Spanking

I know Caleb will sooner or later need spanking, or we Asians call it “caning”. It’s just that I am not sure how to do it and when. And then I’ve come to this book called “Shepherding a Child’s Heart” written by Tedd Tripp and read about the spanking topic that he has written there. I would love to share this information with you and to give my opinion as well.

Here’s the 3 important things that I have noted:

When to do it?

 It is when you have given a direction to your child, he has heard you, and has the capability to understand your direction but refuse to obey without excuse or delay, he needs spanking.

How to do it?

First, he needs a private place. Because it is important not to humiliate the child by doing it in front of other people. We need to respect his privacy as well. (oh yes, kids understand what shame is. Even Caleb now who is 23 months old has developed shyness around strangers now and I’m sure by the time he needs spanking, he is at the age where he knows what shame is.) And then you need to explain what he has done wrong and get him to acknowledge that he has done wrong and then tell him that is why he needs to be spanked.

Remind him that you spank not because you are angry but because you want to restore him to the right place where blessings from God comes to those who obey.

Tell him how many spankings he will receive (this is important for u too so that you won't lose control of yourself)

After spanking is done, hug him and tell him that you love him and it makes you sad that you need to spank and hopes you won't need to do it again. And then pray with him.

I know..I know..it's not easy, right? Even when I was reading it, I thought to myself "wow...can I do that?"

Why we need to do it

It is simply because it is God's command. Because the blessing and long life comes from obeying parents. By spanking, we restore our child from dishonoring God to blessings.

Tripp also explained that spanking cannot be replaced by time out. At this point, I have to say that I disagree with him. I think we need to see what kind of disobedience that the child has done. I haven't done spanking/caning Caleb so far. I am giving him time-out for disobedience. To me, spanking will take place only if the child does something that dishonor (show no respect) to parents. It is more to moral behaviour to me. What do you think?