Yesterday evening we were out to have a walk to the mall nearby and Caleb was with us. Isn't it funny that our toddies always demanded to walk when they were still limb and need us to support them to cruise around, and now when they are already so expertise in walking, they demand to be in mommy's arms all the time, refusing to walk alone? This what happens to Caleb..whenever we are out the house, he will automatically want me to carry him. and he is smart as well! I once told him "mommy is tired, Caleb..Can you walk?" and this is how he replied me "ok. daddy carry caleb please".
Another time I told him the same thing when daddy wasn't around, he replied me "mommy tired, Caleb also tired", and by that he meant that mommy had to carry him all the way. Sigh...
Recently I have a new tactic and it works. I will tell him that we will go home now if he insist to be carried. This works and he will walk, holding my hands.
But yesterday as this incident happened, there was an old lady who was jogging along the park and heard our conversation. She approached us and commented to my little prince "yes, you need to walk and cannot ask mommy to carry you all the time. Walking is good to exercise your muscles. You see...aunty also walk and run, it's good for me". And this old woman who seemed to know children well asked me how old my son is and said "do you know that between 2-3 years old is the important period when you as a parent cannot let your child control you?"
Although I know and equipped with this knowledge, this woman brought me another wake up call. I realized that maybe i have been more lenient. Both hubby and I then discussed how important it is to discipline our kid at this age. It's like when you do what you need to do now, although it won't be easy, after 3 yo it won't be so bad anymore because caleb would understand his boundaries well.
And later after that incident, we went out for supper with some close friends after caleb was asleep. And because four of us have children, we talked about our kids as well and we talked about our friends' kids who now grow up tp be teenagers and to our suprise these teens have grown to be rebellious with very bad attitude problem, despite that their parents are dedicated God's people. We talked how could that happen. Is it because lack of discipline, being too protective towards their kids, too lenient? we do not know. But for me, I realized how hard it is to raise our kids, build their godly character, to see them become righteous people who fear God and respect their parents. It's not just a matter of having good financial to send them to good school, feed them or dress them well. Somehow I feel so humble, I feel that I have a lot of weakness and in need of God's wisdom. Now all I want to do is to always pray to God everyday for His wisdom to guide me so that I can raise my kids well. I hope you all will be encouraged to do so. let's humble ourselves and ask God to take control of everything.
p.s. To my friend Sylvia...Congrats dear for your pregnancy. I pray you have smooth pregnancy and delivery! Take care :)
Showing posts with label the wife diary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the wife diary. Show all posts
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Sunday, December 19, 2010
How do I do it?
I had a friend whom last week was left alone by his maid for holiday. He had to do all the houseworks by himself: cooking, cleaning, laundry, groceries. And he asked me "how did u do it all by yourself last time, Nov?"
haha...he made me remember all those days when I had my first newborn baby and no maid/nanny...and no relatives who lives here in Singapore who can come and help me. I just have my hubby and God to help me! I was freaked out at first! But I survived, I guess!
Here's what I did:
+ I cleaned the floor everyday. twice a day. Morning and evening.The floor is important for me. Caleb spent most of his time on the floor and on the bed (when he still couldn't walk), so I took a great deal that these 2 had always to be clean.
+ I cleaned decoration item,furniture, and bathroom once a week. Because it would take an hour to complete everything, I did it either at night after caleb was asleep (7pm) or in the morning when my hubby was still around.
+did laundry and ironed clothes once a week. Did laundry with Caleb around. He would play with the hangers :)
and ironed the clothes at night when he was already asleep.
+cleaned the window every 2 weeks. I hate cleaning windows haha... It was tiring and alot of job. Not to mention, the weather! rained after you cleaned them!
+did errands and groceries with Caleb and hubby in the evening, before Caleb's bedtime.
+I didn't cook but order catering food. I salute moms who could manage to cook as well as doing other house chores and raising a baby.
Please take note:
*I have a very active and curious baby who demand my attention hahaha but thank God I managed to do the houseworks too. That's why having a routine on your baby and having independent time for him help you accomplish your house chores.
*I always clean and tidy up Caleb's toys right after he's done playing with them. I would not wait for him to sleep and clean up, although it was easier to do it when he's not going to create another mess, but by doing this in front of your baby, you are actually teaching and encouraging him to clean his own mess. Once he's able to do it, ask him to help you, first by asking him to put 1 piece of toy back to the toy box. Caleb now always puts back whatever he takes from its original place #payoff days! ^^
* I always cleaned the floor when Caleb was awake, mostly at his independent playtime. So he got to see me doing cleaning everyday. Once he could walk, he wanted to have a broom and a mop and helped me clean the floor. I find it sweet and another good achievement and benefit :D
My hubby once commented that he still found the house was much tidier and cleaner when I was in charge, meaning I did a better job than my maid now.
I couldn't blame the maid though. She had to finish all the house chores (cleaning all the rooms, bathrooms, doing laundry, ironing) and cooking before I leave to work in the afternoon. When I'm working, she has to watch over my son. Unlike me who did some of the chores once a week, she did the complete cleaning everyday. But I take it she's not as detail and perfectionist as me.
I can be a perfectionist when I am doing the chores by myself. But I know with the maid, I couldn't be so demanding. As long as she's doing a good job, that's fine with me.
haha...he made me remember all those days when I had my first newborn baby and no maid/nanny...and no relatives who lives here in Singapore who can come and help me. I just have my hubby and God to help me! I was freaked out at first! But I survived, I guess!
Here's what I did:
+ I cleaned the floor everyday. twice a day. Morning and evening.The floor is important for me. Caleb spent most of his time on the floor and on the bed (when he still couldn't walk), so I took a great deal that these 2 had always to be clean.
+ I cleaned decoration item,furniture, and bathroom once a week. Because it would take an hour to complete everything, I did it either at night after caleb was asleep (7pm) or in the morning when my hubby was still around.
+did laundry and ironed clothes once a week. Did laundry with Caleb around. He would play with the hangers :)
and ironed the clothes at night when he was already asleep.
+cleaned the window every 2 weeks. I hate cleaning windows haha... It was tiring and alot of job. Not to mention, the weather! rained after you cleaned them!
+did errands and groceries with Caleb and hubby in the evening, before Caleb's bedtime.
+I didn't cook but order catering food. I salute moms who could manage to cook as well as doing other house chores and raising a baby.
Please take note:
*I have a very active and curious baby who demand my attention hahaha but thank God I managed to do the houseworks too. That's why having a routine on your baby and having independent time for him help you accomplish your house chores.
*I always clean and tidy up Caleb's toys right after he's done playing with them. I would not wait for him to sleep and clean up, although it was easier to do it when he's not going to create another mess, but by doing this in front of your baby, you are actually teaching and encouraging him to clean his own mess. Once he's able to do it, ask him to help you, first by asking him to put 1 piece of toy back to the toy box. Caleb now always puts back whatever he takes from its original place #payoff days! ^^
* I always cleaned the floor when Caleb was awake, mostly at his independent playtime. So he got to see me doing cleaning everyday. Once he could walk, he wanted to have a broom and a mop and helped me clean the floor. I find it sweet and another good achievement and benefit :D
My hubby once commented that he still found the house was much tidier and cleaner when I was in charge, meaning I did a better job than my maid now.
I couldn't blame the maid though. She had to finish all the house chores (cleaning all the rooms, bathrooms, doing laundry, ironing) and cooking before I leave to work in the afternoon. When I'm working, she has to watch over my son. Unlike me who did some of the chores once a week, she did the complete cleaning everyday. But I take it she's not as detail and perfectionist as me.
I can be a perfectionist when I am doing the chores by myself. But I know with the maid, I couldn't be so demanding. As long as she's doing a good job, that's fine with me.
Friday, December 17, 2010
pouring out my heart
Today I have been talking to a group of moms since morning in my bbm group, I started a topic about how to teach our kid small letters in alphabet. Caleb has recognized all the 26 letters in alphabets but they are all in big letters, and he seems to be confused when I try to teach him small letters. These moms that I asked for an advice, are actually moms with older kids (let's say 2-4 years old) whom I assumed should be able to give me some tips. To my surprise, not all of their 3-4 year old kids have learned the alphabets well. But that's not my point of today's sharing. Out of the topic I brought in, one mom commented and cynically accused me for giving Caleb such a hard time studying in such a young age! She said Caleb should have all his time for playing and not studying as once he starts school, it's a long way and years to go so let him have the fun while he can get one.
Instead of giving me the tips that I asked for, she gave me an advice to step back and relax, don't push too hard on my son. yeah right!
She also gave me a lecture about how moms tend to compare their kids, and if another kid is able to master something earlier than the others, they get panic and try to push their kids to do better by signing them up to phonic class, tuition, etc and resulting unecessary stress for the kid.
ehem... first, let me explain...I have been teaching my son with alphabets, numbers, flashcards since he was able to sit and cruise, which means before he was 1 year old. My reason is because I don't want my son to spend all his time having fun with toys that do not educate him well and then pass the responsibility to teach him academic lesson to his teacher later on. Isn't it shameful when you're not working, a stay at home mom, but there is nothing you do to make a good progress in your son? I'd rather go back to full time working then!
Secondly, if the kid himself is willing to learn, is interested, is curious..wouldn't you want to use this opportunity to teach?
It's not like I sign him in to classes or playgroups. I am teaching him myself and he gets to spend the time with me and not someone else.
my son enjoys his learning time! He has fun! He giggles in victory whenever he guess the alphabet or the picture in the card correctly. what's the stress you're talking about, mom??
Lastly, I hate comparing! and that's why I seldom ask other moms who have children at the same age as Caleb about what their kids have mastered/ can do. I am also not the type of mom who would pressure my son to study and have so many tuitions. If you know Singapore, you know for sure how the education system here is tough! school alone is stressful enough, I wish my son would not need additional tuition so he can have his free time to relax.
Seriously, that was a very ridiculous and unbelievable accuse!
Instead of giving me the tips that I asked for, she gave me an advice to step back and relax, don't push too hard on my son. yeah right!
She also gave me a lecture about how moms tend to compare their kids, and if another kid is able to master something earlier than the others, they get panic and try to push their kids to do better by signing them up to phonic class, tuition, etc and resulting unecessary stress for the kid.
ehem... first, let me explain...I have been teaching my son with alphabets, numbers, flashcards since he was able to sit and cruise, which means before he was 1 year old. My reason is because I don't want my son to spend all his time having fun with toys that do not educate him well and then pass the responsibility to teach him academic lesson to his teacher later on. Isn't it shameful when you're not working, a stay at home mom, but there is nothing you do to make a good progress in your son? I'd rather go back to full time working then!
Secondly, if the kid himself is willing to learn, is interested, is curious..wouldn't you want to use this opportunity to teach?
It's not like I sign him in to classes or playgroups. I am teaching him myself and he gets to spend the time with me and not someone else.
my son enjoys his learning time! He has fun! He giggles in victory whenever he guess the alphabet or the picture in the card correctly. what's the stress you're talking about, mom??
Lastly, I hate comparing! and that's why I seldom ask other moms who have children at the same age as Caleb about what their kids have mastered/ can do. I am also not the type of mom who would pressure my son to study and have so many tuitions. If you know Singapore, you know for sure how the education system here is tough! school alone is stressful enough, I wish my son would not need additional tuition so he can have his free time to relax.
Seriously, that was a very ridiculous and unbelievable accuse!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Happy Husband
I was listening to pastor's sermon cd at home just now and Caleb woke up twice. He walked out the room...first with crying and second looking confused and rubbed his eyes..he must have wondered if he was in church hahaha..or if pastor visited us??
Anyway, I am happy I get the cd coz we missed out this good sermon because we went back to indo. The first sermon's title is happy husband, second one is happy wife. Today I listened the happy husband (not finished yet due to Caleb waking up).
But I like what pastor said. He said that a man's success is determined by the level of his wife's happiness. If a man is rich and all but his wife is living and feeling miserably then you cannot say he is a success man. Pastor also encouraged all husbands to treat and appreciate their wives. To bring us to nice restaurant, to buy us some make ups, to make sure we eat well and dress well...
Because you will grow old together..and someday your children will leave you, and it will just be the two of you. So make sure your wife will look good and live well...(And she will only look good if she is well taken care since you both are young).
I do not write this in a hope that my hubby will read this and get a clue of how he is supposed to treat me (I know he will read this post). No...in fact, I want to say thank you for being a good husband and has done all the things that pastor said before you have even listened to this sermon.
I love you, honey..I'm thankful to have you.
Good night..(can you stop playing WE now? =_=)
Anyway, I am happy I get the cd coz we missed out this good sermon because we went back to indo. The first sermon's title is happy husband, second one is happy wife. Today I listened the happy husband (not finished yet due to Caleb waking up).
But I like what pastor said. He said that a man's success is determined by the level of his wife's happiness. If a man is rich and all but his wife is living and feeling miserably then you cannot say he is a success man. Pastor also encouraged all husbands to treat and appreciate their wives. To bring us to nice restaurant, to buy us some make ups, to make sure we eat well and dress well...
Because you will grow old together..and someday your children will leave you, and it will just be the two of you. So make sure your wife will look good and live well...(And she will only look good if she is well taken care since you both are young).
I do not write this in a hope that my hubby will read this and get a clue of how he is supposed to treat me (I know he will read this post). No...in fact, I want to say thank you for being a good husband and has done all the things that pastor said before you have even listened to this sermon.
I love you, honey..I'm thankful to have you.
Good night..(can you stop playing WE now? =_=)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
the helper
when I made my decision to go back to work..my main concern is of course my Caleb and to find a good maid that I can trust with caleb.
but I believe if this is what God wants me to do, everything will just fall at the right place and He will take care all my concerns.
and I believe it is not a coincidence that I finally get a good maid that I can trust.
Not only I know her for a long time already, but I also know that she's a good cook, takes care of the house well and good with kids too.
But still..at first I was still concerned that caleb would adapt easily to her, knowing my son is so attached to his mommy..and so far he only wants to be carried by my, daddy or uncle benny..
But Last monday, this maid that I'm going to hire soon stay with us for a week..actually the purpose is for trial..just to see whether we all can get along with her..whether she's really as good as people say..and most importantly to get Caleb familiar with her around..
and you know what...this first day she stayed with us..Caleb, SURPRISINGLY, loves her! and for the first time I saw him running towards a stranger, giggling and even let her carry him..and he was actually playing with her at the playground for an hour without mommy and daddy!!!
I am so surprised because this is more than what I expect..i mean it was only the first day, you know... I was thinking it will take like 3 days??? but no...1 day is enough...just the minute he saw her...he was actually fine with her! amazing right?
and so for the whole week...I and hubby really have a good life hahaha...
we enjoy life! ^^
when caleb wakes up, we bring him to the helper and they will go down to play...and we will continue our sleep..and even we have time to read bible n pray in the morning, no need to rush...
and we love her cooking as well...but sadly i think we gain weight again :(
and I just love to see my house clean and tidy without me having to do it!!
and then when we go eat outside, we can sit and eat peacefully and enjoy chatting with friends while Caleb is with the maid..walking here and there...
so good right?
Although, I will hire her eventually...which will only happen next month..I feel like I dont want her to leave..I feel like I want to hire her NOW!! feels so good to have a helper that I dont want those days without a helper to come back :(
but I believe if this is what God wants me to do, everything will just fall at the right place and He will take care all my concerns.
and I believe it is not a coincidence that I finally get a good maid that I can trust.
Not only I know her for a long time already, but I also know that she's a good cook, takes care of the house well and good with kids too.
But still..at first I was still concerned that caleb would adapt easily to her, knowing my son is so attached to his mommy..and so far he only wants to be carried by my, daddy or uncle benny..
But Last monday, this maid that I'm going to hire soon stay with us for a week..actually the purpose is for trial..just to see whether we all can get along with her..whether she's really as good as people say..and most importantly to get Caleb familiar with her around..
and you know what...this first day she stayed with us..Caleb, SURPRISINGLY, loves her! and for the first time I saw him running towards a stranger, giggling and even let her carry him..and he was actually playing with her at the playground for an hour without mommy and daddy!!!
I am so surprised because this is more than what I expect..i mean it was only the first day, you know... I was thinking it will take like 3 days??? but no...1 day is enough...just the minute he saw her...he was actually fine with her! amazing right?
and so for the whole week...I and hubby really have a good life hahaha...
we enjoy life! ^^
when caleb wakes up, we bring him to the helper and they will go down to play...and we will continue our sleep..and even we have time to read bible n pray in the morning, no need to rush...
and we love her cooking as well...but sadly i think we gain weight again :(
and I just love to see my house clean and tidy without me having to do it!!
and then when we go eat outside, we can sit and eat peacefully and enjoy chatting with friends while Caleb is with the maid..walking here and there...
so good right?
Although, I will hire her eventually...which will only happen next month..I feel like I dont want her to leave..I feel like I want to hire her NOW!! feels so good to have a helper that I dont want those days without a helper to come back :(
BIG NEWS!
yupp people.. BIG BIG NEWS! the mommy in this house will be hiring a HELPER soon!!
whooooaaa....why so sudden??
Becauseee.....
I'll be going back to work soon too!!
yup..!
this is another big news!
well...it's a part time job actually...
but it's still a BIG decision for me to make! and so that makes it a BIG news!
whooooaaa....why so sudden??
Becauseee.....
I'll be going back to work soon too!!
yup..!
this is another big news!
well...it's a part time job actually...
but it's still a BIG decision for me to make! and so that makes it a BIG news!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Disciplining my lil boy
Over the past few weeks, it has been a tough struggle on us to go outing with Caleb.
He would act like...so uncontrollable! He did this only when we go out.. at home he is one sweet boy.
well okay..how uncontrollable?
On the MRT.. he would refuse to sit on his stroller. he would scream and scream and scream until we get him out of it. if we didn't get him out, he could manage to get himself out of the seat belt and standing on the stroller!!! (tips: when u purchase a stroller, choose the one with the seatbelt which covers both shoulder, not just the waist area!).
If we get him out, do you think he will sit quietly on my lap? NO!
he wants to walk around the mrt. He again would scream if I didn't let him. If I carry him, he would wrestle me, arch his back..and Omg..he is one little strong boy (well, he is CALEB..meaning: a mighty warrior!), I hurt my wrist last week because of wrestling with him!
Definetely it's a 'make a scene' one everytime we are on MRT! people staring... maybe thinking "naughty boy" ... or "lucky my son is nothing like that" hee..honestly I'm not sure whether they really think that way..maybe it's just me being embarrased..but definetely this people are bothered by the noise that Caleb made!
And then when we get into our destination, he also wants to walk..alone! without holding my hand. He walks like a king who owns the street..definetely blocking people's way!
If we carry him, he again will cry and scream and wrestle us. sigh..
When we have our meals on the restaurant, he will only sit on his highchair..15 mins is the most..and he will make so much mess! he will take chopsticks, tissues, spoon and throw them everywhere on the floor! After 15 mins, he will cry in boredom and ask to walk around again.
These have of course ruined our outing..and we, the parents, couldn't enjoy what is called our hang out days..we had even started to feel so discouraged to go out again. This is when we realized we have to do something about it. And so we plan to do this: DISCIPLINE!
The plan is to make Caleb sit on stroller and behaves well whenever we are on the mrt and in whatever situation that requires him to sit properly. Of course, I thought to myself..this would not be easy. He would definetely cry and cry and cry...and we, the parents, need to stay firm and be consistent...meaning: we cant let him cry on day 1 and tomorrow we get him out from stroller..inconsistency will make it worse..coz he will think that his cry is a weapon to get what he wants. So for the whole last week we trained him every evening, we would go somewhere nearby home..whether to the park, grocery etc..but we make it that every evening we will go out just for the sake to train caleb. Surprisingly, he didn't cry or scream as much as on the mrt. to our surpise too..the training wasn't even as tough as we predicted. So we think..maybe because when he was on the stroller, we kept pushing the stroller and he got to see different view along the way that distarct him. but on the mrt, the stroller will not move and he has to sit there with the same view. I cant train him on MRT!!I just don't know how long I can stand the crying with people staring at me..people will think why the mommy never do something to make the child stop crying??
Unfortunately, yesterday we had a dinner invitation. My hubby had 2 meetings in a row in the afternoon so I had to leave with Caleb alone. Honestly, I had no plan how I would handle the situation if Caleb is making a scene again. So when I was about to leave the house, I said to caleb: Kay, we are going to have dinner outside. we are going to take mrt and I need you to sit well on your stroller until we reach to the restaurant. You cannot cry, scream etc. Sit until we reach there, okay.
you know what..I dont know whether he meant what he said, but he did say "okay". I have no idea whether he understood or he just anyhow say ok whenever I ask him 'ok?'.
On the way to MRT, I said in my heart "Jesus, I may have no control over this situation, but I believe You, God, take control of every situation that is out of my hands and so I believe You will take control of Caleb and I know You can change him"
It has been 2 days now, 2 outings so far..going and coming back home and at the restaurant.. Caleb behaves well. he sits. and stays sit until we reach to our destination. No screaming and crying or making any scene. And if he fuss abit.. I remind him he has to sit. And he just suddenly is satisfied with the raisins I give him as a snack a long the way at mrt.
I don't know if the discipline training over the past whole week really works well on him.. or the things I said to him, he understood and obeyed..but one thing I'm sure is..that God is in control. He has changed my boy..now he is one sweet boy not only at home but also outside.
Now everytime I'm going out, I will talk to him first about he has to sit and that he has to behave well...and of course I tell myself "God is in control, relax..!"
Sometimes we tend to forget how to surrender to God...
parenting is tough. disciplining our child is a tough job. as he gets older, there will be more discipline training for him. we often use many techinques, tips etc...it's not wrong to do that..but remember...by surrending to God, we allow Him to take control of every situation..He takes control of our child too.
He would act like...so uncontrollable! He did this only when we go out.. at home he is one sweet boy.
well okay..how uncontrollable?
On the MRT.. he would refuse to sit on his stroller. he would scream and scream and scream until we get him out of it. if we didn't get him out, he could manage to get himself out of the seat belt and standing on the stroller!!! (tips: when u purchase a stroller, choose the one with the seatbelt which covers both shoulder, not just the waist area!).
If we get him out, do you think he will sit quietly on my lap? NO!
he wants to walk around the mrt. He again would scream if I didn't let him. If I carry him, he would wrestle me, arch his back..and Omg..he is one little strong boy (well, he is CALEB..meaning: a mighty warrior!), I hurt my wrist last week because of wrestling with him!
Definetely it's a 'make a scene' one everytime we are on MRT! people staring... maybe thinking "naughty boy" ... or "lucky my son is nothing like that" hee..honestly I'm not sure whether they really think that way..maybe it's just me being embarrased..but definetely this people are bothered by the noise that Caleb made!
And then when we get into our destination, he also wants to walk..alone! without holding my hand. He walks like a king who owns the street..definetely blocking people's way!
If we carry him, he again will cry and scream and wrestle us. sigh..
When we have our meals on the restaurant, he will only sit on his highchair..15 mins is the most..and he will make so much mess! he will take chopsticks, tissues, spoon and throw them everywhere on the floor! After 15 mins, he will cry in boredom and ask to walk around again.
These have of course ruined our outing..and we, the parents, couldn't enjoy what is called our hang out days..we had even started to feel so discouraged to go out again. This is when we realized we have to do something about it. And so we plan to do this: DISCIPLINE!
The plan is to make Caleb sit on stroller and behaves well whenever we are on the mrt and in whatever situation that requires him to sit properly. Of course, I thought to myself..this would not be easy. He would definetely cry and cry and cry...and we, the parents, need to stay firm and be consistent...meaning: we cant let him cry on day 1 and tomorrow we get him out from stroller..inconsistency will make it worse..coz he will think that his cry is a weapon to get what he wants. So for the whole last week we trained him every evening, we would go somewhere nearby home..whether to the park, grocery etc..but we make it that every evening we will go out just for the sake to train caleb. Surprisingly, he didn't cry or scream as much as on the mrt. to our surpise too..the training wasn't even as tough as we predicted. So we think..maybe because when he was on the stroller, we kept pushing the stroller and he got to see different view along the way that distarct him. but on the mrt, the stroller will not move and he has to sit there with the same view. I cant train him on MRT!!I just don't know how long I can stand the crying with people staring at me..people will think why the mommy never do something to make the child stop crying??
Unfortunately, yesterday we had a dinner invitation. My hubby had 2 meetings in a row in the afternoon so I had to leave with Caleb alone. Honestly, I had no plan how I would handle the situation if Caleb is making a scene again. So when I was about to leave the house, I said to caleb: Kay, we are going to have dinner outside. we are going to take mrt and I need you to sit well on your stroller until we reach to the restaurant. You cannot cry, scream etc. Sit until we reach there, okay.
you know what..I dont know whether he meant what he said, but he did say "okay". I have no idea whether he understood or he just anyhow say ok whenever I ask him 'ok?'.
On the way to MRT, I said in my heart "Jesus, I may have no control over this situation, but I believe You, God, take control of every situation that is out of my hands and so I believe You will take control of Caleb and I know You can change him"
It has been 2 days now, 2 outings so far..going and coming back home and at the restaurant.. Caleb behaves well. he sits. and stays sit until we reach to our destination. No screaming and crying or making any scene. And if he fuss abit.. I remind him he has to sit. And he just suddenly is satisfied with the raisins I give him as a snack a long the way at mrt.
I don't know if the discipline training over the past whole week really works well on him.. or the things I said to him, he understood and obeyed..but one thing I'm sure is..that God is in control. He has changed my boy..now he is one sweet boy not only at home but also outside.
Now everytime I'm going out, I will talk to him first about he has to sit and that he has to behave well...and of course I tell myself "God is in control, relax..!"
Sometimes we tend to forget how to surrender to God...
parenting is tough. disciplining our child is a tough job. as he gets older, there will be more discipline training for him. we often use many techinques, tips etc...it's not wrong to do that..but remember...by surrending to God, we allow Him to take control of every situation..He takes control of our child too.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
the flu and the teething
Teman-temankuw... dan para mommies... post kali ini bakal cerita ttg apa yang terjadi 2 minggu ini yang sebenernya nggak bisa diungkapkan dengan kata-kata bagaimana persisnya untuk describe how I was feeling tapi buat para mommies yang pernah ngalamin...I know you would understand! and to those moms yang happen to read this as a reference, encouragement, precaution, prevention or whatever...my heart goes to you...hang in there!
Lanjut dari post aku yang terakhir..ngabarin kalo si Caleb flu plus molar-nya numbuh kan..
I thought since his molar has cut through, things will get better...EXCEPT that it just didn't!! It was much much worse! This time is the worst flu and teething that created alot of confusion, frustration, depression, boredom, and whatsoever u name it..
Well..that thursday evening (last 2 weeks), hubby pulang minta diukur suhunya..dia bilang kayanya fever tinggi neh...(hadohh my heart langsung sank down gituh...udah anak sakit, suami sakit...gw kayak single fighter di rumah ini..). trus beneran suhunya 39-an!!!
dan gak tau napa..mother's instinc-ku bilang something bad going to happen..and somehow kayak ada 2 suara yang bertentangan di hati:
A - Caleb aman lah ga bakal tertular. justru dia yang nularin daddy-nya and dia kan uda fever duluan and uda sembuh mestinya gak bakal tertular lagi krn udah ada kekebalan tubuhnya.
B - Caleb kayanya bakal tertular fevernya nih..somehow I just got this feeling!
kira-kira yang bener yang mana? yak..mother's instinc won without a prize!
kamis malem aku ngga bisa tidur..terus2an ngecek dahi Caleb...sampe akhirnya subuh2 gitu pas aku kebangun aku pegang dahinya..gila panas bgt..lgs cepet ambil thermometer..it was 39.8!!!
Jumat langsung ke dokter deh. tapi pas di dokter panasnya malah turun krn baru minum obat. Cuma buat precaution, disuruh test influenza krn panasnya tinggi and hubby juga mesti test krn dia juga fever tinggi. Puji Tuhan hasilnya negative.
Dokter cuma kasi antibiotik akhirnya.
And so the fever went on and on..up and down..up and down...
by the 3rd day emang uda gak pernah nyampe 39 lagi..paling tinggi juga 38.3 cuma anehnya it never really subsided!! Suami uda gak fever by 3rd day walau masih lemes sih.
By day 5 I seriously got worried karena fever due to flu biasanya cuma 4-5 hari aja..tapi ini kok nggak ada tanda2 getting better.
So I asked around and I got info from 3 friends saying that anak mereka juga flu barengan ama teething, resulting fevernya lama banget. Malah ada yang 10 hari baru sembuh. denger 10 hari rasanya kayak mau pingsan deh..lama bener!
Dan lucunya yah..banyak dokter nggak percaya kalo teething itu bisa bikin fever. Anehnya lagi banyak kasus tumbuh gigi graham barengan ama flu. Does it mean pas numbuh graham daya tahan anak jadi melemah? I think I read that somewhere...
But seriously... bener2 bingung jadinya..ini Caleb sakit apa..bener ngga cuma flu biasa and tumbuh gigi. Dokter uda bilang kalo tumbuh gigi gak bakal fever. Kalo aku bawa ke dokter lagi bisa disuruh test darah, kasi obat ini itu...aduh bener ngga tega deh..kalo ternyata beneran krn gigi tapi uda terlanjur test ini itu, minum obat macem2..kasian anaknya dong..
by day 6 juga masih sama..bedanya fevernya cuma 37.6 paling tinggi..
day 7...highest was 37.3
day 8... praise God fever has totally gone!
til now..it's a mystery whether it's really the flu or the molar.
But I did consult to another doctor whom to my surprise agreed that teething can cause fever and he did say not to worry about this prolonged fever..it seems that caleb was just having a tooth cut through.
but friends and mommies..
I tell u..these 2 weeks bukan cuma draining my physical tapi juga mentally. Stress banget bangettt...liat anak yang biasanya ceria dan aktif..kerjanya cuma tidur mulu, kalo dia bangun..bisanya nangis, minta gendong..sama sekali ngga mau diturunin ke bawah...kebayang kan capeknya gimana..
belom lagi saat itu hubby juga sakit...aku sendiri pun juga flu (tapi puji Tuhan yah...ajaib banget cuma aku doang yang ngga sampe tertular fever dan nggak tau kekuatan yg Tuhan kasi buat aku tuh luar biasa..baru pertama kali flu tapi gak berasa headache or lemes2...cuma meler2 doang..gak kebayang kalo aku ikutan lemes n fever!).. PLUS tiap malem slm 2 minggu ini tidur cuma 2-3 jam :(( -- ini baru capek physical..
secara mental...berasa depressed banget krn ngga tau ini sakit apa kok lama bener..ngga pernah flu seperti ini biasanya..dan pressure banget denger suara anak nangis, rewel setiap hari :((
and felt so isolated juga..being at home mulu...ngga bisa turun ke bawah walalu cuma ke taman seperti biasanya tiap sore..takut Caleb masuk angin..jadi sumpek mulu bawaannya di rumah :((
belom lagi bingung antara bawa dokter apa nggak..rasanya maju mundur salah...bawa dokter kalo ntar di test macem2 pdhl anak gpp..kasian kan...tapi kalo ga ke dokter lagi trus ternyata ada apa2??
dan walau day 7 uda no more fever, tapi my worries belom reda juga loh...karena Caleb ntah napa kok masih lemes aja, masih clingy, masih nangis2...buat aku jadi tambah bingung ini kenapa toh..mestinya uda gpp, uda sembuh tapi kok masih rewel aja. disuruh jalan juga nggak mau.
dan pas kita bawa ke taman, dia sama sekali nggak mau say hi ke stangers like he used to. aduhhh sedih banget deh...ke mana anakku yang friendly ini...rasanya penyakitnya kali ini really cost us alot..ngga cuma money, tapi dari banyak aspek life and mood kita smua. asli sedih bangettt
day 8. lega krn fever bener2 uda gak balik jadi confirm sembuh. hari ini ada sedikit kemajuan...Caleb uda mau jalan sendiri walau jalannya masih kaku gitu... 1 minggu dia nggak jalan sih..jadi ototnya kaku. trus dia uda mau say hi ke strangers di food court. cuma kalo orang itu mulai godain caleb terlalu aggresive, Caleb malah nangis kayak ketakutan gitu...kaya berasa insecured.
day 9. Caleb tadi ke gereja..udah mau say hi ke banyak orang dan uda ngga nangis kalo ada yang aggresive deketin dia tapi dia tetep keliatan masih ngga mau diganggu. well..at least udah better lah.. I hope dia soon balik to his old self which mommy miss so much!
Pokoknya ini the worst experience as me being mommy deh...anak dan suami sakit..OMG..
mana saya tidak pake pembantu, suster dsb.. nggak ada relatives yg bisa dateng dan give a hand..my hope comes from God only dah..
nah..yah begitu deh ceritanya...
I have no idea the next tooth yang tumbuh bakal kaya gini lagi ngga but I cross my finger and pray so hard that it wont happen again! please..please...please...
(note: but mommies..dont worry every child is different..urs might not have fever or diarrhea or loss appetite or etc during teething, but if ur child has it...i tell u now that u're not alone..there are other mommies too beside me, who has consoled and encouraged me for they have first been through this, so hang in there okay..)
Lanjut dari post aku yang terakhir..ngabarin kalo si Caleb flu plus molar-nya numbuh kan..
I thought since his molar has cut through, things will get better...EXCEPT that it just didn't!! It was much much worse! This time is the worst flu and teething that created alot of confusion, frustration, depression, boredom, and whatsoever u name it..
Well..that thursday evening (last 2 weeks), hubby pulang minta diukur suhunya..dia bilang kayanya fever tinggi neh...(hadohh my heart langsung sank down gituh...udah anak sakit, suami sakit...gw kayak single fighter di rumah ini..). trus beneran suhunya 39-an!!!
dan gak tau napa..mother's instinc-ku bilang something bad going to happen..and somehow kayak ada 2 suara yang bertentangan di hati:
A - Caleb aman lah ga bakal tertular. justru dia yang nularin daddy-nya and dia kan uda fever duluan and uda sembuh mestinya gak bakal tertular lagi krn udah ada kekebalan tubuhnya.
B - Caleb kayanya bakal tertular fevernya nih..somehow I just got this feeling!
kira-kira yang bener yang mana? yak..mother's instinc won without a prize!
kamis malem aku ngga bisa tidur..terus2an ngecek dahi Caleb...sampe akhirnya subuh2 gitu pas aku kebangun aku pegang dahinya..gila panas bgt..lgs cepet ambil thermometer..it was 39.8!!!
Jumat langsung ke dokter deh. tapi pas di dokter panasnya malah turun krn baru minum obat. Cuma buat precaution, disuruh test influenza krn panasnya tinggi and hubby juga mesti test krn dia juga fever tinggi. Puji Tuhan hasilnya negative.
Dokter cuma kasi antibiotik akhirnya.
And so the fever went on and on..up and down..up and down...
by the 3rd day emang uda gak pernah nyampe 39 lagi..paling tinggi juga 38.3 cuma anehnya it never really subsided!! Suami uda gak fever by 3rd day walau masih lemes sih.
By day 5 I seriously got worried karena fever due to flu biasanya cuma 4-5 hari aja..tapi ini kok nggak ada tanda2 getting better.
So I asked around and I got info from 3 friends saying that anak mereka juga flu barengan ama teething, resulting fevernya lama banget. Malah ada yang 10 hari baru sembuh. denger 10 hari rasanya kayak mau pingsan deh..lama bener!
Dan lucunya yah..banyak dokter nggak percaya kalo teething itu bisa bikin fever. Anehnya lagi banyak kasus tumbuh gigi graham barengan ama flu. Does it mean pas numbuh graham daya tahan anak jadi melemah? I think I read that somewhere...
But seriously... bener2 bingung jadinya..ini Caleb sakit apa..bener ngga cuma flu biasa and tumbuh gigi. Dokter uda bilang kalo tumbuh gigi gak bakal fever. Kalo aku bawa ke dokter lagi bisa disuruh test darah, kasi obat ini itu...aduh bener ngga tega deh..kalo ternyata beneran krn gigi tapi uda terlanjur test ini itu, minum obat macem2..kasian anaknya dong..
by day 6 juga masih sama..bedanya fevernya cuma 37.6 paling tinggi..
day 7...highest was 37.3
day 8... praise God fever has totally gone!
til now..it's a mystery whether it's really the flu or the molar.
But I did consult to another doctor whom to my surprise agreed that teething can cause fever and he did say not to worry about this prolonged fever..it seems that caleb was just having a tooth cut through.
but friends and mommies..
I tell u..these 2 weeks bukan cuma draining my physical tapi juga mentally. Stress banget bangettt...liat anak yang biasanya ceria dan aktif..kerjanya cuma tidur mulu, kalo dia bangun..bisanya nangis, minta gendong..sama sekali ngga mau diturunin ke bawah...kebayang kan capeknya gimana..
belom lagi saat itu hubby juga sakit...aku sendiri pun juga flu (tapi puji Tuhan yah...ajaib banget cuma aku doang yang ngga sampe tertular fever dan nggak tau kekuatan yg Tuhan kasi buat aku tuh luar biasa..baru pertama kali flu tapi gak berasa headache or lemes2...cuma meler2 doang..gak kebayang kalo aku ikutan lemes n fever!).. PLUS tiap malem slm 2 minggu ini tidur cuma 2-3 jam :(( -- ini baru capek physical..
secara mental...berasa depressed banget krn ngga tau ini sakit apa kok lama bener..ngga pernah flu seperti ini biasanya..dan pressure banget denger suara anak nangis, rewel setiap hari :((
and felt so isolated juga..being at home mulu...ngga bisa turun ke bawah walalu cuma ke taman seperti biasanya tiap sore..takut Caleb masuk angin..jadi sumpek mulu bawaannya di rumah :((
belom lagi bingung antara bawa dokter apa nggak..rasanya maju mundur salah...bawa dokter kalo ntar di test macem2 pdhl anak gpp..kasian kan...tapi kalo ga ke dokter lagi trus ternyata ada apa2??
dan walau day 7 uda no more fever, tapi my worries belom reda juga loh...karena Caleb ntah napa kok masih lemes aja, masih clingy, masih nangis2...buat aku jadi tambah bingung ini kenapa toh..mestinya uda gpp, uda sembuh tapi kok masih rewel aja. disuruh jalan juga nggak mau.
dan pas kita bawa ke taman, dia sama sekali nggak mau say hi ke stangers like he used to. aduhhh sedih banget deh...ke mana anakku yang friendly ini...rasanya penyakitnya kali ini really cost us alot..ngga cuma money, tapi dari banyak aspek life and mood kita smua. asli sedih bangettt
day 8. lega krn fever bener2 uda gak balik jadi confirm sembuh. hari ini ada sedikit kemajuan...Caleb uda mau jalan sendiri walau jalannya masih kaku gitu... 1 minggu dia nggak jalan sih..jadi ototnya kaku. trus dia uda mau say hi ke strangers di food court. cuma kalo orang itu mulai godain caleb terlalu aggresive, Caleb malah nangis kayak ketakutan gitu...kaya berasa insecured.
day 9. Caleb tadi ke gereja..udah mau say hi ke banyak orang dan uda ngga nangis kalo ada yang aggresive deketin dia tapi dia tetep keliatan masih ngga mau diganggu. well..at least udah better lah.. I hope dia soon balik to his old self which mommy miss so much!
Pokoknya ini the worst experience as me being mommy deh...anak dan suami sakit..OMG..
mana saya tidak pake pembantu, suster dsb.. nggak ada relatives yg bisa dateng dan give a hand..my hope comes from God only dah..
nah..yah begitu deh ceritanya...
I have no idea the next tooth yang tumbuh bakal kaya gini lagi ngga but I cross my finger and pray so hard that it wont happen again! please..please...please...
(note: but mommies..dont worry every child is different..urs might not have fever or diarrhea or loss appetite or etc during teething, but if ur child has it...i tell u now that u're not alone..there are other mommies too beside me, who has consoled and encouraged me for they have first been through this, so hang in there okay..)
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
the wife finally had REAL FUN
Thanks to my dear hubby who MADE me go out and have fun with my 2 ladies :)
If he didn't push me to go out, I wouldn't have the fun that I need
I mean this is like my first time going out with my ladies friends since I have Caleb..and it felt so good... it felt good to wear clothes that I can't wear if I go out with Caleb..you know those wide or V neck that can be pulled easily by Caleb when I carry him..and it felt good to know that I can stay in my seat without having to attend to my bored baby who needs to walk around and also to finish my meal and drink without rushing ^^
mothers do need to get away from their babies sometimes...YES, they do!! it's a need!
really..you need to have some balance in your life to keep you sane, out from your routine..
So really thanks to my best gals too: Lisa and Maria.. for giving their time for this outing according to my timing... hee... I wanted to have dinner with them actually..but couldn't leave my hubby with caleb for a solid 3 hours..that's a very long time for my hubby hehehe..I've never left him alone with Caleb that long..so I told them I can only make it by 8pm.
we had our starbucks and continued to shokudo :)
really had a good catch up and updates with each other!
and please...to 'u know who u are'... I know you follow my blog..please don't be scared when u read my posts about raising a child! I did write that it's been abundant joy too to have a child, didn't I? u know..despite the sacrifice you'll have to make..but still...children are such blessings in our life...and get maried is FANTASTIC.. I love being married..seriously!
so.."u know who u are"...get married and have children please...ASAP!!!
you know where to send the invitation :)
If he didn't push me to go out, I wouldn't have the fun that I need
I mean this is like my first time going out with my ladies friends since I have Caleb..and it felt so good... it felt good to wear clothes that I can't wear if I go out with Caleb..you know those wide or V neck that can be pulled easily by Caleb when I carry him..and it felt good to know that I can stay in my seat without having to attend to my bored baby who needs to walk around and also to finish my meal and drink without rushing ^^
mothers do need to get away from their babies sometimes...YES, they do!! it's a need!
really..you need to have some balance in your life to keep you sane, out from your routine..
So really thanks to my best gals too: Lisa and Maria.. for giving their time for this outing according to my timing... hee... I wanted to have dinner with them actually..but couldn't leave my hubby with caleb for a solid 3 hours..that's a very long time for my hubby hehehe..I've never left him alone with Caleb that long..so I told them I can only make it by 8pm.
we had our starbucks and continued to shokudo :)
really had a good catch up and updates with each other!
and please...to 'u know who u are'... I know you follow my blog..please don't be scared when u read my posts about raising a child! I did write that it's been abundant joy too to have a child, didn't I? u know..despite the sacrifice you'll have to make..but still...children are such blessings in our life...and get maried is FANTASTIC.. I love being married..seriously!
so.."u know who u are"...get married and have children please...ASAP!!!
you know where to send the invitation :)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
When hubby is on ministry
when he is on ministry..WL lah..Kotbah lah dll...there will always be challenges that I have to face!
Seperti hari ini aja...hubby WL kan... jadi dari kmrn malem aku uda harus siapin smua keperluan Caleb utk besok paginya and harus bener2 organize supaya besok gak telat dateng gereja..jadi udah repot banget...capek lagi kan abis pulang gennext...ini saat2nya hrs jaga hati krn biasanya kalo uda capek kan gampang emosi..and when someone is serving, pasti banyak serangan2 makanya kudu jaga hati...gak jarang istri n anak jd kena serang kan..
dan hari ini capekkk banget...nih ya kronologisnya:
*make sure caleb bangun agak siangan...supaya dia cukup tidur, dan ga kecapekan di grj krn semalem pulang telat dari gennext...nah itu uda deg2an..takut dia bangun lbh awal...jadi dari jam 7.20 uda tepok2in pantatnya supaya tidurnya lamaan...akhirnya berhasil...dia bangun 8.20 phew...lega...on schedule!
*trus acara berikutnya...suapin caleb, mandiin dia and then aku mandi n siap2...liatin jam mulu...kalo bisa slese jam 9 bisa naek mrt...kalo lewat jam 9, naek taxi...akhirnya naek taxi juga...
tapi asli capek banget buru2 mulu...mana barang yg mau dibawa banyak bener..
*telp taxi susah bangettt....daerah rumah kalo jam2 pagi gini jarang taxi...setelah 15 menit baru dapet taxi...aduhh uda panik banget kalo ga dapet taxi, mesti naek mrt lebih telat lagi dong...
karena paniknya bukan karena ngga enak telat ke grj..tapi krn caleb harus tidur by 10 am..which is pas kebaktian mulai..jadi kalo aku nyampe grj telat, caleb juga tidurnya siangnya telat...takut cranky aja kalo telat tidur...krn dia ga mau ditidurin di taxi/mrt...yang ada slm perjalanan dia bisa rewel juga krn ngantuk!!!
* di taxi sibuk entertain caleb supaya ga bosen...haduhhh pengen cepet sampe aja...dan berdoa ngga macet di CTE
pas di taxi sempet termenung n berpikir..kok dari pagi isinya buru2 dan deg2an mulu hati ini...and selalu begini kalo suami pelayanan and aku harus berangkat sendiri sama Caleb..really, it's not easy...walau in the end smuanya lancar...but really..it's not easy..
*nyampe gereja on time akhirnya...skrg kasih caleb minum susu sblm nap...deg2an juga..mau gak yaaaa...soalnya di grj dia banyak distraction..kadang suka ga mau minum susu...untung tadi mau sih...
*trus akhirnya waktunya nidurin dia juga...caleb lebih gampang tidur kalo ada musik..walau musiknya keras banget dia tetep bisa tidur..TAPII hari ini dia susah banget tidurnya...uda hampir tutup mata..eh denger suara daddy-nya ngomong, dia melek lagi...trus transisi antara 1 lagu ke lagu lainnya..jemaat kan tepuk tangan tuh...caleb melek lagi...haizzz selama 30 menit gendongin dia..pegelll banget..uda gak kuat jujur aja...asli BERATT banget...uda pengen nangis saking ga kuatnya..tapi mo gimana...ga bole give up...karena ini anak uda ngantuk banget krn uda yawning bbrp kali...kalo sampe ga ditidurin saat itu juga bisa cranky...akhirnya paksa2in...
untung merem juga pas lagu worship terakhir...phew...
aduhh yah gitu deh perjuangan kalo suami lagi pelayanan...berasa sendirian jagain anak...
capeknya bukan di fisik aja..tapi krn deg2an ngeburu waktu itu loh yang bikin pressure dan capeknya ngalir ke badan juga akhirnya...
tapi setelah hubby selesai pelayanan..langsung lega...and seneng bisa have fun sama temen2...dan akhirnya bisa melupakan semua tantangan tadi :)
Seperti hari ini aja...hubby WL kan... jadi dari kmrn malem aku uda harus siapin smua keperluan Caleb utk besok paginya and harus bener2 organize supaya besok gak telat dateng gereja..jadi udah repot banget...capek lagi kan abis pulang gennext...ini saat2nya hrs jaga hati krn biasanya kalo uda capek kan gampang emosi..and when someone is serving, pasti banyak serangan2 makanya kudu jaga hati...gak jarang istri n anak jd kena serang kan..
dan hari ini capekkk banget...nih ya kronologisnya:
*make sure caleb bangun agak siangan...supaya dia cukup tidur, dan ga kecapekan di grj krn semalem pulang telat dari gennext...nah itu uda deg2an..takut dia bangun lbh awal...jadi dari jam 7.20 uda tepok2in pantatnya supaya tidurnya lamaan...akhirnya berhasil...dia bangun 8.20 phew...lega...on schedule!
*trus acara berikutnya...suapin caleb, mandiin dia and then aku mandi n siap2...liatin jam mulu...kalo bisa slese jam 9 bisa naek mrt...kalo lewat jam 9, naek taxi...akhirnya naek taxi juga...
tapi asli capek banget buru2 mulu...mana barang yg mau dibawa banyak bener..
*telp taxi susah bangettt....daerah rumah kalo jam2 pagi gini jarang taxi...setelah 15 menit baru dapet taxi...aduhh uda panik banget kalo ga dapet taxi, mesti naek mrt lebih telat lagi dong...
karena paniknya bukan karena ngga enak telat ke grj..tapi krn caleb harus tidur by 10 am..which is pas kebaktian mulai..jadi kalo aku nyampe grj telat, caleb juga tidurnya siangnya telat...takut cranky aja kalo telat tidur...krn dia ga mau ditidurin di taxi/mrt...yang ada slm perjalanan dia bisa rewel juga krn ngantuk!!!
* di taxi sibuk entertain caleb supaya ga bosen...haduhhh pengen cepet sampe aja...dan berdoa ngga macet di CTE
pas di taxi sempet termenung n berpikir..kok dari pagi isinya buru2 dan deg2an mulu hati ini...and selalu begini kalo suami pelayanan and aku harus berangkat sendiri sama Caleb..really, it's not easy...walau in the end smuanya lancar...but really..it's not easy..
*nyampe gereja on time akhirnya...skrg kasih caleb minum susu sblm nap...deg2an juga..mau gak yaaaa...soalnya di grj dia banyak distraction..kadang suka ga mau minum susu...untung tadi mau sih...
*trus akhirnya waktunya nidurin dia juga...caleb lebih gampang tidur kalo ada musik..walau musiknya keras banget dia tetep bisa tidur..TAPII hari ini dia susah banget tidurnya...uda hampir tutup mata..eh denger suara daddy-nya ngomong, dia melek lagi...trus transisi antara 1 lagu ke lagu lainnya..jemaat kan tepuk tangan tuh...caleb melek lagi...haizzz selama 30 menit gendongin dia..pegelll banget..uda gak kuat jujur aja...asli BERATT banget...uda pengen nangis saking ga kuatnya..tapi mo gimana...ga bole give up...karena ini anak uda ngantuk banget krn uda yawning bbrp kali...kalo sampe ga ditidurin saat itu juga bisa cranky...akhirnya paksa2in...
untung merem juga pas lagu worship terakhir...phew...
aduhh yah gitu deh perjuangan kalo suami lagi pelayanan...berasa sendirian jagain anak...
capeknya bukan di fisik aja..tapi krn deg2an ngeburu waktu itu loh yang bikin pressure dan capeknya ngalir ke badan juga akhirnya...
tapi setelah hubby selesai pelayanan..langsung lega...and seneng bisa have fun sama temen2...dan akhirnya bisa melupakan semua tantangan tadi :)
I am doing my role
Banyak orang yang ngga pernah ngerasain ngurus anak sendiri, ngga punya maid pula..dengan gampangnya menilai orang lain yah..
aku sendiri pernah loh comment something yg skrg aku pikir2 mestinya ngga boleh lah ngomong gitu..
dulu..pas belom hamil...denger cerita ada temen yg kayak cuek banget sama anaknya...ini orang emang ngurus anak sendiri and ga punya maid juga...katanya kadang kalo anaknya nangis, dicuekin gitu..mamanya malah nongkrong depan internet..
pas denger gitu...aku n temen lgs berkomen...ihhh kok mamanya gitu sihhh
tapi tau ngga...setelah ngerasain sendiri...kadang2 kita yg 24 jam ngurusin anak, rumah, suami...bisa jenuh juga loh...kita tuh ngga punya kebebasan mau ngapa2in..smuanya depends on situation...mau pergi aja liat jadwal tidur n makan anak...mau makan pun hrs gantian, krn kalo anak bosen hrs entertain...dsb dsb yang ngga bisa di-describe satu per satu...diceritain pun percuma..harus alami sendiri..baru deh ngerti gimana rasanya
aku sendiri kalo lg jenuh bgt...jaga caleb jg sambil ber FB...kalo caleb nangis...sering juga aku rada cuekin...krn nangisnya bukan nangis beneran...nangis complain for my attention gitu...jangankan main FB, kita masak di dapur ato pipis aja, caleb nya protes...
krn masa2 10 bulan- 18 bulan tuh ada yg namanya separation anxiety...dan menurutku nangis2 dikit dibiarin gpp..kita juga manusia, perlu refreshing so we get our senses back, just balance everything in our life...a little bit of crying wont hurt him..dan bagus melatih dia utk bisa independent...tau gak kalo baby juga butuh and hrs dilatih utk bisa punya independent play time..jadi ga harus tiap kali main ditemenin..for caleb, his independent play time is always after his meal..for around 20-30 mins..most of the times, he's doing very well :)
another thing...
when we go out for outing...jangan kaget kalo liat suamiku yang lebih banyak gendong, main, and tidurin caleb (tapi kalo suapin caleb sih tetep hrs mamanya...krn daddynya ngga bisa hehehe).
My hubby is a very thoughtful husband..and I'm thankful to have him...dia bilang dia ngerti jenuhnya aku di rumah semingguan ngurusin anak..and he knows that my life has changed alot ever since caleb was born..so he wants to make sure that whenever we go out for outing, I have to have fun and enjoy...so he will try his best to take care of Caleb.. (but of course, aku ngga bisa sepenuhnya lepas tanggung jawab..kalo ngga caleb nya mau sama mommy-nya..ya mommynya kangen juga kalo ngga main sama caleb sama skali hehehe..)
cuman...ada aja orang yang ngga bakal ngerti and bisanya cuma menilai dan menilai...mungkin mereka pikir..that i'm not doing my job/role as a mom..and let santo do all my job...maybe people saw santo putting caleb to sleep sambil gendongin dia...or when we eat, and caleb is bored..santo will carry him and take him outside for a walk...
i know that maybe some people will think..why not let the mother do it???
you know... it's okay for whatever you think..cause I know not many people can understand what mothers like me are going through...you can say whatever you want in your mind, your heart...or even make a direct comment to me... but I also feel I've no obligation to explain everything...what for? you won't understand...unless you're going through what I am too..
here are some comments I found on the motherhood forum..and all these words came from mothers who take care of their own child without the help of a maid:
"Feel the same way abt not having much 'me' time."
"where got time to go movie. same here, hb think watch from internet or DVD is much cheaper & comfortable. Besides, bb is with us, anything we can attend him immediately, & if we're tired can immediately go to bed.... last time,i can stay up late night then go to bed, now cannot tahan... ard 11++ already very sleeping .... battery flat after a day of work & taking care bb at night .... battery flat after a day of work & take care of bb... wrinkles & white hair getting more ...sop sop
"
"every since have a baby, I've lost all my social time.... long time didn't go for movie & holidays How I wish to"
and this is from a mother who used to take care her child alone but now she's working:
"i know what is the feeling like of facing my kids the whole day. Generally it's enough to drive me crazy, so it's a good thing that i'm working. At least when i go home after work, i'll be so happy to see them and play with them!"
and mothers out there...I know what you're talking about..I do understand :)
you're not alone.. and thank God I read your comments too..so I know I'm not alone too!
aku sendiri pernah loh comment something yg skrg aku pikir2 mestinya ngga boleh lah ngomong gitu..
dulu..pas belom hamil...denger cerita ada temen yg kayak cuek banget sama anaknya...ini orang emang ngurus anak sendiri and ga punya maid juga...katanya kadang kalo anaknya nangis, dicuekin gitu..mamanya malah nongkrong depan internet..
pas denger gitu...aku n temen lgs berkomen...ihhh kok mamanya gitu sihhh
tapi tau ngga...setelah ngerasain sendiri...kadang2 kita yg 24 jam ngurusin anak, rumah, suami...bisa jenuh juga loh...kita tuh ngga punya kebebasan mau ngapa2in..smuanya depends on situation...mau pergi aja liat jadwal tidur n makan anak...mau makan pun hrs gantian, krn kalo anak bosen hrs entertain...dsb dsb yang ngga bisa di-describe satu per satu...diceritain pun percuma..harus alami sendiri..baru deh ngerti gimana rasanya
aku sendiri kalo lg jenuh bgt...jaga caleb jg sambil ber FB...kalo caleb nangis...sering juga aku rada cuekin...krn nangisnya bukan nangis beneran...nangis complain for my attention gitu...jangankan main FB, kita masak di dapur ato pipis aja, caleb nya protes...
krn masa2 10 bulan- 18 bulan tuh ada yg namanya separation anxiety...dan menurutku nangis2 dikit dibiarin gpp..kita juga manusia, perlu refreshing so we get our senses back, just balance everything in our life...a little bit of crying wont hurt him..dan bagus melatih dia utk bisa independent...tau gak kalo baby juga butuh and hrs dilatih utk bisa punya independent play time..jadi ga harus tiap kali main ditemenin..for caleb, his independent play time is always after his meal..for around 20-30 mins..most of the times, he's doing very well :)
another thing...
when we go out for outing...jangan kaget kalo liat suamiku yang lebih banyak gendong, main, and tidurin caleb (tapi kalo suapin caleb sih tetep hrs mamanya...krn daddynya ngga bisa hehehe).
My hubby is a very thoughtful husband..and I'm thankful to have him...dia bilang dia ngerti jenuhnya aku di rumah semingguan ngurusin anak..and he knows that my life has changed alot ever since caleb was born..so he wants to make sure that whenever we go out for outing, I have to have fun and enjoy...so he will try his best to take care of Caleb.. (but of course, aku ngga bisa sepenuhnya lepas tanggung jawab..kalo ngga caleb nya mau sama mommy-nya..ya mommynya kangen juga kalo ngga main sama caleb sama skali hehehe..)
cuman...ada aja orang yang ngga bakal ngerti and bisanya cuma menilai dan menilai...mungkin mereka pikir..that i'm not doing my job/role as a mom..and let santo do all my job...maybe people saw santo putting caleb to sleep sambil gendongin dia...or when we eat, and caleb is bored..santo will carry him and take him outside for a walk...
i know that maybe some people will think..why not let the mother do it???
you know... it's okay for whatever you think..cause I know not many people can understand what mothers like me are going through...you can say whatever you want in your mind, your heart...or even make a direct comment to me... but I also feel I've no obligation to explain everything...what for? you won't understand...unless you're going through what I am too..
here are some comments I found on the motherhood forum..and all these words came from mothers who take care of their own child without the help of a maid:
"Feel the same way abt not having much 'me' time."
"where got time to go movie. same here, hb think watch from internet or DVD is much cheaper & comfortable. Besides, bb is with us, anything we can attend him immediately, & if we're tired can immediately go to bed.... last time,i can stay up late night then go to bed, now cannot tahan... ard 11++ already very sleeping .... battery flat after a day of work & taking care bb at night .... battery flat after a day of work & take care of bb... wrinkles & white hair getting more ...sop sop
""every since have a baby, I've lost all my social time.... long time didn't go for movie & holidays
How I wish to"and this is from a mother who used to take care her child alone but now she's working:
"i know what is the feeling like of facing my kids the whole day. Generally it's enough to drive me crazy, so it's a good thing that i'm working. At least when i go home after work, i'll be so happy to see them and play with them!"
and mothers out there...I know what you're talking about..I do understand :)
you're not alone.. and thank God I read your comments too..so I know I'm not alone too!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
listen to Him
ini kejadian bulan december sih..I'd like to share it here sblm lupa lagi krn dulu sempet kepikir mau share tapi kok ga ditulis juga hehe..
well...ceritanya my hubby tuh lagi nunggu kiriman barang dari indo..barang yg emang uda mepet banget due-nya utk dikasih ke customernya..akhirnya barang itu emang nyampe tepat waktu..
pagi2 jam 10 uda dikirim ke rumah and aku udah sign juga..
nahh..since uda dikirim..aku pikir udah aman, bisa aku tinggal pergi ke mall ama caleb..ngga usah nunggu di rumah lagi...
sepulang dari mall..aku sempet check mailbox di bawah sblm naik ke lift...nah pas itu keluarlah orang singapore post office dari lift..bawa box gede yg box nya tuh persis kayak box yang tadi pagi dikirim ke rumah...hati kecilku bilang..go to that postman and ask him box nya itu buat siapa..
tapi aku pikir2 lagi..gak mungkin lah..barang suami uda dikirim tadi pagi, uda aku sign..pasti itu punya org lain..ngapain postman dateng 2x utk ngirim 1 barang..waktunya juga jauh bgt jam 10 pagi sama jam 4 sore..tapi again ada suara lagi yg suruh aku to just go and ask him...tapi aku tetep aja ngeyel ngga mau..buat apa..lagian by that time postman nya udah masuk ke mobil, and barangnya jg udah di dalem mobilnya..
akhirnya aku naek ke atas..and sampe depan rumah...aku liat ada surat kuning2...aku baca:
"failure delivery notice"
hahhh??!!!! lgs mulai dag dig dug...masak bener nih yg tadi buat aku??? tapi tadi kan uda dikirim...
akhirnya aku telp hubby..and dia blg iya emang supposed to be 2 boxes yg dikirim...wadohhhh...
dia jg uda panik..krn customernya mau ambil malem ini juga...
lgs aku telp kantor pos...and sebenernya yahhh bukan salah aku lohhhh...(defending nih yahh hahaha)...tapi iya kannn....kalo 2 boxes knp kirimnya beda jam dlm 1 hari..i suspect postman-nya yg emang ketinggalan 1 box makanya dia balik lagi sorenya..
cuma orang customer service bilang dia ga bisa bantu apa2..krn kalo uda fail delivered ya mesti collect sendiri ke kantor pusat di paya lebar..dan baru bisa collect plg cepet 3 hari...haaaaaa..... customer bisa marah donggg!!! aduhh bener ngrasa bersalah bangetttt
dan yg lbh kesel lg..pas aku telp itu skitar 15 menit stlh aku liat postman itu naek mobil..mestinya belom jauh donggg...tapi tetep aja customer service bilang sopirnya ga bisa balik lg :(
langsung ke kamar doa deh...baru tau..sebenernya itu Roh Kudus udah kasi tau...emang keliatannya gak masuk akal..tadi uda dikirim ngapain tanya postmannya lagi...it just didn't make sense right...tapiii nyesel deh skrg..tau gitu nanya aja...
akhirnya...stlh doa, minta ampun hehe..and berserah...
besokannya coba ke paya lebar...puji Tuhan dpt pinjeman mobil juga!
and praise God even more...our box is there..padahal dibilang 3 hari kan...
phew...lega...customer pun jd gak terlalu bete krn cuma telat sehari doang and pas dia liat barangnya dia jg puas...jd gak sempet ngomel juga ehhehehe
well...moral of the story...
kita..as a wife who prays (we have a role to pray for the family...we are the pillars!), we are equipped by the Holy Spirit...to have wisdom, to prevent wrong things, to do what's right for our family..esp for our spouse.. behind a man's success, it is us the woman who make them bright..so if we dont pray..if we don't have the Holy Spirit..we wont be strong enough to be a pillar for our family.
My mistake is that I fail to recognize His voice..and but I am thankful that God allowed me to fail to listen so that next time I won't fail again..
^_^
well...ceritanya my hubby tuh lagi nunggu kiriman barang dari indo..barang yg emang uda mepet banget due-nya utk dikasih ke customernya..akhirnya barang itu emang nyampe tepat waktu..
pagi2 jam 10 uda dikirim ke rumah and aku udah sign juga..
nahh..since uda dikirim..aku pikir udah aman, bisa aku tinggal pergi ke mall ama caleb..ngga usah nunggu di rumah lagi...
sepulang dari mall..aku sempet check mailbox di bawah sblm naik ke lift...nah pas itu keluarlah orang singapore post office dari lift..bawa box gede yg box nya tuh persis kayak box yang tadi pagi dikirim ke rumah...hati kecilku bilang..go to that postman and ask him box nya itu buat siapa..
tapi aku pikir2 lagi..gak mungkin lah..barang suami uda dikirim tadi pagi, uda aku sign..pasti itu punya org lain..ngapain postman dateng 2x utk ngirim 1 barang..waktunya juga jauh bgt jam 10 pagi sama jam 4 sore..tapi again ada suara lagi yg suruh aku to just go and ask him...tapi aku tetep aja ngeyel ngga mau..buat apa..lagian by that time postman nya udah masuk ke mobil, and barangnya jg udah di dalem mobilnya..
akhirnya aku naek ke atas..and sampe depan rumah...aku liat ada surat kuning2...aku baca:
"failure delivery notice"
hahhh??!!!! lgs mulai dag dig dug...masak bener nih yg tadi buat aku??? tapi tadi kan uda dikirim...
akhirnya aku telp hubby..and dia blg iya emang supposed to be 2 boxes yg dikirim...wadohhhh...
dia jg uda panik..krn customernya mau ambil malem ini juga...
lgs aku telp kantor pos...and sebenernya yahhh bukan salah aku lohhhh...(defending nih yahh hahaha)...tapi iya kannn....kalo 2 boxes knp kirimnya beda jam dlm 1 hari..i suspect postman-nya yg emang ketinggalan 1 box makanya dia balik lagi sorenya..
cuma orang customer service bilang dia ga bisa bantu apa2..krn kalo uda fail delivered ya mesti collect sendiri ke kantor pusat di paya lebar..dan baru bisa collect plg cepet 3 hari...haaaaaa..... customer bisa marah donggg!!! aduhh bener ngrasa bersalah bangetttt
dan yg lbh kesel lg..pas aku telp itu skitar 15 menit stlh aku liat postman itu naek mobil..mestinya belom jauh donggg...tapi tetep aja customer service bilang sopirnya ga bisa balik lg :(
langsung ke kamar doa deh...baru tau..sebenernya itu Roh Kudus udah kasi tau...emang keliatannya gak masuk akal..tadi uda dikirim ngapain tanya postmannya lagi...it just didn't make sense right...tapiii nyesel deh skrg..tau gitu nanya aja...
akhirnya...stlh doa, minta ampun hehe..and berserah...
besokannya coba ke paya lebar...puji Tuhan dpt pinjeman mobil juga!
and praise God even more...our box is there..padahal dibilang 3 hari kan...
phew...lega...customer pun jd gak terlalu bete krn cuma telat sehari doang and pas dia liat barangnya dia jg puas...jd gak sempet ngomel juga ehhehehe
well...moral of the story...
kita..as a wife who prays (we have a role to pray for the family...we are the pillars!), we are equipped by the Holy Spirit...to have wisdom, to prevent wrong things, to do what's right for our family..esp for our spouse.. behind a man's success, it is us the woman who make them bright..so if we dont pray..if we don't have the Holy Spirit..we wont be strong enough to be a pillar for our family.
My mistake is that I fail to recognize His voice..and but I am thankful that God allowed me to fail to listen so that next time I won't fail again..
^_^
the wife's diary
baru bener2 nyadar kalo sebenernya nama blog ini adalah the wife's diary tapi kok selalu ceritanya ttg being a mom ^^
well, setaon kmrn emang overwhelmed kali ya...having a baby gitu lohhh..raise him by my own sweat lagi!! all my challenged and victory jadi berpusat seputar anak..
now it's 1 year past already...I am more than willing to be fair focusing on both of my roles..as a mom and as a wife...and through this blog, I wish to bless those who need advice, info, encouragement, or just to have fun reading and kill time haha..
I've actually got lots of stories to tell..but really have to compete with time to post them..
let's start with one..
hari ini lagi2 I miss my grandma deeply (my dad's mom)...she passed away when I was in primary 6 but through this years..I have occasionally missed her.
and today I have a sudden remembrance of her..when I was very little..I stayed over her place ans slept on her bed beside her.. and I woke up to find her praying...She always prayed every morning..in a language that I didn't understand...of course she prayed in spirit, I didn't know that..I believe that her spirit prayed for her family, for her grandchildren...for those she loved...to be saved.
and many years later after she died, my family received Jesus as our saviour.
I come to understand..that it is so possible that we are now saved because of her prayer.
She had sowed through her prayer, although when she was alive, she didn't witness us received Jesus..but what was sowed, had been reaped!
I'd like to encourage us to always pray for our loved ones..
we may not know when our prayer is answered..we may not be the one who will reap what we sow..but definetely it will be reaped! For prayer works!
Yak 5:16 Doa orang yang benar, apabila dengan yakin didoakan, sangat besar kuasanya
well, setaon kmrn emang overwhelmed kali ya...having a baby gitu lohhh..raise him by my own sweat lagi!! all my challenged and victory jadi berpusat seputar anak..
now it's 1 year past already...I am more than willing to be fair focusing on both of my roles..as a mom and as a wife...and through this blog, I wish to bless those who need advice, info, encouragement, or just to have fun reading and kill time haha..
I've actually got lots of stories to tell..but really have to compete with time to post them..
let's start with one..
hari ini lagi2 I miss my grandma deeply (my dad's mom)...she passed away when I was in primary 6 but through this years..I have occasionally missed her.
and today I have a sudden remembrance of her..when I was very little..I stayed over her place ans slept on her bed beside her.. and I woke up to find her praying...She always prayed every morning..in a language that I didn't understand...of course she prayed in spirit, I didn't know that..I believe that her spirit prayed for her family, for her grandchildren...for those she loved...to be saved.
and many years later after she died, my family received Jesus as our saviour.
I come to understand..that it is so possible that we are now saved because of her prayer.
She had sowed through her prayer, although when she was alive, she didn't witness us received Jesus..but what was sowed, had been reaped!
I'd like to encourage us to always pray for our loved ones..
we may not know when our prayer is answered..we may not be the one who will reap what we sow..but definetely it will be reaped! For prayer works!
Yak 5:16 Doa orang yang benar, apabila dengan yakin didoakan, sangat besar kuasanya
Saturday, April 4, 2009
couplehood
I miss couplehood!!
today when hubby was about to leave for gen next..he kissed me goodbye n hugged me...
feeling like I wanted to burst crying... I realize i miss couplehood too...
when it's just me n hubby...
not that I regret anything..no..dont get it wrong...
haizz most probably just another post natal blues hit me..
ci lina kmrn ini jg tanya ke hubby kapan aku bisa diajak pergi2 lagi...
dalam hati..kyknya gak bakal lg deh...it's so tiring to bring baby outside..
pengalaman 3x keluar ama baby (ke PD 2x and ke KBRI)..persiapannya aja butuh waktu lama..hrs organize his travel bag..make sure gak ada yg ketinggalan..prepare susu, botolnya..air panasnya, diapers,etc etc...tiap kali abis keluar pasti sampe rumah capek bukan main...
but I think it's not so wise to answer ci lina's question by now...
coz caleb is still considered newborn baby...and I'm a new mother...
probably in the next month or a few months later...caleb grows up and easier to take care than now..and I'm already used to being a mother..my body is used to the new sleeping pattern and all baby things...
by that time, I may be ready to go out and have fun while I bring my baby with me too...
let's stay positive! :)
today when hubby was about to leave for gen next..he kissed me goodbye n hugged me...
feeling like I wanted to burst crying... I realize i miss couplehood too...
when it's just me n hubby...
not that I regret anything..no..dont get it wrong...
haizz most probably just another post natal blues hit me..
ci lina kmrn ini jg tanya ke hubby kapan aku bisa diajak pergi2 lagi...
dalam hati..kyknya gak bakal lg deh...it's so tiring to bring baby outside..
pengalaman 3x keluar ama baby (ke PD 2x and ke KBRI)..persiapannya aja butuh waktu lama..hrs organize his travel bag..make sure gak ada yg ketinggalan..prepare susu, botolnya..air panasnya, diapers,etc etc...tiap kali abis keluar pasti sampe rumah capek bukan main...
but I think it's not so wise to answer ci lina's question by now...
coz caleb is still considered newborn baby...and I'm a new mother...
probably in the next month or a few months later...caleb grows up and easier to take care than now..and I'm already used to being a mother..my body is used to the new sleeping pattern and all baby things...
by that time, I may be ready to go out and have fun while I bring my baby with me too...
let's stay positive! :)
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