I need His guidance

Yesterday evening we were out to have a walk to the mall nearby and Caleb was with us. Isn't it funny that our toddies always demanded to walk when they were still limb and need us to support them to cruise around, and now when they are already so expertise in walking, they demand to be in mommy's arms all the time, refusing to walk alone? This what happens to Caleb..whenever we are out the house, he will automatically want me to carry him. and he is smart as well! I once told him "mommy is tired, Caleb..Can you walk?" and this is how he replied me "ok. daddy carry caleb please".
Another time I told him the same thing when daddy wasn't around, he replied me "mommy tired, Caleb also tired", and by that he meant that mommy had to carry him all the way. Sigh...

Recently I have a new tactic and it works. I will tell him that we will go home now if he insist to be carried. This works and he will walk, holding my hands.
But yesterday as this incident happened, there was an old lady who was jogging along the park and heard our conversation. She approached us and commented to my little prince "yes, you need to walk and cannot ask mommy to carry you all the time. Walking is good to exercise your muscles. You see...aunty also walk and run, it's good for me". And this old woman who seemed to know children well asked me how old my son is and said "do you know that between 2-3 years old is the important period when you as a parent cannot let your child control you?"
Although I know and equipped with this knowledge, this woman brought me another wake up call. I realized that maybe i have been more lenient. Both hubby and I then discussed how important it is to discipline our kid at this age. It's like when you do what you need to do now, although it won't be easy, after 3 yo it won't be so bad anymore because caleb would understand his boundaries well.

And later after that incident, we went out for supper with some close friends after caleb was asleep. And because four of us have children, we talked about our kids as well and we talked about our friends' kids who now grow up tp be teenagers and to our suprise these teens have grown to be rebellious with very bad attitude problem, despite that their parents are dedicated God's people. We talked how could that happen. Is it because lack of discipline, being too protective towards their kids, too lenient? we do not know. But for me, I realized how hard it is to raise our kids, build their godly character, to see them become righteous people who fear God and respect their parents. It's not just a matter of having good financial to send them to good school, feed them or dress them well. Somehow I feel so humble, I feel that I have a lot of weakness and in need of God's wisdom. Now all I want to do is to always pray to God everyday for His wisdom to guide me so that I can raise my kids well. I hope you all will be encouraged to do so. let's humble ourselves and ask God to take control of everything.


p.s. To my friend Sylvia...Congrats dear for your pregnancy. I pray you have smooth pregnancy and delivery! Take care :)

The wonderful two

Now that Caleb is two, some might wonder how terrible he is entering this 'terrible two' period. It is true that we begin to see the characteristic of a two year old toddler:

1. When he wants it now, it means now. Mostly, he wants mommy! so if mommy doesn't come and do what he wants, he'll scream and yes, tantrums! Kids this age don't understand the meaning of waiting. He doesnt get what "a minute" means.To him, a minute or 5 minutes are the same as NOW.
2. He develops his preference strongly. He wants to wear new shoes to the playground. he wants to wear new sandals for lunch at home. He wants to do certain activity with a certaon people. For example, if he wants to play ball, he'll go looking for his dad or ibu (our helper) and he will not want me to interfere, he'll say "bye bye mommy! mommy go!". At first, I was hurt when I listened those words. I didn't understand what was going on, why he rejected me. I wondered if I didn't spend enough time with me that now he prefered to spend time with others than me. But soon I realized when I was playing blocks and lego and play dough, he was having so much fun with me and he will tell anyone else who try to interfere him "bye bye! go!" lol. And now he knows how to differentiate when to be with mommy, whent o be with ibu. If mommy is at home, he'll demand mommy. But when he sees mommy got dressed up and ready to go, he knows it's time with ibu.
3. He hates being disturbed. If he's engaged, telling him to take shower or brush teeth is a challenge for me now. I have to have a good strategy to make him do what he needs to do. Usually I will take some ice cubes for him to play in the bath room, or bring new cups for him to play water and so on. God grants me creativity please :)

With all these new challenges, I still have other factors that interrupt what I have built since beginning.
It was actually hard to have another care giver in the house. With ibu around, she has interfered with the way I raise my son. There are some values that have been ruined. Reading books are not consistent nowadays. And independent play time is truly very hard these days. It's very sad to see these changes. These are something that I had worked hard since caleb was a baby. But what can I do...this what happens when u return to work and have a helper to take care of our child. Different culture on how we raise our kids play apart. I couldn't bring up this issue as well. I need to close one eye as it's not easy to find a good helper. So far I see that my helper loves my son. She really takes good care of him (on her own way, of course). it's true, she adores my son. I know because she keeps praising him and we all can see that she's proud of my son. She keeps telling good stories to people about how funny and smart Caleb is. I appreciate that.

But apart from all those challenges, I do not want to call it "terrible two". It's still a wonderful two, people! yes it is. Looking at how good the progress that Caleb has achieved so far, we have wonderful moments too!
Do you know that he starts talking alot lately? he's making alot of sentences. He's singing more and more songs now. and it's just cute!!
Yesterday we were playing lego and his daddy came in and tickled mommy (+_+) then my little prince went to his dad, saying " daddy, don't disturb mommy ok!" and gave his dad a pat on the back LOL!! so cute!!!

This morning we were playing dough and i told him after playing dough he has to wash his hands because the dough makes your finger and nail dirty. He then took the dough and threw it to the bin. I was angry because he threw the dough but then I realized it was because I said that playing dough makes his finger and nail dirty so he thought that since dough is dirty, why not throw it to the bin? Hahaha!

Another sweet thing is that he kisses me in the morning :) sweet right?

When I return from work, he sometimes will explain to me what he was just doing before I came. Yesterday he told me "Caleb sleep with ibu just now. Now Caleb wake up already and ibu turn off air con and open window"
I think that's a very long sentences for him to say. I'm very happy with the progress :)

And when he really wants mommy, he'll say something like "mommy stay at home please. caleb don't want mommy go work". This really melts my heart :( I hate to break his heart coz I still need to go to work :(

Another good thing...as I mentioned that lately we have been busy having fun and have many family outings, we realized that nowadays he can stay up late despite that he only took 1 nap during the day. It's really good coz now we can enjoy special occasion without having the need to go home earlier for his bedtime.

The terrible twos

What is terrible twos?

It is a time when toddlers learn to assert themselves and test limits

It is the way two-year-olds express their emotions. Raw and powerful emotions at age two. They will show you what they feel right away. If they’re happy, they giggle. If they’re angry, they scream.

And according to wikipedia:

A child developmental stage which normally occurs around the age of two (but can start earlier) and consists of toddlers often saying no and throwing temper tantrums.

These words – terrible two – have actually threatened me when I first heard there is such label for our toddler when they reach 2. Some mommies in the forum claim that their 20 months old toddies have started their terrible two already and giving them so much headache.

Caleb has recently started to give me some attitudes during meal time. He will want to use his own spoon but when you give him the spoon, he won’t eat but just play with the food! I don’t accept this kind of behaviour. So when he only plays with food and not eating it, I quickly put him down from his chair and take away the bowl. He will cry, of course. And because we usually give him lunch right before his nap, he sometimes threw mini tantrums because he was sleepy. So to avoid this, I change his lunch time after his nap. And replace his snack time at 2.30 pm to 10.30 am, before he naps.

I’m not sure whether this is the sign of terrible two. But I tell myself I have to refuse this. I will not label my son with a terrible two title! Instead, I will stay positive and speak blessings over his 3^rd year!

However, be it a terrible twos or threes, we do face our challenges to raise our kid. They do misbehave sometimes. So discipline is necessary. You may refer to my previous post: discipline