what's up with caleb??

wowww...I've got alot of updates to share here...where should I start...well, don't have much time here...so I'll try my best..

hmm..remember my previous post I wrote while I was still in Sgp?
1 minggu sebelom balik sby, caleb tiba2 rewel kalo minum susu...rewel banget pake nangis2 dulu dan acara bergulat kalo mau minum susu hehe..nah...ini berlanjut sampe di surabaya..sempet getting better for some time and then puncaknya hari minggu-selasa kmrn ini...wahhh parah banget..krn skrg dia uda bisa maenin tangannya..tiap kali dikasi botol, dia lgs push it away..kepalanya digeleng2 refusing the teat and spit out the milk..really struggling!!! sampe kmrn selasa.I really couldn't stand it and burst out crying..relaly worried that he would be like this for long..how can I cope being alone with him in sgp later?
But just in time..when i came to my limit, both God and my son understood...and within one night, caleb was a total changed boy. Tiba2 aja dia minum susunya pinter banget..ngga pake acara bergulat lg...didn't spit out his milk anymore..realy drinks his milk peacefully until today (which is the 3rd day already..and I hope this is for good)..
i still don't know exactly what caused him to change...but here's my assumptions:
1. the prayer, of course!
2. since monday I stopped breastfeeding him..only gives him expressed breast milk on the bottle. coz i noticed caleb never refused being breasfed for the previous 2 weeks, he only refused bottle fed. so maybe after 2 days stopped breastfeeding him, he finally understood (or forgot about it hehe).
3. I try to feed him a little bit longer than his usual feed hour. kalo biasanya minum formula tiap 2.5 jam on the day, I make it 3 hourly. and maybe this works too..coz by that time he's really hungry so he just directly takes the bottle. a friend told me that babies may refuse the milk because he's not hungry yet.

well, all of the above assumptions..still don't know which one is the real solution (except no 1)...but at that point I was nearly desperate that I tried everything I know...well, anyway this case is solved. praise God. 3 weeks and 2 days people...i've been struggling for that long..phew..!

okay..so you've heard i stopped breastfeeding. To my surprise, it was hard on me too (not just for caleb). Coz since week 5 I was finally able to find the perfect posisition to latch..which is sleeping position..so caleb and me would face each other..and this way i can rest too. And usually he would take 45 mins to latch..and this time spent together was actually a moment of mother and child bonding. I finally AGREE that breastfeed promotes bonding to the child!!!
but at this point i really had no choice, that's why I decided to stop breastfeeding. It's sad...but I had too... I had to train my son here in sby..while at least I have people to help me here...back in sgp, it'll be harder... PLUS, I'm not the kind of mother who is keen with the idea of latching in public...I don't mind breastfeed, but at home..outside, he has to take bottles. but then I got this case..so no choice, I have to choose either one...total bottle feed, or, total breastfeed..and you know the answer...

And since I never latch anymore, of course my supply goes down drastically..now i only pump twice a day..that's only for 2 feeds.. :(

Next update...
i never believed when people tell me that i have a big baby. Coz seeing jordan is much much a bigger baby than caleb..so I think caleb is just normal size of a 2 month old baby. but you know what......after seeing Aurel (caleb's cousin who is just 2 weeks younger)..whoaa...caleb is BIG! Aurel is like half size of caleb! hahahaha....but anyway aurel is a girl..so being petite is cute too :)
I think caleb is now about 6kg..wahh gendong dia skrg uda berat banget..my left arm udah pegel2 dan sering kesemutan kalo gendong dia..
oh yah...skrg caleb uda 2 bulan uda bisa macem2...smakin banyak ngomong ber coo..coo..ria...truz uda bisa masukin tangan ke mulut, uda bisa pegang mainannya instead cuma ngeliatin doang..and he enjoys his bath so much!! i believe he will be a good swimmer some day hehe..

At last,
I'm coming back to sgp in 14 june! knapa dicepetin? karena...kangen daddy-nya of course hehe...dan...pikir2 di sby and sgp juga gak beda banyak lah..di sby my mom can only help at night between 6-9pm..coz she's working on the day. sama aja kan di sgp at that time my hubby juga uda pulang and bisa gantian jaga caleb..at first i wanted to stay longer in sby coz there would be more helpers here..tapi sama aja lah...but I'm still abit scared juga sih haha...well, keep praying aja deh...God favours me and enables me! amen... :)

what a tough week!

everyone...

hello there...been missing for few days..
I've been busy..worried and also quite stressed as well..
my baby prince suddenly has been very fussy before his feed.
he cries everytime we want to feed him..both latch or bottle
sometimes he wants to latch on but other times he refused and cried..

it was frustrating coz he usually has 8-10 feed a day...and before each feed we always struggle..it can take about 1/2-1 hour to finish his milk..
his PD said it might due to wind..and she didn't prescribe any medicine for caleb coz she said it's not like a very bad colic..and he still poo and pee like usual..
BUT it's been a week already...OMG...I'm getting tired...
but anyway..we found out that he can take his milk calmly when he's asleep..but this is difficult to do during the day as he never take a long nap during the day..

and for this reason..i decided to extend my stay in indo..(Originally, I only plan to go back to indo from 12 - 26 May)..but because of this..I feel I am not ready to handle caleb alone in sgp without any helper..so I'll be extending my stay in sby til 27 June..by that time caleb will be 3 months old..(will be missing hubby so much! :( )

meanwhile, dear friends...please pray for caleb that his feeding will be back as usual...

drop by my complaint!

haizz...having cousins who preciously did total BF plus another who popped just 2 weeks after u (also doing total BF) really sometimes frustrating..as mom and cousins and aunts start comparing..that she gives total BF and I do combi BF+FM...(even asked me how much ml I got if I pump..and then telling me my cousin managed to get .. ml ???!!!)

well...tell u what...
I decided to do combi - formula at night and BF during the day...it's not because my milk supply is low..or because I am so lazy to latch at night.
I have my own reasons.
okay..so you all want comparison? let's do the comparison then..
first, they got a stay in nanny...plus a maid to take care of the cleaning
me? although i have nanny now..i have her for 2 months only..and then what? I am all alone taking care of the baby, house and work all by myself! yesss... I am also working people!!!
If I latch at night and wake up every 1.5-2 hour..I'll be exhausted in the morning..dont mention about all the laundry waiting..wouldnt have the energy for that!
at least with formula..I get to sleep longer and have more energy on the next day.
and after doing some research..asking here and there ..seeing proofs...I see alot of friends who did BF only for 1-2 months but their children grow up well..healthy and smart too!
so people..stop comparing and give pressure to me...
when I say I might only do BF for 2 months..that's not a final decision!!!
I'll see how it goes..I might continue til 6 months as well..
but don't interfere with my decision...
your struggle is not the same as mine...I have my own...
Thank God you have nanny..you have maid...and all u need to do is latching and latching..no laundry, no cleaning job, no works...after latching u can catch up some naps...well I'm different okay...try put your shoes in mine...see if u can do it better!

and aunts...OMG...I coundn't believe that you also just breastfed for 2 months only last time but yet now giving me pressures too about why I dont do total BF.. ???? OMG...

so not in the mood of going back to indo now..

my problem is positioning

Alot of people complaining that they have problem with low milk supply...
some complaining the emotional effect that breastfeeding brings..
me? I really want to complain...!!!
my problem..my main problem..is not really on the milk supply or the emotional effect...
but it is on the correct positioning!
sometimes I can spend 5 mins to position my baby to latch...and it becomes harder when he gets cranky and impatient...whoaaa can be a very sweaty moment for both of us!

I'm not sure whether it is because both of us still learning how to do it correctly..or because caleb is confused between the bottle teat and my nipple..i feed him formula at night and my EBM (expressed breast milk) with bottle too in the morning...*sigh*
but I still dont want to give up yet...at least I've to try to goal my 2 months of BF.

my milk supply so far is between 80-100ml now each time pumping...caleb so far can drink 70-80ml. I dont really bother if people say you need to top up some more of milk supply...you've to have milk more than what ur baby needs now..hee...i thought supply=demand..if my baby demands 80, of course my supply will be around that right? why must be so stressed over increasing MS..

about emotional effect..hmm it is confirmed that most women feel the same that I do!!!
Yesterday, I asked ci jeanny if she ever feels some weird, sad sensation everytime she pumps/latch..and u know whatttt...she thought she was the only one who felt that before I mentioned it...it turned out she felt that too..feeling sad til wanted to cry...well I understand thatttt....really couldn't explain how's the feeling..but it's just weird feeling..coz it makes u feel sad over nothing. just want to cry...
thank God lately I can reduce this kind of feeling by thinking something else..just let my mind occupied...
i wonder why I heard so many people telling me that breastfeeding will make you bond with your baby..hmmm ????
to me...I feel the bonding time after I feed my baby (regardless what method i feed him - bottle/latch)...when he seems satisfied and full..I can talk to him, see him smile..cuddle him...he's so adorable...
this kind of time is so much fun..that makes me think if breastfeeding is so struggling that makes me so emotional..then it's not worth it! most importantly, we have to enjoy our time with our babies! haizzz...but again, if talking about quitting, I feel guilty too. The most making sense about breastfeeding that I so agree is that because it gives your baby the immunity against illness. at least this fact makes me holding on to it...keep doing it mummies...try your very very best!
but if somehow you decide to stop...do it peacefully with no regret :)

jiayou