m old while most boys in Indo walk at 14-15m)
Secondly, people are soooo afraid that their babies will get hurt, fall down and so on... they are afraid of hearing cries...once the baby cries, they pick up and carry him...
well, do u know that teaching babies to control emotions, soothe himself, learn to be careful after a fall or a bump is a skill that they have to develop? and it is our job to teach them. But we can't never teach them if we are too cautious and all the time carrying them and make all efforts to not let them cry or feel frustrated whenever they can't stack their blocks toy.
Moreover, our babies will someday have to deal with life: disappointment, anger, frustration, broken heart, pain....they need to deal with it...again, it is our job to teach them the skill.

Today, I was in the bathroom and my maid was in the kitchen, Caleb was in the living room playing alone...and my friend who just in time arrived in my house was surprised enough to see Caleb ALONE in living room. She asked "why is Caleb alone here", as if something was not right and not supposed to be this way. ehem... I believe she got the idea from our country's culture where she and I were raised that way too :)

and when she thought it was something not right...I thought to myself "so what's wrong with that?" :)