Emotional Development

I posted last week about Caleb going through some emotional development and recent post about he is having tantrums.
I found it in Hogg's book some info regarding this emotional thingy and I decided to point out some interesting highlights that catch my interest. I hope this will be a useful information for you (or in future)

What cause the emotions:
1. The Child's own temperament
the child's character itself will play a big role. If his character alone is sensitive, grumpy type...he would be more likely to get vulnerable and easily get upset

2. Environmental Factors
when house is not child-proof, our toddie can easily get injured and when they get hurt often means they cry often too.
Changes or chaos in the family can affect his emotion too.
Or when you have an early walker, he will easily get frustrated if he can't find a way and opportunity to be free exploring his new skill.
In this case, it is true for caleb. Caleb gets frustrated when we go outside having meals or his parents are having a long chit chat with friends while he just do nothing but sit. he wants to walk around and explore but most of the times he needs to wait til one of his parents finish the meal before he gets to walk. Of course he cant walk alone right. and that is why he seems bored and act upset on some of our outings.

3. Developmental issues
When a child is going through a separation anxiety phase, he will be so clingy to us and will get upset whenever he doesn't see us around. This happens to Caleb. I told you before there was a whole week he was being so cranky and so clingy. It still happens til now though.
Lack of vocabulary language can cause a frustration too. Toddlers by 1 year above should have understood what we are saying. He has alot of things in his mind and just when he wants to say it..he doesnt know what word to use..he sure knows what he wants but he cant say it...this can make him so frustrated!
The twos. well I'm not there yet. But people say (and the book too) that 2 years old is the age of when our babies get to be independent. they start saying I, me and mine. their willingnes too please their parents have decreased. they know what likes and dislikes. people often use the word 'terrible two's"
Teething. hmmm yes...sore gums can really affect baby's sleep, appetite and of course behaviour! Happens to Caleb too.

4. Parent's behaviour
I like what Tracy said that all children have emotions, it's how parents react to them that matters.
our children can get runaway emotions when parents get inconsistent, have different standards and argue with each other, and dont prepare the child for upcoming events that might be stressful.

source: Baby whisperer solves all your problem (tracy hogg) p.299

Enjoy the moment

This week has been a very hard week for me as a mom.
Caleb seems to enter a new stage of emotional development..this development introduce him new emotions such as ' shy', 'frustrating', and 'more clingy than ever!!'

starting on last monday... Caleb suddenly became super clingy to me..well, he was clingy before..but these days he is even more clingy than ever before!!! the difference is that.. he would cry looking for me if he doesn't see his mom..and even if he already finds where I am..he doesn't like it if I don't attend to him..so he wants me to stop doing whatever I'm doing at that time and attend to him..he also loves to be carried by me..that's the only way to stop him crying..and worse is..the cry!! he cries like he is hurt so badly. The whole day he can cry really ALOT.. many many times...I really couldnt stand the cry..it was like my blood is going up and I did get headache on one of the days.. sigh..

He easily gets frustrated too..if he's bored, if he falls down, if he can't solve a problem with his toys.

I noticed that he is also more shy than usual towards people. Yesterday when he came to Gennext, he looked scared to step in, knowing that he was welcomed and surrounded by people who tried to entertain him. Well, he never likes being overstimulated and surrounded by people..(he doesnt like basa basi people hahaha.. he likes when people really talk to him and sincerely likes him and shows that the person really wants to play with him)..
but thank God, he adapted to the environment quickly and back to himself...walking around,clapping hands, and giggling around :)
there was also once when people say hi to him...he smiled to the person but came running back hugging me, giggling...like those kind of 'malu tapi mau' kind of thing hehehe
yea.. I notice this.. he was more shy but yet he is still my friendly baby who waves hi and bye to everyone.. I often get compliments from those strangers in mrt, lift, food court, supermarket..that caleb is a friendly or smart or cute little baby hihihihi...not trying to boast here..but.. oh so what... I AM proud of my son!!

okayy get back to the point that I'm trying to say..
this week is hard. I was so stressed and overtired..and sleep deprived. Caleb didn't sleep well too since monday and he woke up like 3-4 times a night..I only slept like 2 hours every night..and when he woke up, I have to face his crankiness!!!

I suspected teething. I didn't understand why at first..so of course I suspect it's the molar tooth coming out..I heard that will be painful. but he eats quite ok..yes, he was choosy but he still eats.
The last time he was teething, he always refused to eat, remember? this time was different..so I wasn't sure what was going on and not knowing means extra stress for me.

So i talked to my friend, Noviana, she has a baby who is 2 weeks younger than Caleb.
I am so glad i talked to her. Because the first thing she said to me after she heard my story: "same here" all the cry of clingy-ness, the frustration, the waking up again...she's facing the same thing!
OHhhh I was so relieved!!!!!
she told me that she read it somewhere that around this age baby is having a transition period from being dependable to become more independent and some babies are not emotionally ready for that. So I googled about this emotional development and I read some comments about the solution, which is.... JUST enjoy this moment!! when I read this..I was like... enjoy??? are u kidding me? it's driving me nuts!!!
but then at night I thought about it..u know..it's right! I have to enjoy this...coz this moment pass too fast and suddenly u realize you are at another phase where your kid doesn't want to be held anymore...that is when he IS ready to be independent..you will miss those moments when you can cuddle him and kiss him as many times as you want...well, there will be a time when he refused to be kissed! especially in public haha..

and oh..I also happen to read some posts in forum. Two mummies were stressed over their kids fall sick so often that they need to go to hospital. I think of that and I really feel their burden..I couldn't imagine having separated with caleb for being hospitalized..that thought is sooo scary!
I was already so heartpain when caleb was having flu..don't mention about a harder case than that!

so I think..my sufferings now is really nothing..in fact, it is a common thing..
I only face a cranky kid but he is at home with me
my sleepless nights..but my kid was still lying next to me..
I shouldn't be stressed over small matters

and so Saturday I woke up with different feeling..I felt I have gained an understanding that made me feel ready to face the day and his crankiness. To my surprise the change of my heart really made my day. I wasn't sure whether Caleb was really less cranky since saturday or it was just me who didn't really bother with the cry anymore..

and that saturday morning.. I hugged Caleb and told him 'Caleb, even if you fail and disappointed me many times, I will always love you and take care of you and will never abandon you'.