My hubby and I both come from a family background where kisses, hugs, and 'I love you' were not done and said frequently. It's just our family's culture, typical asian - I guess. But when I was pregnant, hubby and I both agreed that we want to build a family where you can find warmth - giving kisses and hugs, or saying "I love you" will not be an awkward thing to do.
It is the same thing as if you want your kid to say 'please' and 'thank you', you need to be the role model for her/him and use these words alot. We do the same thing. We show love and affection towards one another at home. So far, whenever Caleb sees mommy and daddy hug each other, he would run to us and join us in our family hug. Every morning when Caleb opens his eyes, he will smile at me and he will give me a kiss. He couldn't say the words "I love you" properly yet but if we tell him "I love you", he will reply you "awooo" , meaning: I love you too :p
One day, he patted my head and said "hug mommy" and then kissed me. That was one of the best memories I want to treasure and I pray he will always be this lovely even when he grows older later.
Showing posts with label moral education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moral education. Show all posts
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Moral Education
Having a helper/nanny in our family for the past 2 months have taught me that it is best to raise our kids ourselves. I have some beliefs and knowledge that may differ from others and I hope that my son will learn good and true moral education.
Last month I overheard my helper scolded our TV cabinet because Caleb bang his head to it while trying to reach a ball. She scolded " bad cabinet!! ".
I didn't agree and approve that..neither have I ever blamed a non living thing just because my son had bumped to it. I would rather tell my son that he needs to be careful next time.
Today, I am not feeling well..down with flu symptoms and really want to rest. So I told my helper to take my son to the playground so I can rest a while. But Caleb still miss her mommy so much, he didn't want to be separated from me. So my helper told him "come on let's go..see..daddy is home already..he's at the door!". Of course, hearing 'daddy is home' had distracted my son enough to make him run to the living room...just to find there was noone there.
I hate this. I don't like lying. So far I remember I never lie to my son. and I don't like the idea of someone else planted a seed of lie to my son. It is because we lied to our kids, then they know how to lie when they're bigger.
So I just told my helper.." don't lie to him".
When I was in Jakarta, I remember one incident where my sis in law talked over to my nephew who at that time refused to take shower and go to school. My sis in law said "you have to be a good boy, otherwise mr policeman will come and arrest you...you don't want that to happen, don't u?"
I don't know if my nephew really believed her or not...but he then took shower and went to school with a grumpy face.
I have always thought and believed that kids (and babies) are smart. We are not supposed to treat them like they don't know anything.
I have always believed that Caleb understands what I'm talking about since he was a baby...and these days I see him able to communicate and follow instruction better than other kids I know.
If we choose to believe that kids/babies are not smart enough that they just believe your lies, well...that's what you'll get. It may save your situation for that moment, but I don't think it's a good moral education for them in future if you planted lies.
But I guess what just happened between my helper and my son, that would happen again...we are living in this world who belong the the king of lies, we face this. I pray that I will never have to lie to my son or anyone else...and may I be given the wisdom to educate my son and to help him deal with people's lies and that he will grow to be an honorable man of God.
Last month I overheard my helper scolded our TV cabinet because Caleb bang his head to it while trying to reach a ball. She scolded " bad cabinet!! ".
I didn't agree and approve that..neither have I ever blamed a non living thing just because my son had bumped to it. I would rather tell my son that he needs to be careful next time.
Today, I am not feeling well..down with flu symptoms and really want to rest. So I told my helper to take my son to the playground so I can rest a while. But Caleb still miss her mommy so much, he didn't want to be separated from me. So my helper told him "come on let's go..see..daddy is home already..he's at the door!". Of course, hearing 'daddy is home' had distracted my son enough to make him run to the living room...just to find there was noone there.
I hate this. I don't like lying. So far I remember I never lie to my son. and I don't like the idea of someone else planted a seed of lie to my son. It is because we lied to our kids, then they know how to lie when they're bigger.
So I just told my helper.." don't lie to him".
When I was in Jakarta, I remember one incident where my sis in law talked over to my nephew who at that time refused to take shower and go to school. My sis in law said "you have to be a good boy, otherwise mr policeman will come and arrest you...you don't want that to happen, don't u?"
I don't know if my nephew really believed her or not...but he then took shower and went to school with a grumpy face.
I have always thought and believed that kids (and babies) are smart. We are not supposed to treat them like they don't know anything.
I have always believed that Caleb understands what I'm talking about since he was a baby...and these days I see him able to communicate and follow instruction better than other kids I know.
If we choose to believe that kids/babies are not smart enough that they just believe your lies, well...that's what you'll get. It may save your situation for that moment, but I don't think it's a good moral education for them in future if you planted lies.
But I guess what just happened between my helper and my son, that would happen again...we are living in this world who belong the the king of lies, we face this. I pray that I will never have to lie to my son or anyone else...and may I be given the wisdom to educate my son and to help him deal with people's lies and that he will grow to be an honorable man of God.
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